Love stories Are not Always About True Love

Introduction

I've always been sexually naive for a greater part of my life. I found it difficult to express my true feelings to women. About 18 months ago, I met this gorgeous girl, I fell in love with her and we started dating almost immediately. She was my first girlfriend. She was the light of my life. I treated her nicely, and we were so much in love with each other, or so I thought. Just a few months ago, she left me for another guy—a real jerk for that matter. This incident left me particularly heartbroken!

'Love Stories Are Not Always About True Love'

I was sad for some days. I felt totally cheap and worthless. However, this incident gave me an opportunity to reflect on my life. To cut a long story short, my eyes were opened and I now see the meaning of true love from a different perspective. What's the meaning of true love? Can true love be objectively defined? The answer is 'no.' When I first started dating my ex, I thought it was love at first sight. Well, it wasn't love I experienced; it was just the first stage of love probably known as infatuation! This brings us to the question: what's true love? True love is a deep affection you have for someone which cannot be explained by laws governing human behavior. It's selfless, unending, and enduring.

There's a famous text on love as a couple that says: 'If you love someone for his intelligence, it's not love but admiration. If you love someone for their beauty, it's not love, but desire. If you love someone because he's rich, that's not true love but interest. However, if you love someone without really knowing why, this is true love'. Over the past two months, I have done thorough research on 'love and relationship'. One of my findings is that there's no such thing as love at first sight! I'm sorry to burst your bubbles, but that's the fact. However, true love takes time to develop!

Most of us go through life thinking what we experience in our first year or so in a relationship is true love. On the contrary, it's infatuation and sexual attraction and these can fade over a period of time. As the bursts of sexual attraction start to fade after the first few arguments and misunderstandings, that's when true love starts to enter the picture. Also, it's at this point most couples break up their relationship due to their incompatibilities.

Elements of a Strong Relationship

To nurture love in a relationship, there need to be:

• Trust and Understanding. You must learn to understand each other and develop trust in your relationship. Without trust, your relationship is as good as dead.
• Honest and Constant Communication. When there's a gap in communication with your partner, your relationship cannot survive. Sincere communication in your relationship brings you closer to your partner.
• Tolerance and Compatibility. For a long-lasting relationship, you must ensure to be compatible with your partner and also learn to overlook his or her shortcomings.
• Sex, Romance, Love, and Intimacy. These are the cornerstone of every great relationship. Even when you think the spark is lost, you must look for ways to rekindle it.
• Forgiveness and Compassion. These will help you during difficult times. In a relationship, there are some losses and mistakes you can't fix. You must be willing to forgive and let go of past mistakes and move forward.
• A Sense of Humor and Fun. You should learn to correct each other's mistakes with love, laugh and have fun together to distract you from the rigors of life. You must ensure to spend quality time together.

Conclusion

To summarize, true love cannot be forced. It cannot be found; it appears accidentally. What you can do is to cultivate and support true love for your partner. To be happy together, both of you need to put in the effort to continue the relationship. It’s about growing together and finding new ways to appreciate each other every day.

References

1. Gottman, J. M., & Silver, N. (2015). The Seven Principles for Making Marriage Work. Harmony Books.
2. Chapman, G. (2015). The 5 Love Languages: The Secret to Love That Lasts. Northfield Publishing.
3. Perel, E. (2017). The State of Affairs: Rethinking Infidelity. Harper.
4. Fisher, H. E. (2004). Why We Love: The Nature and Chemistry of Romantic Love. Henry Holt and Company.