The Different Conversational Styles Between Men and Women

In explicit cultural context, men and women are known to have very different conversational styles. These styles are unique unto each person given that they are a tacit dimension comprised of many attributing aspects. However, it’s noted in this article that one of these aspects, gender, plays one of the most important roles. As a general deciding factor for approaching any situation, these two types of conversation (i.e. men’s and women’s individual styles) can effect both work and social communication in enormous ways.

According to Tannen, conversational style is a tacit dimension of communication. Influenced by multiple factors including birthplace, ethnicity, family, age, class, gender, etc. For the sake of the article, gender is the aspect featured and actually creates very distinctive styles between men and women. Men’s style of conversation in generally very confrontational and to the point, often throwing in a few jabs at the other person for a laugh. This kind of style is meant to get straight to the point of a matter and hold a place of power in the conversation. Women, on the other hand, prefer to approach conversation in a sensitive and positive way. This kind of style is to promote good relationships and often cushion the blow of any critique that may enter into the conversation. Both interesting and intelligent methods, however this may create some confusion or stir anger between genders when they enter conversation with two completely different styles of talk.

The most and important differences between men and women when asking for help or direction is likelihood and degree. Women are not only more inclined to ask for help but also to continue doing so in the same situation. One woman in medical school was known to be the most knowledgeable student in her class, but she received lower grade from her male teacher because he said she kept asking questions. This brings us to the difference with men, in which they generally refuse to ask for help because it puts them in a one-down position. Men prefer to seek out the knowledge themselves as opposed to ask another person directly for it.

Women see the benefits of their method as time saving. After all, it cuts through the process of learning how to find information, then how to find the right information in context with the situation and simply gets the exact answer they are looking for. Men on the other hand make a point that one receives more knowledge by seeking it out alone, in addition to the information you originally seek you gain more information you never knew before. Then again, while learning something new is always valuable this method may not prove prudent in certain situations. I’d much prefer to have something ask how to do CPR on me instead of playing it by ear.

As a girl who has hung around with a lot of guys, I like the style of getting straight to the point and the humor of playful quips to one another. However, sometimes the male method conversation does not provide very efficient action or information. If I were to use the male method information seeking as a leisurely practice I would probably enjoy it very much. In instances where specific information is needed, the female method of asking direct questions will ultimately serve to achieve my goals in an efficient, timely manner. And while I am an advocate for direct and non-sugar-coated talk, I do believe that certain situations need to be handled with a more feminine finesse and sensitivity.

Both methods are intriguing and provide an interesting glimpse into each gender’s overall mindset. If both genders could come together to create a mutual, equally beneficial style I think it would immediately improve not only gender relations in social context but in the work force as well.