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How Challenges in My Life Affected Me

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About this sample

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Words: 573 |

Page: 1|

3 min read

Published: Jun 20, 2019

Essay grade:
Good
arrow downward Read Review

Words: 573|Page: 1|3 min read

Published: Jun 20, 2019

Essay grade:
Good
arrow downward Read Review

An old quote was passed down from my great grandmother to the rest of the family. When I was first told this quote by my father, I did learn the meaning of this quote. It was not until recent years, when I moved away from my parents in China to live with my grandparents in America, to learn “when you are facing challenge, no matter how hard it is, just gnash your teeth, and you will get it over with.”

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During my first year of middle school, I left my parents to live with my grandparents. I can still remember the day where mother’s eyes turned red when I was about to enter the airport, father tried to hug me, but, I refused because I wanted them to know that I am mature enough to handle this myself, soon, I regretted my decision.

Although it was early in the morning, the airport seemed to be already filled with people from all over the world. After I had settled down, I still had some time left. I tried to read a book I thought was interesting; however, no matter how hard I tried, I could not focus my attention on the book. As I looked around, there were children who were about my age or older with their parents, I seem to be the only kid sitting on the chair alone. It was only a few hours before I entered the plane, but I felt I had sat there alone for years when I heard the flight attendant announced that I could enter the plane. I had several experience on plane before this time, and I thought I could get it over with easily. I was wrong.

My seat was in the middle, there are two adults sat beside me, one of them seems to be a businessman, and another is a foreigner. After the plane took off, the foreigner beside me quickly fell asleep. I started to think about the things that happened in the morning, my dad’s voice, mom’s red eyes. I felt my eyes stinging, and when I rubbed them, a warm liquid washed my fingers. Tears.

It was the first time I found myself so helpless, I tried to hide my emotions, but the businessman seemed to notice. I was still having my emotional stress when a small, but clear and gentle voice began: “First time traveling alone?” I looked up, it was the businessman. “Yes sir.” I tried to not let my voice break. “You are brave, when I first travel alone I could not even open my mouth, all I want is to get it over with.” His gentle smile made me somehow forget about the sadness, we began to have conversation throughout the whole flight, and surprisingly, our conversation was interrupted by the announcement of the flight attendant to remind us that the plane was about to be landed.

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Shortly after I went out of the plane, the warm air welcomed me as well as my grandparents’ smiles. The businessman was gone, but I could still feel his warmness and gentle voice around me. While we were going to my new home, I suddenly realized the meaning of the quotes my father had told me, “When you are facing challenge, no matter how hard it is, just gnash your teeth, and you will get it over with”. This precious quote always jumps into my head every time I have a new challenge.

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This essay was graded by
Dr. Oliver Johnson
Essay’s grade:
Good
What’s grading
minus plus
Expert Review
This essay about how challenges in the author's life affected them is a decent piece of writing. The essay has a clear beginning, middle, and end, with the author sharing a quote from their great-grandmother at the start and reflecting on its meaning at the end. However, the essay lacks focus at times, with the author going off on tangents such as describing the airport and the people they saw there. Additionally, there are some grammar and sentence structure errors, such as a missing comma and awkward phrasing. The author's voice is clear and engaging, with moments of vulnerability and honesty that draw the reader in. Overall, this essay is a solid effort, but could benefit from more focus and polish.
minus plus
What can be improved
This essay about how challenges in the author's life affected them has some strengths, but also has several areas for improvement. The essay starts with a quote from the author's great-grandmother, but it is not immediately clear how this quote relates to the rest of the essay. Additionally, the author goes off on tangents describing the airport and the people they saw there, which detracts from the main focus of the essay. To improve the organization, the author could provide more context for the quote at the start and use transitions to connect the different parts of the essay. There are also some grammar and sentence structure errors, such as a missing comma in the sentence "It was only a few hours before I entered the plane, but I felt I had sat there alone for years." Additionally, some of the phrasing is awkward, such as "when I moved away from my parents in China to live with my grandparents in America, to learn." To improve the sentence structure and grammar, the author could consider revising sentences for clarity and using more varied sentence structures. On the positive side, the author's voice is clear and engaging, with moments of vulnerability and honesty that draw the reader in. The author describes their emotions and experiences with authenticity, such as the moment when they cry on the airplane and the kind businessman who helps them. To further improve the quality of the essay, the author could focus on providing more details and examples to support their points, such as how the quote from their great-grandmother applies to specific challenges they have faced. Overall, this essay has potential but could benefit from more focus, polish, and attention to grammar and sentence structure.

Cite this Essay

How Challenges in My Life Affected Me. (2019, Jun 12). GradesFixer. Retrieved May 21, 2024, from https://gradesfixer.com/free-essay-examples/how-challenges-in-my-life-affected-me/
“How Challenges in My Life Affected Me.” GradesFixer, 12 Jun. 2019, gradesfixer.com/free-essay-examples/how-challenges-in-my-life-affected-me/
How Challenges in My Life Affected Me. [online]. Available at: <https://gradesfixer.com/free-essay-examples/how-challenges-in-my-life-affected-me/> [Accessed 21 May 2024].
How Challenges in My Life Affected Me [Internet]. GradesFixer. 2019 Jun 12 [cited 2024 May 21]. Available from: https://gradesfixer.com/free-essay-examples/how-challenges-in-my-life-affected-me/
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