Exploring Interpersonal Conversation in Terms of John Stewart’s Views

Interpersonal communication is a vast and complex type of communication that involve five features, being unique, unmeasurable, responsive, reflective and addressable, these five attributes with interpersonal communication mixed with giving off cues and taking them in. As Stewart (2012) discusses who we are - our identities - is built in our communicating. It’s a unique way for people to actively communicate and participate in thought provoking conversations. Stewart mentions that verbal and non-verbal communication is also important and both are essential to interpersonal communication. Verbal communication is important because of how we response to situations and non-verbal is important because this type of communication involves hand gestures, eye contact, and body language. These can make a conversation less awkward when talking to someone because you’re not coming off as an emotionless robot to the other person. Interpersonal conversation is defined as the “kind of communication that happens when the people involved talk and listen in ways that maximize the presence of the personal”.

Stewart described communication through that metaphor of inhaling and exhaling. Inhaling is what they’re taking in Exhaling is what people are giving out. Stewart mentions that when we breathe, inhaling and exhaling occur naturally and the same happens when we have interpersonal conversations with someone we trust and have a strong relationship with. Inhaling involves listening and perceiving when communicating while exhaling to self-expression while being open during conversation. As Stewart states, “While we’re talking, we’re noticing how people are responding, and while we’re listening, we’re giving off mixed and primarily nonverbal cues.” This shows that inhaling is just about hearing and exhaling isn’t just about listening, it’s about being truly involved in the conversation. When we’re inhaling in the conversation we’re focusing on the topic and the emotion and when we’re exhaling in the conversation, we’re focusing on how the person is conveying and the gestures and body movements and facial expressions being conveyed in the conversation. When we do this, it lets us distinguish when it is appropriate to speak up, comfort or react basically to exhale.

When we inhale and exhale appropriately it makes us look wise instead of foolish. As Proverbs 10:14 (KJV) states, “Wise men layup knowledge: but the mouth of the foolish is near destruction.” We must understand that listening isn’t just heating what the person is saying, but also to listen while following gestures and facial expressions, like studying for a test, when we do that our way to respond will be more knowledgeable. According to Stewart, “self-disclosure is revealing to another person how you perceive and are reacting to the present situation and giving any information about yourself and your past that is relevant to an understanding of your perceptions and reactions to the present”. If we aren’t careful though, the conversations we have with others can turn negatively and we’ll be at risk of losing relationships no matter how strong they are.

I have noticed my communication skills and style, and this has helped me understand how strong my communication skills are and also weak. After taking the DISC personality test, I have realized that I am honest with others when it comes to conversations even interpersonal ones. People say that’s my strongest skill, but my weakest is probably my sensitivity and how quick I am to get upset when the conversations goes awry or is sad. I understand stand I have to work on my sensitivity in order to strengthen my communication skills.

Reference

1. Stewart, J. (2012). Bridges not walls: A book about interpersonal communication (11th ed.). New York, NY: McGraw-Hill Education. ISBN: 9780073534312.