Husbands that Stay at Home

Staying home husbands are rising in numbers in our generations as women now tend to earn as much or maybe even more than their husbands. According to Straits Times Singapore which sociologist Tan Ern Ser mentioned about the rising of stay home dads shows greater gender equality and also more flexible gender roles in our era by Straits Times “Mum’s at work, dad’s minding the kids” 21 June 2015 . As we move towards a new future, many people are also still being negative on the idea of a stay at home dad. People still argue that men should be the one out in the workforce earning the income for the family as men still win more promotions and usually gets more access to top leadership roles than women. Nikki Waller “How Men And Women See the Workplace Differently” 27 September 2016. In this research paper we are going to see that why more husbands are staying at home while women are out in the workforce earning the income for the family. Based on my personal feelings on this research, I feel that stay home dads actually makes a lot of difference in the family and the children themselves. As house husbands are slowly becoming a trend now a days we can see the impact that these husbands made in their families.

While society, still views the female to be the main caregiver for the child, but the trend now a days shows otherwise. These days, more males decide to put their career at stake, giving their dreams up staying back home to care for their children. One of the main reason for this trend is that women are better educated now and as a result they are more career-oriented hence, being emotionally unavailable to care for their child. Another could be, a mutual understanding between the spouses. One of the best reasons, most choose this option, is because being a stay-at-home parent allows them to directly influence the child's growth. While all other reasons seem to blur in the distance, the one that stands out most is, the tender love, care and protection meted out by a parent cannot be compared to that of a day care centre.

While the bond between a mom and a child is usually considered as the primary relationship, a stay at home dad will have an opportunity to stay home and provide necessary attention to the child which is as equally important for their social and emotional well-being. Good fathers at home can bring as much emotional balance and stability as well as mothers to their child. With the rising cost in the standards of living, one parent’s income usually cover the cost of day care alone. If the wife has to be physically present at her job and she is earning much more than her husband, it might be a better deal that the husband works from home or be a full time stay home house husband. In addition, with a current tough economy, a man who is currently unemployed and now becoming a house husband will grow to appreciate all the hard work that their wives have put in. More importantly, the option of being a full-time Dad allows you to enjoy pleasures that a child brings in and getting to be a part in the most important stages of the child’s growth. Being a full time Dad gives you the opportunity to spend more time with the child and henceforth creating beautiful memories. The amount of time spent on the child allows the Dad to inevitably become their friend and confidante. This pleasure is definitely nothing compared to the pay raise one gets at work. A quote from William Hurt, “Being a father, being a friend, those are the things that make me feel successful.” Success now has a new meaning to it!

According to People and Society Articles “Making your children your job” 31 March 2017, it tells us very clearly that more men are leaving their well-paying job to spend more time with their families. Former mediacorp artiste Gurmit Singh could not have agreed more by stating that he did not regret his decision to give up his full time entertainment job to make more time for his wife and three kids. He said, “Since leaving the station, I’ve been on six holidays with them. These gave me the chance to make up for lost time. In another article by Asia One “Super dads: Stay-at-home dads make sacrifices” 16 June 2014, Mr Lawrence Ng spoke about how he has to make a very tough decision to leave his job to provide better care for his family as his wife is undergoing depression and son is diagnosed with Autism Spectrum Disorder (ASD).

According to Ministry of Manpower’s Person outside the Labour Force 2016 report, around 9200 male Singaporeans and permanent residents cited “family reasons’ such as child care, caregiving to family members and housework as their main reason for not working in 2016, as compared to 3000 men who said they stayed home for the same reasons in 2006. Also, according to the Singapore Department of Statistics, the number of house husbands in Singapore has increased nearly seven-fold, from 553 to 3611 between 2000 and 2005. This goes to show that men are now having a totally different perspective of parenting now and they recognised the benefits that they could bring to the development of their child should they choose to stay home and take care of the family.

In an article published by Smart Parents “Dads, you have an important role to play” 18 June 2016, the writer wrote “The rise of the stay-at-home dad is sending a clear message: That parenting isn’t just the responsibility of “the wife”.” In it, it was mentioned that spending more time with Dads can help boost a child’s communication skills as dads are known to use less baby talk and more adult language. Fathers tend to bounce and tumble more with their children which in turn helps them to learn how to take risks and explore their limits.

As evolutionary psychologist Dr George Friedman says, “Men being recognised as carers and experiencing the challenge of looking after a children is a positive step.” It will still take the society some time for a mind-set change before everyone can eventually accept a working Mum and stay-at-home Dad. However, the implications of having more working wives and stay home husbands is that the husbands may experience a sense of inadequacy, failure and devaluation of masculine role when faced with the inability to provide a livelihood for his family. Working wives on the other hand will experience the hard time of reorganizing her whole schedule of activities as they exchange roles with their husbands. Being a full-time stay-at-home father is definitely not something easy but once they get the hang of it, it won't be quite a task. Besides, the only reason we should be taking up the responsibility is to keep our child away from stress and harm in his or her formative years. In conclusion, I still feel in our patriarchal society, the men’s role should be the breadwinner in the family. We still have a long way to go before men will truly accept their roles as equal childcare providers.