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Choosing what parenting style, that you will practice to raise your children is one of the most important decision a parent can make. Knowing which would be the best form of style for you and your child growth and development. We will go through four different styles and what impact it has on a child throughout some of important stages of child development. We will learn what kind of impact it will leave on a child though out his/her life. The purpose of this paper is to consider the different parenting styles and the impact they may have on child development.
“The reality is that most of us communicate the same way that we grew up. That communication style becomes our normal way of dealing with issues, our blueprint for communication. It’s what we know and pass on to our own children. We either become our childhood or we make a conscious choice to change it.” -Kristen Crockett
Parenting is one of the complex tasks every parent hopes to succeed in. For all social and educational development, the family and parenting style plays an important role (Kordi & Baharudin, 2010). The argument in hand is the importance of people knowing the parenting styles and how they are defined, because of the impact it has on child development; how it effects their child’s life, behavioral problems, and roles of parents in the eyes of children.
Getting a good look at these parenting styles, the first is Authoritarian which is the parenting style, where the parents have extreme high exception of their children and very strict with the rules and hard punishments as discipline. They are known for giving out tuff love. Then we have Authoritative, which is close to authoritarian but with less exceptions and instead of being because these are the rule follow them, authoritative tend to more explain my they must follow the rules and what will happen if they do not. They also good for living as an example. Permissive is a type of parenting where the parents do not give discipline out when the child are breaking the rules. Unless it is a serious matter then the parents will step in and give a discipline action. Finally, the Uninvolved style. This is known more and the style that can become easily neglectful. Meeting what the children needs is something that the parents think that the children should do for themselves.
The important stages of child development are grouped up into four different stages. Infants which range from birth to two years of age, toddlers with an age range of two thought five years of age, children of school age whom are between ages six to twelve and adolescent that rang between thirteen thru eighteen. Now stage of development will have different changes though the child brain. In fact, according to variety of studies the human brain is not fully developed until adulthood within the age range of twenty-five and thirty. So, though out each development stage that the brain learning, we as parents are setting structures of emotional, social, educational and behavioral markers.
Emotional impact of what a child perceives growing up, is mostly going to imprint and shape who the child going to be as an adult. Children who are grown up in an uninvolved environment are most likely to have anger problems and have a higher rate of emotional distress due to the neglect that falls with this type of parenting style. Boskic stated that these children “are usually easily frustrated and they tend to not achieve” (2010), and “they tend to not be nurturing and supported” (2010). In some extreme cases, there are serious neglect to where the child is removed from home due to the neglect that is accord. Even though this type of style is talked about less in the studies, the name seems to fit the style. You could imagine the emotional, educational and social struggle that a child could go through with this type of parenting style.
Permissive is another style that is talked less about in studies, but still very important. This kind of style promotes the saying “kids will be kids”. With little to no kind of discipline, the children are known to be more insecure because of boundaries not being set and guidance not being give. Baumrind, describes permissive parents as ” more responsive than they are demanding. They are nontraditional and lenient, do not require mature behavior, allow considerable self-regulation, and avoid confrontation.”(1967). She also tells us that the child often has problems with emotion regulation, rebellious and defiant, low persistence to challenging tasks, and antisocial behaviors (1966). This be a result of parents trying to be more of a friend to the child rather than an authority figure
The Authoritarian parent very loving, very involved and very strict kind of style. Children that have grown up with this type of parenting, are very known to stick with the rules. Lots of studies have shown that this type of parenting style show the most success in the educational department though, and in their career as adults. They have a higher rating to achieving their goals in life. Very social with peers due to the well held standard hanging above their heads by their parents. Emotionally children who are raised in this type of environment have an extreme higher risk of anxious, withdrawn, and unhappy disposition, poor reactions to frustration for example: girls are particularly likely to give up and boys become especially hostile (Baumrind,1966).
Research has shown that Authoritative style is the healthiest and the most emotionally adjusted for children and adults (Boskic, 2010). Children grown up in this setting are often good at making decisions and knowing about the environment around them. Baumrind describe the children who have grown up in this type of parting style are lively, happy disposition self-confident about ability to master tasks, well developed emotion regulation, developed social skills and less rigid about gender-typed traits, for example: sensitivity in boys and independence in girls (1966). This method educational wise is “favored” and “scholars contended would lead children to become autonomous, achievement-oriented, and self-controlled (Park, Kim, Chiang & M. Ju, 2010).” (Kirdi,& Baharudin, 2010).
Behavioral problems such as handling stress, self-esteem and drinking and drugs are and issue as children reach more the adolescent stage. This development is hard on children alone, much less add to the pressure, with the environment they are raised in. Children that are raised in an uninvolved and permissive style are at the highest risk of behavioral problems. These children are more likely to likely to engage in antisocial activities such as drinking and drugs, vandalism, and any types of gangs. Both styles are also likely to have low-self-esteem and depression. They tend to act out more, for a attempt of any form of attention form their parents.
Authoritative parenting is associated with higher self-esteem and subjective well- being and lower odds of smoking, getting into fights, or having friends who use drugs (Chan & Koo, 2010). Even though authoritarian styles the children may have low self-esteem, they are less likely to engage in antisocial behaviors then most other forms of parenting styles; Greening, Stoppelbein, and Luebbe findings are that, these children are most likely to be depressed and self-destructive behaviors. This is due to the high-demands of the child restrictions, inflexible limit setting and demands for obedience (2010). The inability to learn to cope with stress can be in that type of environment. Too much pressure that is weighed down on a mind that has still not fully developed.
A study done by Combs and Landsverk showed that parenting style appears to influence the extent to which adolescents use substances. The one who were less likely to drink and use other drugs, have more of an emotionally close relationship with their farther, receive advice and guidance from their mothers, and are expected to comply with conduct rules. When the parents set clear behavioral limits, and maintain a healthy relationship with their children (1988).
Going through each parting styles, we can see the impact of how a child has on what style we choose to use as we raise them. With some being more positive than others and some being negative. Authoritarian and authoritative being the main two that go head to head in most studies, on which would be the best style to choose. Do you know which style you use? I stress the importance of getting to know each of the styles and what type of an impact, it has on children. It is easy to say that you will or do use authoritative or permissive but, it is easier to say what style, than it is to practice the style that you choose. Knowing theses impacts you could work on the style and know a head of time how to cope with impact. For example, it you are set on risen in an authoritarian style, you can learn and teach your child coping skills for controlling and managing their stress, so they will be less emotional and behavioral problems.
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