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About this sample
About this sample
Words: 940 |
Pages: 2|
5 min read
Published: May 14, 2021
Words: 940|Pages: 2|5 min read
Published: May 14, 2021
People often do not achieve what they want for reasons that lie in their heads. For example, excessive shyness and embarassment do not allow talking with the boss at the right time or paralyze in negotiations. Inability to defend one’s position harms not only career, but also personal life, relationships with friends and relatives. It’s well known that it’s very easy to manipulate a gentle person. Therefore, shyness in our time is perceived more as a disadvantage than a positive quality.
If you have not seriously wondered how to get rid of shyness, but do not know where to start, then first imagine how a too soft person looks from the outside. People seriously think about a problem when they are clearly shown how excessive politeness interferes at a crucial and important moment. If you watch shy guys who are trying to make friends, it turns out that they look extremely ridiculous and unattractive. And in such a situation is any person who does not know how to stop being shy, reserved and insecure. To do this, you do not have to be a guy who wants to meet a girl. Shyness can ruin any important situation for you, be it a work meeting or a friendly party. From the side it seems that shy people are nothing and they are easy to use in their interests. It is important to realize that in society they are greeted by clothing. In this case, the ability to give oneself, to arouse interest in one’s personality is implied.
At the root of self-doubt lies fear. Some people start to panic at the moment when they are asked to speak in public. There is such a strong emotion that it can literally paralyze speech, confuse. Confident people, too, experience a slight excitement when necessary to speak in public, but this is in no way comparable to those feelings experienced by timid men and women. To begin with, understand that this kind of fear will not lead to anything good. Any fear protects a person from danger, but in this case, fear is not justified and, instead of protection, gets in your way. This is the feeling that sits inside the mind and inspires you with the thought of the opinions of others. At such moments, the most unbelievable and implausible scenes of what other people can think of you may be played out in front of you. Often later it turns out that they were busy on their own and did not notice those oversights that you made.
So, we found out that the root of the problem lies in the fact that you look too closely at the opinions of other people. You are as if afraid to move so as not to hurt anyone. But, for example, when riding in a crowded bus it looks a little strange. But modern dynamic life just resembles such a bus, where many people and everybody is pushing. If you want to stop being shy, withdrawn and insecure, you need to understand that all this is just your inner feelings and experiences that have no real justification.
If you are aware of the problem and understand that you need to deal with it, then first you will have to make the first attempts. They will be the most painful, but they are necessary. This is similar to vaccination during an influenza epidemic. Unpleasant, a little painful, but sometimes vital. Therefore, if you do not know how to stop being shy about a guy or a girl, then just start making attempts to communicate. At first, they can be awkward, but each time it will turn out better. As a result, you will find that you forgot to think about how to approach a person first, how to show sympathy first, start a conversation. It will come suddenly and very soon.
A good way to get rid of shyness is with a goal setting strategy. If you really need something (especially if your future life depends on it), then you will not hesitate and doubt, you just go and ask. Or take other actions that work in your favor: start negotiating with your superiors to raise your salary, speak publicly in front of a full stadium of people, meet an interesting person, or express a long-standing sympathy to a colleague without being afraid to look ridiculous. You must clearly understand how to stop embarrassing yourself and stop thinking that others are better than you, and your fate is to stand aside and let everyone pass because you are not good enough. Other people don’t think of you like that, but you let them manipulate you if you don’t know how to set boundaries.
Words play a huge role. Start by getting rid of introductory words and inappropriate phrases in your communication. Learn to speak beautifully and confidently, attend oratory courses. Perhaps they motivate you to shine in public with the skills of confident possession of the word. You should be as polite as your normal daily life requires. Do not thank for the favor a hundred times, do not apologize for your every breath, do not sprinkle with words of politeness in dialogues with other people. Go to the point immediately after the greeting. This will begin to get rid of shyness. And remember: the main thing is to decide! After that, the process of getting rid of shyness will start itself.
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