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Gun Violence in The United States

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Words: 773 |

Pages: 2|

4 min read

Published: Apr 29, 2022

Essay grade:
Satisfactory
arrow downward Read Review

See expert comments

Words: 773|Pages: 2|4 min read

Published: Apr 29, 2022

Essay grade:
Satisfactory
arrow downward Read Review

See expert comments

The United States is the country with the largest number of guns in the world, and the per capita gun ratio is increasing. Despite the public’s concern about the threat of gun violence, many people have purchased guns for self-protection, but the proliferation of guns has increasingly become an important driver of violent crimeThe verb "has" should be changed to "have" to agree with the plural subject "proliferation of guns." Additionally, the sentence is a bit awkwardly phrased, and it might be clearer to rephrase it as "Despite public concern about the threat of gun violence, many people have purchased guns for self-protection, but the increasing number of guns has become a major contributor to violent crime."

Close Comments. Many people are injured and even die. Although some survivors have survived the gun violence, this will not only leave scars on them but also leave trauma in their hearts. “In 2008, 510 people were murdered in Chicago. Eighty percent of the victims were killed by gunfire. Nearly half are between the ages of 10 and 25, and the vast majority are men" (Ander, Cook, Ludwig, and Pollack). In these cases, the prevalence of young men and guns is not unique to Chicago. Gun violence has occurred elsewhere in the United StatesThe sentence could be strengthened with additional evidence or explanation. For example, the author could provide statistics or discuss the broader trend of gun violence among young men in the United States.

Close Comments. The tragedy in Newtown, Connecticut, on December 14, 2012, drew attention to gun violence in the United States. Twenty-seven people were killed, most of them elementary school students and their teachers. It was the deadliest school shooting at an elementary or high school in U.S. history (Rapp). Why has the issue of gun violence remained unresolved in the us?

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Some extreme gun opponents believe that the government should stop selling guns to citizens to reduce gun violenceThe sentence is overly simplistic and does not accurately reflect the range of opinions on gun control. Additionally, the proposed solution of raising the age of buying guns to 60 seems arbitrary and does not address other factors that contribute to gun violence, such as mental health, access to firearms, and systemic inequalities. The essay would benefit from a more nuanced discussion of these issues and consideration of alternative solutions.

Close Comments. On the contrary, some people who support gun ownership claim that they only buy guns to protect themselves. Therefore, in order to solve the problem of gun violence, I think the most effective way is to increase the age of buying guns to 60, so that people can protect their personal safety when they are too old to face dangerous resistance like young people,and reduce the shooting violence caused by emotional loss.

There is no denying that gun violence has always been a problem in the United States, and there is no good solution to it today. There was a Brady act that, as a temporary measure, required importers, manufacturers or dealers of licensed firearms to wait five days before selling, delivering or transferring handguns to unlicensed individualsThe reference to the Brady Act is confusing and unclear. The essay should provide more context and explanation of the act and its relevance to the problem of gun violence.

Close Comments. This waiting period allows the police to do a background check on the buyer to see if he or she has a criminal record and a history of mental illness. Unfortunately, however, the provisional provisions of the Brady Act entered into force on 28 February 1994 and ceased to be in use on 30 November 1998The sentence could be rephrased for clarity as "Unfortunately, the temporary provisions of the Brady Act, which required a waiting period for handgun purchases, were in effect from February 28, 1994, until November 30, 1998."

Close Comments (Brady).

In addition, more and more school gun violence has occurred in the United States. For example, in April 2007, before the 23-year-old Seung-Hui Cho committed suicide, 32 people were killed in the Virginia Tech and State University campuses in BlacksburgThe reference to the Virginia Tech shooting is disconnected from the rest of the essay and does not contribute to the argument for raising the age of buying guns. The essay would benefit from more focus and coherence in the discussion of gun violence and its solutions.

Close Comments, Virginia. The shooting violent incident was the violent act of the deadliest shooting in American history. It is undeniable that Seung-Hui Cho bought a bill for his sins, but he is still sinful and cannot be forgivenThe sentence is insensitive and inappropriate. The essay should avoid making judgments or comments on the mental state or morality of individuals involved in gun violence.

Close Comments. And this incident has destroyed the happiness of many families. For these victims, they are innocently deprived of the power of life by a selfish person. This is undoubtedly the most serious blow to their parents. The survivors said that this incident would leave them with a nightmare-like shadow. This has also had a tremendous impact on American society, and people are therefore thinking about the severity of the slack in gun management.

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I think the most effective way to reduce the problem of gun violence is to raise the age of buying guns to 60. This solution has many key advantages. The first advantage is that this method can protect the personal safety of the elderly. The physical condition of the elderly is no longer as strong as that of young people, and because of the sparsely populated area of the United States and the lack of police force, the victims cannot be protected for the first time. Therefore, in many cases, the elderly cannot resist. Allowing them to hold guns can protect them in the event of an emergency. The second advantage is that this method can effectively reduce the number of guns. Because most teenagers or young people have no way to hold a gun. When the number of guns is reduced, the probability of a shooting case is reduced. The third advantage is that it can effectively avoid shooting violence between young people due to mouth problems or emotional out of control. Because young people have a bad temper and their ideas are not mature enough. So many young people are hot when they make decisions, but they regret it afterwards. It is a pity that regret is useless in the case of depriving others of their lives.

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This essay was graded by
Dr. Oliver Johnson
Essay’s grade:
Satisfactory
What’s grading
minus plus
Expert Review
The essay on "Gun Violence in The United States" discusses the issue of gun violence, the reasons behind it, and possible solutions to reduce it. However, the essay lacks proper organization and structure, which makes it difficult to follow. The essay also lacks clear focus and has some grammar and sentence structure issues. There is an overuse of direct quotes without proper citation, which can result in plagiarism. The essay would benefit from a clear thesis statement and more cohesive paragraphs.
minus plus
What can be improved
The essay on "Gun Violence in The United States" needs improvement in several areas. Firstly, the essay lacks a clear introduction and thesis statement that would inform the reader about the main focus of the essay. The essay needs to be better structured with clear and concise paragraphs, which would help the reader follow the flow of ideas. The essay also contains some grammar errors, for example, the phrase "and reduce the shooting violence caused by emotional loss" could be rephrased to "and mitigate gun violence caused by emotional distress."Additionally, there is an over-reliance on direct quotes without proper citation, which can lead to plagiarism. For example, the quote "In 2008, 510 people were murdered in Chicago..." needs proper citation to avoid plagiarism. The essay would benefit from paraphrasing and summarizing the quotes instead of relying heavily on them.Furthermore, the solution proposed in the essay, i.e., raising the age limit for gun ownership to 60, lacks proper justification and supporting evidence. The essay needs to provide more detailed and convincing arguments to support this solution. The essay also needs to consider the counterarguments to the proposed solution to make the argument more compelling.In conclusion, the essay on "Gun Violence in The United States" needs significant improvements in terms of organization, focus, sentence structure, grammar, and use of sources. The essay would benefit from a clear introduction, a well-structured body, paraphrasing and summarizing of quotes, and more detailed and convincing arguments to support the proposed solution. The essay has potential, but it needs significant revisions to achieve its intended purpose.

Cite this Essay

Gun Violence In The United States. (2022, April 29). GradesFixer. Retrieved July 20, 2024, from https://gradesfixer.com/free-essay-examples/gun-violence-in-the-united-states/
“Gun Violence In The United States.” GradesFixer, 29 Apr. 2022, gradesfixer.com/free-essay-examples/gun-violence-in-the-united-states/
Gun Violence In The United States. [online]. Available at: <https://gradesfixer.com/free-essay-examples/gun-violence-in-the-united-states/> [Accessed 20 Jul. 2024].
Gun Violence In The United States [Internet]. GradesFixer. 2022 Apr 29 [cited 2024 Jul 20]. Available from: https://gradesfixer.com/free-essay-examples/gun-violence-in-the-united-states/
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