Hard Childhood: Defeat Or Motivation

When life gets tough at home, how are you supposed to stop that from affecting the rest of your life? If it does affect other aspects of your life, how are you supposed to bounce back and deal with this adversity? After my home life was uprooted and left in shambles when I was in high school, I found particular insights into these questions. My dad had recently remarried and just as I was becoming accustomed to the change, my new stepmom left and turned our family life into shambles in the process.

For an entire school year, I let the stresses of my life at home not only affect my grades and athletics, but my overall happiness as well. I found myself dug into what felt like an unescapable hole from which not even my teachers or counselors thought I would be able to escape. Although many of us would like to avoid adversity all together, life is full of ups and downs and it is up to you on whether this adversity will be a downfall or a positive growth experience.

Life in high school can be a difficult time for anyone as it’s a time of growth from adolescence to adulthood, packed with schoolwork and college decisions, but those experiencing outside stresses such as family issues can find it overwhelming. I went to a prestigious private high school for the intention of challenging myself and preparing myself for college. To begin with, it was a very beneficial experience for me as I enjoyed the challenges and was able to finish the hours of daily homework with no issues.

However, when I reached my Sophomore year, my dad and step mom got divorced after a few short years and life at home began to change. I was not properly equipped or ready for a situation like this, and I let this negatively affect how I approached the rest of my life. Instead of focusing on my athletics and studies at school, my main focus became my life at home. I began to sacrifice my own happiness and success in order to please my dad and act like I was okay with these changes. To make matters more difficult, at the same time, the company that my dad had been trying to start up was not taking off like expected so money was tighter than ever at home.

My mind became clouded with the stresses at home that I lost focus in school and sports. I quit my baseball team and began to skip classes and homework assignments because it was easier to accept defeat than to fight through adversity. I eventually missed so many days that the principal and dean of my school called me into their office to tell me that I was on the verge of being expelled. They didn’t think that I had what it took to be successful at that school. At the time I knew I needed to make a change in my life, but I didn’t believe it was possible. The problem with adversity is that it can be extremely difficult to see it as a positive experience while you are going through it, so it may take help from an outside source to bring in a different perspective.

For me, this help came from my two-year-old half-brother, Aedan. My life radically shifted as I played in the yard with him one day during my Junior year of high school. Frustrated that he was unable to hit the ball as far as he wanted while playing baseball, he sprinted into the garage. When I turned the corner to look where he had gone, I surprisingly did not find him sulking in the corner. Instead, Aedan had already picked up his hockey stick and was happily playing hockey. Watching him easily shift to another sport without worrying about his past failure made me realize how destructive it was to dwell on the past like I had been doing.

I reflected on my life and noticed how often I made the fatal mistake of letting my anger at my problems at home control my life. That day, I created daily alerts with Aedan’s name on my phone to remind myself to live in the present and that each day is full of new opportunities. I realized that life isn’t always going to be easy, but that shouldn’t stop me from being the best that I can be. After realizing this, failures became my drive to become better instead of being inhibitors of my success. I began to take each day as a new adventure and was determined to make the most of every opportunity. With my new-found confidence and determination through my daily alerts, I worked extremely hard to bring my grades up and prove to my principal that I deserved my spot at the school.

Once I was able to stride through adversity, I was able realize that obstacles and stresses are not the end, but that they’re a time to learn. I learned that mental health and a positive outlook on life were essential to dealing with adversity. And after I finally had the right mindset, I found myself confiding in my friends and family for help through my adversities and I become closer to them than ever before. These experiences helped give me my strength and competitive advantage to make me a better, stronger equipped person. I now realize that life will have its challenges, but it’s up to me to determine how they affect me and I am ready to overcome any adversity that comes my way.