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My Perseverance Through The Difficulties in My Education and Life

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About this sample

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Words: 617 |

Page: 1|

4 min read

Published: Aug 10, 2018

Essay grade:
Good
arrow downward Read Review

Words: 617|Page: 1|4 min read

Published: Aug 10, 2018

Essay grade:
Good
arrow downward Read Review

“Weather 72, or 88. 44 or 68. We will not let exam results decide our fate”. Spoken Words artist Suli Breaks seamlessly illustrates the tug of war game that is my life. Somehow we’ve come to believe that we’re only as good as the number that defines us. The prevalence of rank and GPA have altered society-possibly for the worst, and therein lays the origin of my difficulties. Ever since 9th grade, I’ve constantly been pressured by my parents to do well in school.

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For them, it seems there’s no grade other than a 97, or higher, and there’s no SAT score other than a 2400. While I realize that it’s reasonable for parents to have high expectations, I find it bothersome that, so often, they are so unwilling to understand the circumstances. This pressure creates a really stressful environment that makes it even more difficult to perform well in. Seldom do they recognize my actual achievements- they’re quite literally looking for perfection at times. This constant demand for excellence diminishes their appreciation for what I actually do well in.

The most difficult part, is that they continue to reiterate that I shouldn’t be stressed and I need to relax. The only problem is, they don’t realize that they are precisely the ones causing the stress. In 7th grade, they would constantly remind me that my math and foreign language grades would be present on the transcript.

They demanded excellent grades and looked down upon anything lower than a 93. In 8th grade, they repeated the process, continuously emphasizing the importance of having excellent grades and college transcripts. In 9th grade, they began these long lectures on how the next 3 years would be the most important of my life. I realized the importance on the stage in life I was approaching, but it seemed that every day, I would get a lecture about performing well in school and demanding that I remain consistent with good grades.

Even though I was only in 9th grade, they frowned upon my 1850 SAT score; they claimed I wasn’t dedicated; they claimed I didn’t care; they claimed I never tried. They were always wrong. My parents never seemed to realize how big of a toll their words really had on me. In 10th grade, it become unbearable. I got “talks” everyday about the high standards that were set for me. When I came back from debate tournaments, just wanting to be excited about my second place trophy, my dad would enlighten me by suggesting that I should work on the SAT just as hard as I work on debate.

My parents consistently fail to realize how hard I truly work. This pervasive conflict has wormed its way into nearly every aspect of my life. This is me, remembering my difficulties. This is me, realizing that no- the way my parents, and to a further extent society, has modeled education is wrong. This is me, dealing with my difficulties and persevering through my parent’s constant annoyance. This is me, standing here today, holding my Harvard University acceptance letter, ready to prove my parents wrong.

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This is my happy ending, because the difficulties my parents presented to me only made my resolve stronger to not only be successful, but to merely prove them wrong. In the words of Suli Breaks, “So this one is for my generation, the ones who found what they were looking for on Google, the ones who followed their dreams on Twitter, pictured their future on Instagram, accepted destiny on Facebook. This one's for my "failures" and "dropouts", for my unemployed graduates, my shop assistants, cleaners and cashiers with bigger dreams, my self-employed entrepreneurs, my world-changers and my dream-chasers.

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This essay was graded by
Dr. Oliver Johnson
Essay’s grade:
Good
What’s grading
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Expert Review
The essay explores the author's struggles with meeting their parent's high expectations for academic achievement. The focus of the essay is clear, and the author does a good job of illustrating the impact of their parent's pressure on their mental health and academic performance. The essay's organization is generally good, with a clear introduction, body, and conclusion. The author uses a conversational tone that engages the reader and makes the essay relatable. However, there are several areas where the essay could be improved. First, the author's sentence structure is often repetitive and could benefit from more varied syntax. Second, the author uses the word "difficulties" frequently throughout the essay and could benefit from using synonyms to keep the writing fresh. Finally, the essay would benefit from a more detailed exploration of how the author overcame their difficulties and achieved success.
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What can be improved
The essay has a clear structure, with a strong introduction that grabs the reader's attention and establishes the author's main topic. The body of the essay provides detailed examples of the author's struggles with meeting their parent's expectations, and how this affected their mental health and academic performance. The conclusion is powerful, with the author reflecting on their successes despite their difficulties. The essay's focus is clear and well-defined, with the author exploring the impact of their parent's high expectations on their mental health and academic performance. The author effectively illustrates how this pressure made it difficult for them to achieve their full potential, and how they overcame this adversity. The author's sentence structure is often repetitive and could benefit from more varied syntax. For example, in the second paragraph, the author uses the phrase "they demanded" twice in quick succession. Additionally, several paragraphs begin with the same word or phrase, such as "The most difficult part" and "Even though." The author could benefit from using more varied sentence structures to keep the writing fresh and engaging. The essay is generally well-written, with few grammar errors. However, there are a few instances where the author could benefit from proofreading for grammar and punctuation errors. For example, in the second paragraph, the author uses "literally" incorrectly, and in the third paragraph, there is a missing comma after "In 7th grade." The author uses a conversational tone that engages the reader and makes the essay relatable. The author is honest about their struggles and is not afraid to show vulnerability. However, the author could benefit from using more varied language to keep the writing fresh and engaging. Overall, the essay does a good job of exploring the impact of parental pressure on academic performance and mental health. The essay could benefit from more varied sentence structure and language, as well as a more detailed exploration of how the author overcame their difficulties. However, the essay is well-organized and engaging, and the author's conversational tone makes it relatable to readers.

Cite this Essay

My Perseverance Through the Difficulties in My Education and Life. (2018, August 03). GradesFixer. Retrieved May 30, 2024, from https://gradesfixer.com/free-essay-examples/my-perseverance-through-the-difficulties-in-my-education-and-life/
“My Perseverance Through the Difficulties in My Education and Life.” GradesFixer, 03 Aug. 2018, gradesfixer.com/free-essay-examples/my-perseverance-through-the-difficulties-in-my-education-and-life/
My Perseverance Through the Difficulties in My Education and Life. [online]. Available at: <https://gradesfixer.com/free-essay-examples/my-perseverance-through-the-difficulties-in-my-education-and-life/> [Accessed 30 May 2024].
My Perseverance Through the Difficulties in My Education and Life [Internet]. GradesFixer. 2018 Aug 03 [cited 2024 May 30]. Available from: https://gradesfixer.com/free-essay-examples/my-perseverance-through-the-difficulties-in-my-education-and-life/
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