Exploration of Women’s Rite of Passage and Its Connection to Death

Introduction

When I was in grade 1, our teacher told us to pick a hero and explain our choice to the class. Like many little girls, I chose my mother. I drew a picture of the two of us and proudly shared stories about the woman I called “the best mom ever.” I meant it then, and I still do. Back then, I described her role as the woman of our house as best as my seven-year-old self could. Now, as a student, I revisit that proud speech, questioning what it truly means to become a woman. More importantly, I explore the anthropological concept of the rite of passage she underwent to earn this title, referencing Victor Turner’s anthropological writings and beliefs.

Discussion of the Rite of Passage of Women and Death

Definition and Stages of Rite of Passage

A rite of passage is defined as moving between two structures in society. For my mother, these structures were childhood and womanhood. Unlike traditional rites such as a Quinceañera or a special birthday, her transition was marked by loss. At sixteen, she mourned the death of her mother and mentor, a profound rite of passage that reshaped her role in the family. This rite can be broken into three stages as defined by Arnold van Gennep (1909): separation, liminality, and reincorporation.

Separation

The first stage, separation, marks the loss of identity and the end of one’s previous societal status. For my mother, this began with the sudden death of her mother in a car accident. The funeral, with its symbolic rituals, signaled this transition. Symbols like the lighting and extinguishing of a candle and the shoveling of dirt onto the casket conveyed the finality of life and separation from childhood. These symbols, as McNeill (2016) notes, are crucial in rites of passage, marking life’s significant transitions.

In this stage, the individual is confronted with the stark reality of change. The symbolic acts performed at the funeral not only serve to honor the deceased but also act as a collective acknowledgment of the transition for those left behind. For my mother, these rituals marked the beginning of a journey she was neither prepared for nor fully understood at the time. The loss of her mother forced her to confront her vulnerabilities and take on responsibilities that would shape her identity in ways she had never anticipated.

Liminality

The second stage, liminality, is characterized by being in a state of transition. Turner (1969) describes this as a period where individuals belong to no group, learning the rules and obligations of their new role. After the funeral, my mother entered this liminal space during the wake, where she began to understand her responsibilities as the woman of the house. The black funeral clothing represented communitas, a shared experience of mourning that unified those in attendance while also delineating them from the rest of society.

During this phase, my mother grappled with a sense of isolation, as she no longer fit into her previous role as a child, yet was not fully recognized in her new role as the head of the household. The wake served as a crucial learning ground, where she observed and absorbed the unspoken expectations of her new position. It was here that she began to internalize the lessons of leadership, care, and resilience, even as she mourned her loss. The liminality of this stage underscored the transformative power of rites of passage, as it provided a space for her to evolve and adapt to her changing circumstances.

Reincorporation

The final stage, reincorporation, occurs when the individual assumes a new, stable role within society. For my mother, this process began as the family adjusted to their new routine. However, given the violent and sudden nature of her loss, the exact endpoint of her reincorporation is ambiguous. Thirteen years later, her fears about becoming a mother without her own mother’s guidance revealed the evolving nature of her rite of passage, demonstrating that such transitions can be ongoing.

Even after settling into her role, my mother’s journey of reincorporation continued to shape her identity. The birth of her first child, myself, brought a renewed sense of purpose and responsibility, but also revived the insecurities rooted in her initial transition. Her rite of passage was not a single event with a clear conclusion but a lifelong process that continuously redefined her understanding of womanhood and motherhood. This highlights the fluid nature of reincorporation, where the lessons learned during liminality are revisited and reinterpreted as life progresses.

Power Dynamics in Rites of Passage

Power dynamics play a crucial role in rites of passage. In some rituals, elders or leaders hold power, as seen in the Ndembu of Zambia, where a chief undergoes symbolic rituals (Turner, 1969). In other contexts, systems of bureaucracy wield power, as described by Sutton et al. (2011) in their study of migrants waiting for visas. In my mother’s case, the power in her rite of passage was held not by a person but by death itself. The priest, though leading the funeral, had no power over the finality of death, which underscored its dominance over life’s ultimate rite of passage.

This dynamic illustrates a fundamental aspect of rites of passage: the relinquishing of control. For my mother, the ritual of mourning imposed its own rules and timelines, dictating the pace of her transition. The acknowledgment of death as the ultimate arbiter in this process highlights the universal truth of human vulnerability. It is through this surrender to the inevitability of change that individuals find the strength to rebuild and redefine themselves within their new societal roles.

Conclusion

In conclusion, the writings of Turner and van Gennep accurately define the stages of a rite of passage: separation, liminality, and reincorporation. However, each ritual is subjective, and no two experiences are identical. My mother’s journey into womanhood was unconventional, marked by loss rather than celebration. Yet it fulfilled all the criteria of a rite of passage, illustrating that the path to a new societal role can take many forms, each unique and deeply personal.

Her experience underscores the resilience of the human spirit in the face of adversity. It also serves as a testament to the transformative power of rites of passage, which, while rooted in tradition, remain deeply personal and adaptable to the individual’s circumstances. As we continue to explore the complexities of these transitions, we gain a deeper understanding of the human condition and the myriad ways in which we navigate the challenges of life.

References

• McNeill, F. (2016). Original Venda Hustler. In Symbolism in Rites of Passage. London: Academic Press.
• Sutton, D., Vigneswaran, D., & Wels, H. (2011). Waiting in Liminal Space: Migrants’ Queuing for Home Affairs in South Africa. Migration Studies Review, 12(1), 30-45.
• Turner, V. (1969). The Ritual Process: Structure and Anti-Structure. Chicago: Aldine.
• van Gennep, A. (1909). The Rites of Passage. Chicago: University of Chicago Press.