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Nowadays divorce is one of the biggest problems of society in particular families. A divorce is a concluding legal dissolution of marriage. According to the statistic, 2.1 million marriages and 943 thousand divorces took place in the EU in 2013. It means that in every 1000 person were 4.1 marriages and 1.9 divorces. There can be loads of reasons for divorce. In present time do not get along with characters. Alcoholism and drug addiction of one of the spouses, infertility, and reluctance to have children, treachery also influences to make a divorce. Such a decision negative effect on society, but the children of spouses are more harmed. Divorce is the most difficult phase of a married couple’s life. As adults, they might eventually get over the tough period, but children become a collateral casualty. Their minds are tender and can slip into a state of shock on seeing parents split forever.
Divorce is the most difficult phase of a married couple’s life. As adults, they might eventually get over the tough period, but children become a collateral casualty. Their minds are tender and can slip into a state of shock on seeing parents split forever. The adverse effects of divorce can be long-lasting on children and may impact their own relationships. Studies have shown that in the US, the daughters of divorced parents have a 60% higher divorce rate than those of non-divorced parents. The number is 35% for sons.
There some factors that can affect the reaction of the children. Firstly it is gender. Divorce affects boys and girls equally, but in some cases, a particular gender may show a more adverse reaction than the other. For example, depression due to divorce is higher in boys than in girls. On the other hand, girls have a greater tendency to develop severe behavioral problems (MomJunction, 2017 October 25). Overall, divorce has identical and equivalent levels of psychological reactions among children of both genders. The age of the children also plays a role in how they react to the divorce. Effects of divorce on children under 9 years – the so-called pre-schoolers – are that they tend to blame themselves for the divorce. They also dream about their parents getting back together again someday. That’s wishful thinking. Pre-schoolers need a lot of attention, care, love, and confirmation from them. As a result of the divorce, they might become even more dependent on their parents.
Adolescents (children between 9 and 13 years) react in the opposite direction. They tend to behave more independent. They feel betrayed by their divorced parents. Mistrust enters the relationship. They feel they have to take care of themselves, to take things into their own hands. Mum and dad are apparently putting their interest first. Among effects of divorce on children are negative emotions like bitterness, stress, emotional pain, anxiety, fear, feeling abandoned, feeling betrayed and loss of self-esteem. Judith Wallerstein concluded from her long-term research project that the highest impact of divorce on children comes 15 to 25 years after the divorce when the children enter into a serious romantic relationship. Not during their childhood, adolescence or young adult phase. They expect to fail and they fear loss, change, and conflict(Children-and-divorce, n.d.). However, if it is not possible to save the family, there some tips that can help to overcome the period of divorce for children. First of all, do not keep the impending divorce a secret. Do not tell about divorce at the last moment, because it can confuse and shock the child. It is necessary to find a right time and tell the child everything about your decision Do not shout to the partner with whom you are divorcing, keep your mind clearly. Secondly, maintain a healthy routine.
This is applicable especially to toddlers and preschoolers. Do not let divorce disrupt the routine of your child when he/ she is a toddler or an infant. Keep feeding, bathing, and sleeping, all at the same time like it was before. Cuddle with the child and make it a point to spend quality time. It will all bring a sense of normalcy in the life of the child.
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