Gender Nonconformity and Various Possibilities of Sexuality

Introduction: The Intersection of Culture and Identity

Today, my culture encourages me to see my biological sex as fundamental to my identity to a great extent. My culture “incites” others to talk about, define, and examine my sexuality.

Gender Nonconformity and Various Possibilities of Sexuality

Speaking of sexuality, I recently met a gay guy named Andrew. Some of his life experiences, particularly in terms of relational and sexual matters, differ from mine. His relationship with his mother soured when Andrew came out of the closet to her. She still believes her son would marry a girl and have children. In my relationship with my parents, we mainly argue about financial problems and housework. Thus, the reasons why we argue with our parents are different. Apart from relational issues, his sexual experiences are also different from mine. He realized he might be gay during his secondary education, leaving him to wonder if he should come out. However, I am still exploring my sexual orientation. I may be straight, lesbian, asexual, or pansexual. There are still many possibilities for me to consider. Andrew is fortunate to realize he is gay, allowing him to make friends with other gay individuals and potentially fall in love with them. But I don't mind having a fluid sense of identity.

The Teenage Journey of Self-Discovery

On the other hand, it is similar in that we both have been concerned about our sexual orientation. It is common for teenagers to wonder about their sexuality. More and more teens question their gender identity and their sexuality. Some may even describe themselves as being fluid. As adolescents are curious about the world and society, it is not uncommon to be puzzled about who they hope to be and who they desire to love. Furthermore, I once revealed to my dad that I might be a lesbian, which led to an angry argument because he could not accept it. Personally, I haven't known who I will love, as I tend to embrace more possibilities. As a result, I believe that Andrew and his mother should not have been angry with each other's opinions. Not every fact aligns with social and gender norms. There are several ways I can help young kids understand the various possibilities of sexuality.

The Challenges of Gender Nonconformity

I think one of the reasons why people make a big deal out of gender nonconformity is misunderstanding. Many transgender people suffer from dysphoria—a conflict between a person's physical or assigned sex and the gender with which they identify (American Psychiatric Association, 2013). However, gender nonconformity is not the same as gender dysphoria. It refers to behavior that does not match gender stereotypes. In other words, while related, gender nonconformity is distinct from gender dysphoria. Gender-nonconforming individuals may mistakenly believe they have a disorder.

The Importance of Support and Understanding

Secondly, a lack of support also causes problems for gender-nonconforming individuals. Studies show that support from others and supportive care make gender-nonconforming people less depressed and less likely to commit suicide (Ryan, Russell, Huebner, Diaz, & Sanchez, 2010). Undoubtedly, people seek support from others, especially their loved ones. When they are blocked from those they love and care for, they feel insecure and may lose themselves.

The Role of Healthcare Professionals

Thirdly, insufficient training of pediatricians and doctors leads to misunderstandings and embarrassment for gender-nonconforming kids, such as using incorrect pronouns or treating their identity as a "phase." This makes it challenging for gender-nonconforming individuals to seek professional medical help. They often don't know how to address problems when reality differs from their ideal life. Research found that the number of children and adolescents seeking help related to gender nonconformity rose from 113 to 464 during 2010-2014, while many doctors were unprepared to care for their needs (Jenco, 2018). This highlights the need for medical providers to be trained to meet the needs of gender-nonconforming individuals.

Personal Reflections on Gender Nonconformity

Meanwhile, I would feel nervous if I experienced a dissonance between my mind and body. Behaving as the opposite sex is often seen as taboo and socially inappropriate. Additionally, out of hatred for my body, my mind might start to reject everything I have done so far. This contradiction puzzles me about how to change. While understanding that we don't have to care about others' thoughts, the idea of medically transitioning with sex-change surgeries and/or hormone therapies takes time to achieve. Ultimately, I would feel empowered to change my body to align with my mind through makeup, clothing, and other means. Regardless of experiencing a dissonance between my mind and body, I am delighted to do whatever pleases me without caring about others' disdain.

Listening to Transgender Voices: Kaspar's Story

To understand transgender experiences further, we listened to a guest speaker named Kaspar. My impression of him is that he is just a normal person who underwent a few surgeries. I see nothing different between him and us, except perhaps his experiences. The stories he shared with us were quite intriguing. He mentioned that he couldn't get money back from his insurance because the form listed his sex as male, despite his HKID card indicating female. While gender matters in insurance, a transgender person may feel disrespected and find it difficult to accept that they are identified by specific body parts that limit them to their assigned sex. Another incident he shared was being asked to take pictures multiple times when traveling abroad from Hong Kong. Although it is possible to choose gender "X" to indicate a non-assigned sex identity, his HKID card still showed "F." Therefore, he suspected that the "X" designation was invalid in the system, preventing him from leaving. At that time, Hong Kong's laws regarding transgender individuals were not as advanced, and improvements were needed to align with global progress. Fortunately, his family has been supportive of his transgender journey and transition. When his father passed away in 2014, he and his mother applied for an authorization. They were confused about whether to fill in "daughter/son" and "mother." Initially, Kaspar wrote "son," then added "transgender," and finally noted "still 'F' on the HKID card" to clarify his identity. This example illustrates how annoying it can be for transgender individuals to choose their sex, as well as for others to accept their gender identity. At least in Hong Kong, the sex recognition system is outdated.

Conclusion: Embracing Identity Beyond Biology

To be honest, even when I accept transgender individuals, I don't know how to identify a person in terms of genes. But it is not a big deal as long as we can view a person based on who they aspire to be. Kaspar shared a comic that equates "I want to be a girl/boy" with "I want to be intelligent/smart/fit." This perspective reflects how we should think about transgender individuals—their desires are just normal dreams.

References

• American Psychiatric Association. (2013). Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders (5th ed.).
• Ryan, C., Russell, S. T., Huebner, D., Diaz, R., & Sanchez, J. (2010). Family acceptance in adolescence and the health of LGBT young adults. Journal of Child and Adolescent Psychiatric Nursing, 23(4), 205-213.
• Jenco, M. (2018). Training needed to meet needs of gender-nonconforming youths. AAP News. Retrieved from https://www.aappublications.org/news/2018/01/24/gender012418