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My Most Embarrassing Moment

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Words: 462 |

Page: 1|

3 min read

Published: May 19, 2020

Essay grade:
Good
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Words: 462|Page: 1|3 min read

Published: May 19, 2020

Essay grade:
Good
arrow downward Read Review

See expert comments

I really did not know what to write about, but I was reminded this morning as I stopped to fuel the car up, of one of my most embarrassing moments since I moved back “home”.The sentence is a bit clunky and could be rewritten to be more concise, such as "I wasn't sure what to write about until this morning, when a memory of one of my most embarrassing moments came back to me." Additionally, the phrase "since I moved back 'home'" is a bit confusing without context, and could be clarified with a brief explanation.

Close Comments It was an early morning and I was off to drop my lady at work. I had only jumped out to get some milk and since I had chosen a time when all the convenience stores were closed, I had to go into the gas station to buy some.The phrase "since I had chosen a time" could be rewritten as "because I had chosen a time."

Close Comments After leaving the gas station, I jumped into the car and instantly felt there was something was off.The sentence is repetitive and could be condensed to "After leaving the gas station, I immediately felt something was off."

Close Comments A lady’s voice said, “Hello there”. From I heard the voice, it convinced me that something wasn’t right.The sentence should be rewritten as "As soon as I heard the voice, I knew something wasn't right."

Close Comments But for some reason my instant reaction was to sit quietly behind the wheel of the car and pretend it was all a dream.The phrase could be simplified as "My initial reaction was to sit quietly and pretend it was a dream."

Close Comments The moment felt like hours, although I knew it was only for a few seconds.

'Why Violent Video Games Shouldn't Be Banned'?

Finally, I looked to my right and there sat a really smiley lady with a distinct look of “yeah umm, why you in my car?The phrase "there sat a really smiley lady" is a bit awkward and could be rewritten as "a lady with a big smile."

Close Comments? But also with a smirk as if she was trying to hold in a laugh. I said quietly under my breathe, “Hi. I’m in the wrong car aren’t I? ” I confirmed this when I looked to the car to my left and my lady friend was sitting staring at me with the window down. When we caught eyes both of us burst into laughter. I turned back to the lady and said “At least tell me it’s the same model and color of my car”, I pleaded with the lady who by now was really struggling not to become hysterical with laughter.The phrase "I turned back to the lady" is a bit repetitive and could be changed to "I turned to her."

Close Comments I think now is the time for me to add that I was wearing my pajama bottoms. I got out of the car and stood back to see that I had in fact got into a red Infiniti G37, which was parked next to my grey Honda accord.

What made the moment even more embarrassing was that her sister came at the same time I was getting out of the car.The sentence could be simplified to "To make things worse, her sister arrived just as I was getting out of the car."

Close Comments She immediately caught on and was helpless with laughter I thought things couldn’t get any worse until I spotted all the gas station staff had witnessed the whole event and were also enjoying my embarrassment to the full. Never has a walk to my car felt so long and was only a few steps away.The sentence should be rewritten as "I've never felt a short walk to my car so long."

Close Comments The walk of shame has no limits and does not discriminate.The phrase is a bit dramatic and could be changed to "It was a walk of shame that anyone could relate to."

Close Comments I only wanted some milk for my cereal. It was supposed to be a quick in and out and no-one would notice the PJ’s, since it was still dark.The sentence could be simplified as "I thought it would be a quick trip, and no one would notice my Superman pajamas in the dark."

Close Comments The worst part? They were Superman pajamas… I was 26.

Works Cited

  1. DeMello, M. (2017). Embarrassment. In Encyclopedia of Human Behavior (2nd ed., Vol. 2, pp. 308-311). Elsevier. https://doi.org/10.1016/B978-0-12-805302-3.10761-3
  2. Goffman, E. (1967). Interaction ritual: Essays on face-to-face behavior. Anchor Books.
  3. Jaffe, J., & Hyde, J. S. (2000). Gender differences in moral orientation: A meta-analysis. Psychological Bulletin, 126(5), 703-726.
  4. Keltner, D., & Anderson, C. (2000). Saving face for Darwin: The functions and uses of embarrassment. Current Directions in Psychological Science, 9(6), 187-192. https://doi.org/10.1111/1467-8721.00096
  5. Kleinke, C. L., Meeker, F. B., & Gwynn, M. (1996). The effects of embarrassment and guilt on eyewitness testimony. Journal of Social Behavior and Personality, 11(4), 35-50.
  6. Lewis, M. (2003). Self-conscious emotions: Embarrassment, pride, shame, and guilt. In M. Lewis & J. M. Haviland-Jones (Eds.), Handbook of emotions (2nd ed., pp. 623-636). The Guilford Press.
  7. Price, J. (2016). Embarrassment and social anxiety. In P. G. Overton & E. R. D. Scherer (Eds.), The Oxford Handbook of Emotion, Social Cognition, and Problem Solving in Adulthood (pp. 240-252). Oxford University Press. https://doi.org/10.1093/oxfordhb/9780199899462.013.20
  8. Sabini, J., & Silver, M. (2005). What is embarrassing about embarrassing disclosures?. Journal of Social Behavior and Personality, 17(2), 271-280.
  9. Schlenker, B. R. (1980). Impression management: The self-concept, social identity, and interpersonal relations. Brooks/Cole Pub. Co.
  10. Tracy, J. L., & Robins, R. W. (2006). Appraisal antecedents of shame and guilt: Support for a theoretical model. Personality and Social Psychology Bulletin, 32(10), 1339-1351.
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This essay was graded by
Dr. Oliver Johnson
Essay’s grade:
Good
What’s grading
minus plus
Expert Review
The essay "My Most Embarrassing Moment" is a concise and entertaining piece of writing that tells a personal anecdote in an engaging way. The organization is clear and easy to follow, with a clear introduction, middle, and conclusion. The essay is written in a clear and straightforward style, with good use of descriptive language and humor to bring the story to life. The writer's voice is engaging and relatable. The sentence structure and grammar are generally correct, although there are a few minor errors.
minus plus
What can be improved
The essay "My Most Embarrassing Moment" tells a personal anecdote about an embarrassing experience the writer had when they accidentally got into the wrong car at a gas station. The essay is well-organized, with a clear introduction that sets up the story and a satisfying conclusion that brings it to a close. However, there are a few shortcomings in the essay that could be improved. Firstly, the essay lacks a clear thesis statement that would give the reader a sense of what the essay is trying to achieve. A thesis statement could help to focus the essay and make it more cohesive. Secondly, the writer could improve the sentence structure by varying the length and structure of their sentences. For example, in the following sentence, the writer uses a repetitive structure that makes the sentence feel clunky: "What made the moment even more embarrassing was that her sister came at the same time I was getting out of the car." The writer could rephrase this sentence to make it flow more smoothly. Lastly, the essay contains a few minor errors in grammar and punctuation, such as the use of "was convinced me" instead of "convinced me that". These errors do not detract significantly from the essay, but they could be corrected to improve the overall quality of the writing. To improve the quality of the essay, the writer could focus on developing a clear thesis statement and varying the sentence structure. They could also take the time to proofread the essay carefully for errors in grammar and punctuation.

Cite this Essay

My Most Embarrassing Moment. (2020, May 19). GradesFixer. Retrieved March 19, 2024, from https://gradesfixer.com/free-essay-examples/my-most-embarrassing-moment/
“My Most Embarrassing Moment.” GradesFixer, 19 May 2020, gradesfixer.com/free-essay-examples/my-most-embarrassing-moment/
My Most Embarrassing Moment. [online]. Available at: <https://gradesfixer.com/free-essay-examples/my-most-embarrassing-moment/> [Accessed 19 Mar. 2024].
My Most Embarrassing Moment [Internet]. GradesFixer. 2020 May 19 [cited 2024 Mar 19]. Available from: https://gradesfixer.com/free-essay-examples/my-most-embarrassing-moment/
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