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About this sample
About this sample
Words: 322 |
Page: 1|
2 min read
Published: Oct 31, 2018
Words: 322|Page: 1|2 min read
Published: Oct 31, 2018
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A group of your peers is like a shield from consequencesTo improve the organization of the essay, the writer could include an introduction that establishes the main point and thesis of the analysis.
. In the short story “All Summer in a Day”, by Ray Bradbury, the students of Venus change after they commit a tragic, mob mentality act on Margot, an odd girl who has seen the sun before. Margot was originally from Earth, so she remembers what it is like to see the sun, where as the other children have lived on Venus their whole lives.
The other children are cruel and jealous of Margot in the beginning of the story. These other children act in a despicable manner to the one girl who is trying to give them better understanding of the world around themTo improve grammar, the writer could proofread for errors in subject-verb agreement, punctuation, and capitalization. Revise the sentence to "These other children act in a despicable manner towards the one girl who is trying to give them a better understanding of the world around them."
. When Margot says, “It's like a penny,” the children do not believe her, calling her a liar. This is because they are jealous of what they are not familiar with. They then proceed to lock her in a closer for their own entertainment. One student on his or her own would never do this on his or her own, but with the encourage of his classmates, it is done. Because of this Margot misses seeing the sun after many years.
When the other children have had their fun outside, they walk back into class and realize that Margot is still occupying the closet. Once they found this outThe writer could aim to use consistent verb tense.
They know shame now because of the heinous act which repercussions are not even known to the reader, however they can be imagined to be life-changingThe writer could break up longer sentences into shorter ones and revise awkward phrasing. For instance, they could revise the sentence to "Their heinous act has left them with a sense of shame and guilt, even though the full repercussions are unknown."
, “They could not meet each other's glances. Their faces were solemn and pale.” They have discovered the wrong in their ways, which is why they feel so guilty. The children have changed because before the sun's appearance, they had little respect or belief in Margot.The other children, for this reason are the main characters of this story, because they develop a new appreciation for Margot's metaphors, which they have found trueThey could also create a stronger conclusion that summarizes the key points and provides a final thought.
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