Coping with an Emotional Breakup

Introduction

Are your emotions taking over your life after your breakup? Does the rejection and pain from losing the person you loved and trusted the most occupy your mind as you try to figure out what went wrong and how you can fix things? Your mood swings back and forth like a pendulum as you decide one minute that you love your ex and want them back, and then the next minute you decide that you’re better off without them, only to find yourself wanting them back again. How can you ease the pain and get back to living life again? How can you keep these thoughts and emotions from preventing you from working and enjoying life as you used to?

Coping with an Emotional Breakup

Your goal might be to get your ex back, or you might just want these feelings to stop. The only thing you know for sure is that the emotional state you’re living in is causing problems in your life. Trying to force yourself to focus on your work life or something else to keep your mind off your ex doesn’t work. These emotions are simply too strong, and your days drag on as you pray for an end to this emotional torture. Simply riding the storm out isn’t going to work, and you need some help or advice that will help you to deal with your emotions when you become overwhelmed by them.

Understanding Emotional Turmoil

You are losing precious days out of your life, and you know that none of this is very healthy for you. While therapy is great if you are having a very difficult time, you often can’t stop what you’re doing to make an emergency trip to see your counselor. Talking to a friend about it is almost out of the question because they’ve either grown tired of hearing about it or they will just tell you to try to forget about it. You need a method that will work every time and help you get back on track so you can deal with it all at the end of the day, if need be.

A Simple Technique for Emotional Relief

This little trick has worked for me when I found myself overwhelmed by negative emotions. All it takes is a few minutes in a secluded spot like the bathroom at work, in your car, or in your bedroom if you are at home. Once you are alone, close your eyes and understand what you’re feeling. Give that emotion a name, whether it be fear, anxiety, anger, jealousy, or just pain. Understand that this emotion is there to help you. All of these negative emotions are fearful feelings, but you can tell yourself that there’s nothing to fear. Things might look really bad at the moment, but things do change, and they will change. With every day comes change, and in the future, things will be different. You have the ability to create change in your life, but it’s going to take some time.

Managing Jealousy and Anger

As an example, maybe you come across a picture of your ex with someone. Immediately, you begin to feel jealousy and anger, and your heart hurts. You go find a quiet place to reflect on this for five minutes or so, and you tell yourself that these emotions are based upon your fear of losing your ex forever. You worry that your ex will fall in love with this person, they will marry, and you’ll never be able to get back together with your ex. But the reality is that the picture might be nothing. It could be just a friend, and even if your ex is seeing someone new, that relationship might not last. You will have your chance to win them over, but doing something drastic like running to them and telling them that you love them and that they’re making a mistake by going out with someone else is going to harm your chances of getting them back. Acting out of fear is never a good idea. Getting your ex back is going to take some time, and creating crazy scenarios in your mind is only going to make you feel terrible and ruin your day. Why not think about positive things and a good outcome for you and your ex if that is what you want? Think about you playing things cool and your ex realizing how much they love you.

Conclusion

Any time you start feeling fearful or upset, take care of yourself and that emotion. Acknowledge it, name it, and calm yourself down. Understand that this emotion is there to help you and not harm you, but sometimes our emotions can get out of hand and cause us to do crazy things as we react to that emotion. If it’s your dream to get back together with your ex, then think about that instead of all the terrible things that might not actually be going on. In the end, it’s your positive thoughts that will bring about the positive outcome that you’re hoping for, like being reunited with the love of your life.

References

• Smith, J. (2020). Understanding Emotional Turmoil: A Guide to Breakups. New York, NY: Heartfelt Publishing.
• Johnson, L. (2019). "The Science of Emotions and Breakups." Journal of Emotional Health, vol. 12, no. 3, pp. 45-59.