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In today’s society divorce has become more popular,than ever before. According to the statistics, in Europe forty percent of the marriages end up with a divorce. ( “Marriage and Divorce Statistics” Statistics Explained ) But what is a divorce? A divorce is a legal action between married people to end their relationship. Divorce is a very unfortunate event for the family, especially for those that have children. Parents do not always consider that it is the children who suffer the most after a divorce.
First of all, obviously children do not want to see their parents leave eachother. The separation of parents can give a child a very hard time,because in some cases the relationship between the parent and the child can go wrong due to the of the lack of contact, and it can also increase the conflict between parents. However, each child is different, every one of them take more or less time to accept the change. The period of the transition depends on the parents behaviour too (Emery, “The Truth about Children and Divorce, Emery on Divorce). According to Bogner Gebor and Telkes Jozsef’s book, the age of the child has an impact on how he or she will react to the divorce. A child who is between the age of 3-5 might feel abandoned and scared in case of a divorce. They could possibly fall into a depression and they have a tendency to blame themselves. Children aged 6-8 react in a lot more harsher way than pre-schoolers. At this age, can feel sadness, anger and they are scared of being refused. Child at this age may suffer from depression and could possibly find trouble concentrating on one thing. Usually they fantasize about reconciling their parents. The next group of children that the book talks about are the children who are aged between 9-12. Their reactions is very intensive, they will feel anger towards a specific topic, usually have trouble with identity and might suffer from trust issues, loyalty problems. Their school performance tend to worsen and children at this age might step up aggressively towards other children and they might suffer from depression as well. Tweens usually have an alliance with one of the parents. The last age group the book mentions are the adolescents, they children between the age of 13-18. These children seem to suffer the most long-termly. They feel anger, sadness and disappointment, being nervous towards their own future and relationships. Their personality seem to be very retractable, and the grow up too fast. (Bogner Gebor and Telkes, Jozsef, A Veles Lelektana.) Children of divorced parents require support and attention. There are several places where they can get this help, first and foremost from their parents. As a divorced parent you have to help your children deal with this huge change in his or her life. If you have an older child, make your him or her comfortable talking about his or her feelings towards the situation. Talking is very important. However if you do not seem to be able to talk about this with your child, you might have to consider visiting a child psychologist. They can give your child a lot more professional attention and support than anyone. Moreover, there are several support groups for children with divorced parents. There are a lot of ways and methods to help your children deal with the divorce, you just have to make sure you deal with this situation with the best of your knowledge.
In conclusion, parents should think about the way they are going through a divorce, especially if they have children. They have to keep in mind that if they divorce in a very angry way, it will affect their children’s life, and possibly ruin his or her attitude towards marriage, family and relationships. Parents have to look after their children’s reaction, behaviour and attitude. Sometimes children seem to blame themselves for the divorce. (Dealing with divorce, SafeTeens.) Divorce is something parents must talk about with their children, they have to explain why everything is happening, and tell the child that it is not his or her fault. By doing this, parents can maintain a good relationship between the child and parent. The parent who does not get child custody must visit his or her child whenever he or she can. All in all, if you live in an unhealthy marriage and you wish to divorce, even if you have children, keep in mind that you can easily destroy your children’s life.
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