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Right Choices: The Bridge to Success 

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Words: 868 |

Pages: 2|

5 min read

Published: Apr 8, 2022

Essay grade:
Good
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See expert comments

Words: 868|Pages: 2|5 min read

Published: Apr 8, 2022

Essay grade:
Good
arrow downward Read Review

See expert comments

Life is like a roller coaster which has its ups and downs. From the lift hill to the first drop, it is a choice which allows an individual to enjoy the thrill along the way. Making a decision is a regular and crucial act in my daily schedule. From the clothing, I wore to school to the friends who I hang out with, all these are choices which I make.There is an issue with subject-verb agreement. Instead of saying "all these are choices which I make," it should be "all these are choices which I make."

Close Comments All these choices will either harm or benefit me in some way which teaches me the importance of making good choices. This is part of the process of learning from my mistakes, making up for them and moving on.The sentence could be revised to be more concise and clearer in its message, perhaps something like "This process allows me to learn from my mistakes and grow as an individual."

Close Comments All my choices have some sort of outcome which shapes my life and reflects 'my' identity. These choices which I make enable me to become a critical decision maker as well as a skillful individual with the potential of success. The choices I have made reflects my individuality demonstrating that making critical decisions will result in potential life success. 

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Firstly, making choices gives me the potential to become a critical decision maker. As a human, I face many challenges and obstacles which are centered around my education. I recently faced a challenge to make a choice between working in a group or individually for an assignment, leading me to be involved in a situation where I had to make a critical decision. Back in the 11th grade while preparing for a business assignment, I was required to join a group to work with making me analyze my options.It would be clearer if the writer specified what type of assignment they were working on, rather than just saying "a business assignment."

Close Comments I decided to work in a group in which everyone was able to carry their own weight and be actively engaged throughout the entire process. This decision had to be analyzed critically because if I chose to work in a group which was inattentive, that decision would play as a barrier in between a high grade and me.There is an awkward phrase in the sentence. It could be rephrased as "if I chose to work in an inattentive group, that decision would have acted as a barrier to achieving a high grade."

Close Comments My strength of critical thinking has created a brighter path for me to make a choice which will allow me to be successful academically. This is one example which shows how making decisions critically can result in success. 

Furthermore, during the summer before the commencement of the 11th grade, I chose to unenroll from the university English I was taking in summer school and take in day school instead. Many rumors were going around about day school English being tough and how it will negatively affect my average.The phrase should be revised to "Many rumors were going around about how tough day school English would be and how it would negatively affect my average."

Close Comments My choice gave me the opportunity to sit in an educational environment for a semester with all my peers and my teacher. Some of the benefits which came out of my decision were that I improved my writing skills because of feedback given by my peers and teacher.The sentence would be clearer as "One of the benefits of my decision was that I was able to improve my writing skills through feedback from my peers and teacher."

Close Comments I was also able to engage in interesting class discussions in which not only I could express my views on a topic, but also listens to the views of my classmates. These discussions were quite important in the context that they helped me during seminar presentations. This helped improve my presentation skills which are essential in post-secondary. The choice I made has boosted my confidence and increased my potential for grade 12 and post-secondary where I can accept the challenge no matter how tough the content is. Making a choice is quite difficult but through critical thinking, I was able to make the right choice. Secondly, the choices I made have enabled me to become a skillful individual with the potential for success. For instance, I made a choice to get a part-time job in the retail industry at Vaughan Mills. This choice has given me the opportunity to learn the important skills an individual requires in order to work in the real world with different people. There is a repetition of the word "learn". It could be rephrased to be more concise, such as "This choice has allowed me to develop important skills for working with diverse groups of people in the real world." Additionally, it would be more specific if the writer listed some of the skills they developed through their part-time job and working with their cousin's business.

Close Comments

I believe skills like teamwork, verbal communication and, integrity not only will help me increase my potential of success in my career but even at school, these skills are necessary to become academically successful. Furthermore, I chose to help my cousin run his business. Even though I did not play a big part in the success of his business, I learned many things which are determined to help me one day when I choose to open my business. This opportunity helped me not only increase my interest in business but rather learn important skills to work with in the business world. I learned to work under pressure and become a responsible individual while working with professionals. Learning to work under pressure is important because in the field of business, dealing with clients and deadlines is quite stressful, but being given the strength to work under any sort of pressure at an early age prepared me for a life which is going to be full of obstacles. All these skills are related to potential success in school, in pursuing a career and living a successful life.

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In conclusion, making the correct choices today reflects who I am showing that critical decisions guarantee potential life success. I have witnessed success around my education and in 'my' life. Every choice has an outcome but at the end of the day, I learn from my mistakes which are important and move on. Making a choice is easy, but it takes a critical thinker to make the ideal choice.

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This essay was graded by
Dr. Oliver Johnson
Essay’s grade:
Good
What’s grading
minus plus
Expert Review
The essay shows that the author has a solid grasp of the subject and offers insightful arguments. The organization of the essay is effective, with a clear introduction, body paragraphs, and conclusion. The author uses a variety of sentence structures and maintains a consistent tone throughout the essay. The grammar and vocabulary usage is appropriate, although there is room for improvement in some areas. Overall, the essay is well-written and effectively communicates the author's message.
minus plus
What can be improved
The essay "Right Choices: The Bridge to Success" presents a strong argument about the importance of making the right choices in life. However, there are some shortcomings that could be improved upon to enhance the quality of the essay. Firstly, there are a few instances where the author uses repetitive language, such as "make the right choices" and "wrong choices." To avoid redundancy, the author could use synonyms such as "optimal decisions" or "unwise actions." Secondly, there are some minor grammatical errors, such as a missing comma in the sentence "Making choices, and taking action are integral parts of success." To improve the essay's grammar, the author could benefit from proofreading and revising their work for errors. Lastly, while the author presents a clear argument, they could benefit from providing more concrete examples to support their claims. For instance, when the author states, "The wrong choices can lead to unfavorable consequences," they could provide a specific example to illustrate this point. To improve the quality of the essay, the author should consider incorporating more varied vocabulary and sentence structures to add depth and complexity to their writing. Additionally, the author could benefit from providing more concrete examples to support their argument. With these improvements, the essay could receive a higher grade.

Cite this Essay

Right Choices: The Bridge to Success . (2022, April 08). GradesFixer. Retrieved February 29, 2024, from https://gradesfixer.com/free-essay-examples/right-choices-the-bridge-to-success/
“Right Choices: The Bridge to Success .” GradesFixer, 08 Apr. 2022, gradesfixer.com/free-essay-examples/right-choices-the-bridge-to-success/
Right Choices: The Bridge to Success . [online]. Available at: <https://gradesfixer.com/free-essay-examples/right-choices-the-bridge-to-success/> [Accessed 29 Feb. 2024].
Right Choices: The Bridge to Success  [Internet]. GradesFixer. 2022 Apr 08 [cited 2024 Feb 29]. Available from: https://gradesfixer.com/free-essay-examples/right-choices-the-bridge-to-success/
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