My Experiences in Achieving and Developing Leadership

Since the dawn of my memories, serving others have always been a part of my life. And it was especially realized after participating in the praise team of my church. During the team activities, it was common to look up to many leaders and have a good relationship with them. On the other hand, just by participating in activities did not teach me what leadership was. Thinking about being a leader and understanding their roles were not my concern at that time. However, an opportunity to experience a leadership position came. Through the election of the church high schoolers, I became a leader among the youth leaders and worship leaders. Without having an idea of leadership and making numerous mistakes, I thought leadership was an innate ability.

Eventually, I discovered that authentic leadership is not given but is a nurtured ability developed from experiences, enduring nervousness, and receiving feedbacks from others. This opportunity was one of my first experiences as a leader and it was to lead the youth service. The position required making decisions for high school church events, such as Teacher’s Day, Christmas and New Year’s Day, were on my shoulders. Also during the events, being the main host and continuously asking questions to the audiences to make them engage in the events were another burdens. Last but not least, creating and maintaining a positive atmosphere in the church was crucial. Basically, every single word or behavior from me would influence the entire group. Knowing the fact that everything mattered and everything was under my control, I tried to reduce possible risks and variables by asking help from former leaders, receiving feedbacks from the praise team members and so on. Unfortunately, not everything went as planned and even if they did, the process was so stressful that it would lead to things such as hair loss.

For instance, before hosting an event, it was me that always wrote the script. Most of the events ended successfully but writing scripts that the audiences would like put pressure on me. Furthermore, bigger agitations started to approach me from the experience of being a worship leader. Like most leader positions, there is a duty to speaking in public. And like most people, public speaking is one of my phobias. Despite of having such phobia, communicating with the audience and performing music on stage in front of everyone became a common duty. Normally, nervousness engulfed me when imagining about my reputation from others. As these frustrating thoughts were haunting my head, suddenly, I recognized that there were no reasons to think about what others thought about me. After conceiving this fact, I did whatever I wanted. Not simply being a hardhead, I asked former leaders for different pieces of advice and questions to be a better leader aided me the most. Usually, the questions were about details of the service and how it operated.

As if to betray one's expectations, the feedbacks were not always positive. But there was no time for grief. I needed to be prepared so I tried to understand the problem and fixed it one by one. The renovation did not take place as quickly as expected. Slow adjustments were made to prevent making various mistakes. It was more important not to make the same mistakes than to complete the task quicker. By gradually fixing errors, I found out that asking for advice was successful. Some teachers came to me and thanked me for the gracious service. What they expressed to me was something significantly beyond words. While knowing that the person leading the service in front creates the atmosphere, I became braver and more initiative than before. Nowadays, I can freely give short lectures about the Bible in front of people with confidence.

Of course, I'm nervous, but I know that the nervousness is something that I cannot control but just a natural concern. My next goal is to give advice and explaining my experience to people who are having a same problems that I had. Realizing the fact that leadership is achieved through practice, not necessarily inherited, I also learned that nothing can be achieved without an effort.