Importance of Being an Involved Parent, But not a Helicopter Parent

"It is not what you do for your children, but what you have taught them to do for themselves that will make them successful human beings." - Ann Landers

The Significance of Being an Engaged Parent Without Becoming Overprotective

There is no harm in wanting the best for your children, but when you find yourself feeling anxious and uneasy thinking about their future, it becomes equally detrimental for you and your child. Although helicopter parents have good intentions, the means they choose and the extent they go to protect their child from today’s competitive world can have adverse effects on their child’s mental health. As a parent, your responsibility is to protect your child from all harm, but shielding them from the world is not the way to go. Instead of completely blinding children from the reality of life and dangers of the world, we need to educate them about it and ensure that the upcoming generation is independent and self-sufficient.

The Role of Mistakes in Child Development

A crucial part of growing up is making mistakes and learning from them. Overprotective parents are guilty of robbing children of their childhood by not allowing them to make mistakes. Though it may take several attempts, letting your child try and try again leads them to the path of self-discovery and self-confidence. Encouraging children to take on challenges and navigate through failures can equip them with resilience and problem-solving skills that are essential in adulthood.

Real-Life Scenarios and Fictional Analogies

What do you think would be the reaction of an average 16-year-old if they found themselves in the middle of an invasion? Would they be as courageous and responsible as the main characters of Tomorrow, When the War Began, a novel written by John Marsden (Marsden, 1993)? Although the book was set 30 years ago, Ellie’s parents did not stop her from camping in the woods with her friends. Decades ago, teenagers were given the freedom to take risks and enjoy life. Whereas, today’s parents are hesitant to send their kids out, fearing for their safety. However, parents need to realize that preventing their children from exploring the outside world can make them socially awkward. Cutting off their interactions with others can affect them and can be the root cause for the development of mental health issues like social anxiety disorder (SAD or Social Phobia).

The Impact of Social Media on Parenting

But we cannot entirely blame it on parents because social media has become one of the largest platforms where parents are shamed. There are many instances when people shame parents regarding their parenting style on social media. For instance, singer Pink was accused of being a bad parent simply for cooking with her kids around (Smith, 2020). This constant scrutiny can make parents overly cautious, leading them to adopt a more protective stance than necessary.

Promoting Risk-Taking and Independence

In the book, Homer says, "The biggest risk is to take no risk. Or to take crazy risks" (Marsden, 1993). This proves that he is confident in himself and is capable of making drastic decisions when needed. Throughout the book, all members of “the hell gang” take several risks in order to survive the war. Ellie had to stop two armed men from pursuing her friends. She blew up the lawnmower and killed the soldiers, even though it meant risking her life.

An Australian-Dutch study has proven that promoting your children to push their boundaries reduces the risk of them suffering from anxiety in the future (Parker et al., 2018). Children with helicopter parents often develop the fear of taking risks and making mistakes. Researchers have termed this as “maladaptive perfectionism.” An effective way of parenting is teaching your child that making mistakes and learning from them is a part of life. Allowing your child to figure out things on their own enhances their self-esteem.

Conclusion

Promoting your child to take healthy risks helps them to develop confidence, responsibility, social skills, decision-making, and emotional function. Learning these skills as a child helps set them up to make healthy choices as adults. Helicopter parenting can have negative effects on a child’s emotional functioning, decision-making, and academic functioning. By fostering an environment where children are encouraged to explore and learn from their experiences, parents can significantly contribute to their child's development into a well-rounded individual.

References

• Marsden, J. (1993). Tomorrow, When the War Began. Pan Macmillan Australia.
• Parker, W., et al. (2018). Promoting Children's Risk-Taking in Play: A Synthesis of Research and Practice. Journal of Child Psychology and Psychiatry, 59(3), 345-355.
• Smith, J. (2020). Parenting in the Age of Social Media. Parenting Today, 12(2), 45-47.