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Talking about communication without recognizing the importance of emotions is impossible. Having the feeling of anger ruins one’s time while feeling calm helps a person in solving personal problems. Emotional intelligence is significant in both personal and interpersonal success, and it helps in healthy conflict management and in relationships. Understanding and managing one’s emotions shows how much a person is sensitive to other people’s feelings. (Adler and Proctor 124) This work is about the relevance of the steps to minimizing debilitating emotions in a scenario where one’s emotions triggered. It is also an identification and disputation of the irrational fallacies in managing emotions.
Debilitative emotions detract individuals from effective functioning and therefore ought to be controlled using specific guidelines. In a scenario where a roommate trips on my computer cord and shuts down the machine before I am able to save the work I was doing, I would apply some of the steps in minimizing debilitating emotions in order to solve the problem easily. Firstly, I would try and monitor my emotional reactions. Since I am able to tell my emotional states, I would utilize the unique ability to make critical decisions and avoid overreacting. I would prove the importance of distinguishing and labeling emotions as a vital component of emotional intelligence.
In the given situation, I would also recognize the difference between feelings, talking and acting. In the situation when my roommate trips on my computer, I would ensure that I avoid talking about what I feel at the moment the accident occurs. Avoiding much talking at the moment would ensure that I do not say unnecessary things out of the anger in me. It is all about acting wise in order to avoid clashing with the roommate. Recognizing that I am upset with the roommate would make it possible for me to explore exactly I feel so upset. Again, pretending that nothing is wrong may not be a solution to debilitating emotions. I would for that reason, therefore share my feelings with the roommate who has wronged me.
Expanding my emotional vocabulary would also help in debilitating my feelings. Expanding my emotional vocabulary would help me explain the feelings that I have without failing to reveal some feelings. In order to avoid statements that are emotionally counterfeit, I would ensure that I watch my vocabulary. I would not hesitate to mention the extent of my feelings to the roommate so as to let him understand the circumstance that my feeling is centered on
Most importantly, I would consider when and where to express my feelings. Time and again, the first glow of an intense emotion is not the best time to speak out. An incident like the roommate tripping on my computer may lead me into saying words that I would regret later. I would therefore wait until I have thought carefully on how I should express my feelings on a way that would be heard. According to the textbook, being tired by a matter is probably the best reason for postponing an expression of a feeling. There are also cases where one might to choose to never express his feeling, more so if the offender is showing some sought of arrogance. (Adler and Proctor 144)
Moreover, I would reappraise my irrational beliefs at the moment when the accident occurs to my roommate. I would try hard to ensure that I do not use vulgar language in expressing my feelings. Making sure that the language I use reflects my feelings may be the best option to deal with the language problem. For instance, rather than uttering “you are driving me mad,” I would say “I feel offended when you do that.”
Lastly, I would be mindful of the activating event. In order to minimize the debilitating emotions, I would express myself with a lot of moderation depending on the channel of communication. According to Aristotle’s concept, moderation could also mean that the emotions ought to be suited to the occasion. (Adler and Proctor 132) I would thus ensure that the occasion in place when my roommate trips on my laptop is favorable for expressing my bitter feelings to him.
The irrational fallacies that lead to debilitative emotions include the fallacy of perfection. The fallacy of perfection requires the people who accept it to handle every situation with complete confidence and skill. Tolerating the idea that it is likely to be a perfect communicator is not the best option for good communication. The fallacy makes a person have a fixed mind of not being appreciated unless he or she does something to perfection. The myth of perfection can also make one’s self esteem diminishes especially when you are not liked by the people around you.
The irrational thinking of approval focuses on the thought that it is vital to get the approval of every individual. The fallacy is not favorable as it forces the people who believe in it to go distances while seeking approval from others. The fallacy is not suitable for people with heart problems as it may lead to nervousness and embarrassment. The fallacy is irrational since it implies that others will like you only if you go out and please them.
The fallacy of shoulds refers to the inability to refer to what is right and what is wrong. The fallacy encourages foolish complaints amongst those who engage them in such kind of reasoning. The kind of irrational thinking makes believers to confuse preferences with shoulds. The fallacy of overgeneralization requires us to believe on a limited amount of evidence and exaggerate shortcomings. The fallacy can be disputed since it limits believers to put their focus on a limited type of shortcomings and forget about the difficulties encountered. (Adler and Proctor 140)
The fallacy of causation has it that the emotions results from other people’s mistakes rather than from one’s own self. The fallacy can be disputed on the basis that it causes fear of communication as communicators would not wish to create trouble to anyone. The fallacy of helplessness is based on the idea that satisfaction in life is determined by forces beyond our control. The fallacy promotes the feeling that an individual is not able to succeed in life, which is not true. One is capable of doing many things if he or she wants.
Lastly, the fallacy of catastrophic expectations suggests to communicators that if something unpleasant can happen, then it will with no doubt happen. Fixing the mind to some bad happenings will actually lead to such occurring in our lives. The actions we do may lead to the events that we assume would take place.
In conclusion, emotions have different extent to which they hit us. Total expression of emotions is not appropriate to the communicators. Instead, we should learn to follow the guidelines that help to define and express emotions appropriately. In minimizing debilitating emotions, we ought to monitor our emotional reactions, note the event, mind what to say and reappraise our irrational beliefs.
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