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Divorce, Its Causes and Effects

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The purpose of this essay is to elaborate on the major causes of divorce, psychological effects and how to cope with it. An increase in amount of U.S. couples divorcing is growing. Statistics stated in the essay is proof. The lacks of communication, physical and psychological abuse are the leading causes of divorce worldwide. After or while in the process of filing for a divorce, couples go through psychological effects such as depression, suicidal thoughts and daily medical visitations. However the top ways of coping with divorce are allowing grieving, seeing a therapist, and taking time out to completely focus on a divorcee’s life. Included in this essay is a personal experience of relatives going through a divorce. Dissolution can be a start of a new life or eternal brokenness for one or both parties.

Going through an annulment with a significant other can be very devastating and traumatic for an individual. According to recent statistics, the United States is rated third in the highest divorce rate internationally, with an amount of 4.34 divorces per 1,000 people. On the contrary, American Samoa rarely has divorce cases due to the low rate of divorcees in our island. In order for a marriage split-up to fully process, both partners must agree to its conditions. Bringing about a divorce portrays a vivid image of two discontented parties in a marriage. Feeling remorseful and shameful, also flashbacks of memories can come into existence while undergoing a divorce with one’s spouse. The process of getting through a divorce can be very upsetting and traumatizing for an individual or both parties. However, for some individuals they find divorce as a source of happiness. Based on a study completed by educators enrolling in Kingston University, during a 20 year period, researchers concluded that women were more content and satisfied with their lives after a divorce. One thing the public should be well- aware of before making assumptions, married couples who files for divorce could be encountering multiple life problems that stay concealed and unrevealed.

Marriage difficulties such as the lack of communication and commitment from one or both parties can lead to a union destruction. As reported by Law Offices of Ira, a survey conducted in the United States indicated that poor communication skills are a leading cause of divorce. Not having daily conversations about certain things in a marriage can stray an individual from being committed to a lifetime relationship. Couples should always be conversing daily to keep their partner notified and cognizant of the situations they are currently encountering. Not being able to communicate well with a spouse can have them interrogate your every action. A significant other will instantly instill negative thoughts such as not being sufficient for their partner’s to acknowledge them or he/she does not desire their presence any longer. Lack of communication between two parties can direct to constant arguments and distance. In addition, couples go through separation because of physical and psychological abuse. An abusive and a manipulative lifetime lover can put a marriage in endangerment. Nearly, 15% of women and 4% of men have experienced physical violence from their domestic partner; research suggests that mistreated wives are most likely to get divorced. Commonly, husbands who are physical abusers frighten their wives to an extent whereas they feel completely vulnerable in their homes with their own spouse. Physical abuse involving hitting, kicking, pushing and other wounding bodily movement can result to instant distance and loss of affection from one’s partner. Moreover, psychological violence includes controlling one’s significant other to cut ends with his or her friends, families and loved ones. A study suggested that men’s overall risk of emotional abuse may be increasing; women experienced the highest rates of isolation. Women are to not be in contact with their colleagues, loved ones but to obey. A spouse could utilize another’s deepest fear or weakness to their advantage. Not having the free will to become associated with the public is an extreme factor that leads to divorce. Personally, I strongly believe that this is the most hazardous and toxic trait in a marriage that would most definitely requires filing a divorce. It could ruin an individual mentally.

Mental and psychological effects such as depression and misery are what married couples encounter while going through a divorce. Deciding to terminate a union can be traumatic and chaotic, especially for marriages that lasted for decades. An estimation of 65% of couples undergoes depression while divorcing. Couples experience insomnia and prefer staying indoors to reminisce. Additionally, both parties have paid medical visits daily. Refusing to devour nourishments for strength and vitality, couples gets instantly sick and are admitted to medical facilities for checkups. An article written by a divorcee narrates a heartfelt story when he was paying visits to the hospital every once in a while after being annulled with his lifetime lover. Divorce can ruin one’s health when they are having an arduous time processing it. A risky contemplation such as suicide crosses a divorcee’s mind after filing for a divorce. Data obtained from a Mortality Study demonstrated that separated people have a higher suicide rate than others. Suicide is known as to be a permanent solution to everyone’s provisional problems. Given that suicide rates are rapidly increasing overtime, divorced couples view suicide as one of their alternatives to their temporary difficulty. However, divorced partners should be searching for advantageous ways to get through divorce, rather than instilling pessimistic thoughts and inherit unusual behaviors that not only will damage their mentality but as well as their health.

There are several ways to cope with divorce. For instance, allowing you to grieve the loss of an expected-to-be lifetime relationship. Grief is a natural reaction to loss. An individual has lost their faithful companion, their hope, and years of memories. Therefore it is normal to feel doleful, angry and terrified. In order to get through, you will have to contend those feelings, to cry, to scream and process all those remorseful feelings. The pain of grieving allows a divorced couple to let go of their past relationship and to mainly focus on rebuilding the future. Moreover, to cope with dissolution, a divorcee should see a divorce therapist. The support from closed ones and a therapist can heal an individual who is undergoing a divorce. Connecting with a therapist can aid an individual to formulate goals and a beneficial perspective in life. Divorce therapists have the knowledge and the ability to turn one’s life around and to recover. Couples who have a hard time surmounting divorce highly recommend that meeting up with a divorce therapist has aided them a lot. Losing ties with one’s significant other can be very treacherous for most individuals, although setting an appointment with a divorce therapist can be a fresh start and a clearer view of more opportunities life has to offer. Furthermore, self-care is another alternative to overcome an annulment. Taking time out to completely focus on yourself and what the next step of your new life will be is a solution as well. Divorcees should now anchor their attention to them alone and what it is best for them. Such as getting involved in charity clubs, visiting friends more often, exercising regularly and practicing self-compassion. It will instigate new ideas and hopes for someone who is being burdened with the loss of their lifetime partner. Individuals can now look at the world from a whole new different perspective and can learn to love their selves.

Overall, divorce is definitely not an easy pathway to partake. Speaking from experience, I have witnessed one of my relatives going through an annulment. It was precisely not a matter worth witnessing, especially being a part of a union that lasted for a decade. There were reasons to why this marriage led to a divorce and the aftermath of it was a catastrophe for the first few years. With having children, my relative who resided with us had a difficult time trying to fulfill and balance their children’s desires and necessities financially. It was a bumpy road to surpass. Years were invested in trying to make things possible for both of the divorced spouses and their children. After taking time out to sort and figure matters out on their own, my divorced relatives were able to compromise and formulate a routine to make their separation feasible. It takes a warrior to get through a dissolution that was expected to last a lifetime. An annulment can be a start of something new for an individual who has been having a strenuous time trying to rewrite a failing marriage, or a heartbreaking scenario for someone who has been committed for so long and he/she is not receiving the same effort from their spouses. 

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