The Role of Ideals and Beliefs in Healthy Relationship Functioning

Romantic relationships are a major part of life and can greatly influence an individual’s wellbeing and mental health. Systematic efforts by social scientists have deepened our understanding of romantic relationships, however, the degree to which romantic ideals help or hinder relationship functioning is relatively unexplored. The beliefs people hold about relationships predict how they perceive, interpret and respond to relationship events. These implicit theories of relationships (ITRs) are characterized by two distinct belief sets, termed growth beliefs and destiny beliefs. Growth beliefs assume that relationships can be maintained, and challenges can be overcome. Destiny beliefs assume that potential relationship partners are either compatible or they are not. The current essay discusses that holding growth beliefs predicts higher relationship satisfaction, maintenance and longevity than destiny beliefs. Growth theorists also interpret and respond to conflict more accurately than destiny theorists. Additionally, this essay considers how differing cultural perspectives and gender role ideologies shifts our understanding about what constitutes as healthy relationship functioning.

Romantic ideals and beliefs have found to be associated with relationship satisfaction, maintenance and longevity. In a longitudinal study, Franiuk, Cohen and Pomerantz (2004) investigated partner fit as a moderator between ITRs and various relationship variables. As finding the right person is central to destiny theories, perceived good partner fit results in high relationship satisfaction and longevity. However, strong destiny beliefs coupled with poor perceived partner fit results in lower relationship satisfaction, causing individuals to end relationships more quickly. Growth theorists however are primarily interested in developing relationships and diagnosing the status and potential success of relationships. Here, relationship satisfaction and longevity are less dependent on perceived partner fit. Instead, the higher the reported growth belief, the greater the reported use of maintenance behaviours such as positivity, openness and assurance. However, these studies only investigated one side of the relationship. Future research should examine couples to see if a dyadic analysis of relationships results in different outcomes for these relationship variables. Furthermore, Mattingly, McIntyre, Knee and Loving (2018) explored how ITRs facilitate relationship maintenance through self-expansion. The self-expansion model posits that by engaging in novel and challenging activities with their partner, individuals experience positive cognitive reorganisation of self-concept. As growth theorists are orientated towards relationship cultivation, they are more likely to seek self-expansion opportunities. Thus, promoting relationship quality, maintenance and greater levels of companionate and passionate love. However, destiny theorists are oriented towards relationship evaluation than cultivation, and therefore do not seek self-expansion opportunities.

In all, destiny theories can be detrimental as relationship functioning is dependent on perceived partner fit. On the other hand, growth theories aid healthy relationship functioning as they promote behaviours that increase relationship satisfaction, maintenance and longevity, regardless of perceived partner fit. However, researchers should take the socio-ecological environment into consideration before examining the function of ITRs. Lou and Li (2017) examined how the socio-ecological factors, such as relational mobility, influenced the function of ITRs. Relational mobility is the extent to which societies provide individuals with the chance to establish new relationships. Societies high in relational mobility, such as European Canadians, are more likely to endorse growth beliefs, are less sensitive to social rejection and engage in relationship maintenance behaviours. Therefore, holding destiny beliefs and scoring high in rejection sensitivity has shown to be maladaptive in high mobility societies. On the other hand, societies low in relational mobility such as the Hong Kong Chinese population are more likely to endorse destiny beliefs and are more sensitive to social rejection. However, as the goal of interpersonal relationships in low mobility societies is to maintain social harmony by reducing direct conflict, strong destiny beliefs and sensitivity to potential conflicts is beneficial in these societies. By using a diverse sample to examine the function of ITRs in different cultures, these studies have high external validity. In all, these findings suggest that the consequences of destiny beliefs may be less harmful in certain societies, highlighting the importance of considering socio-ecological environments when examining relationship beliefs. Romantic beliefs have also influence how individuals interpret relationship conflict.

Through an online survey, Franiuk, Shain, Bieritz & Murray (2012) found that an interaction between partner fit and relationship length predicted intimate partner violence (IPV). Holding a strong destiny theory and poor partner fit was associated with low violence early in relationships. However, this resulted in a positive association with relationship violence for those in longer relationships. This may be as individuals who hold destiny theories are constantly engaged in partner evaluation early in the relationship. However, once they are committed they use relationship-enhancing strategies to maintain their belief that their partner is their soulmate, such as holding positive illusions and easily forgiving transgressions. However, as these studies make use of self-report questionnaires, the pattern of results may be influenced by socially desirable responding. Incorporating different methodology types such as direct observation may more accurately reflect the relationship between ITRs and interpretation of conflict, as the influence of socially desirable responding may be reduced. In all, these strategies used by destiny theorists can be detrimental to healthy relationship functioning as they deny or avoid awareness of relationships problems.

One’s growth belief also predicts how relationship differences are coped with. Dovala, Hawrilenko and Cordova’s (2018) study found that growth theorists approach conflict in ways that focus on resolution and relationship development. This emphasises their underlying belief that relationship problems can be altered and managed. Additionally, Cobb, DeWall, Lambert & Fincham (2013) assert that growth theorists engage in problem-focused strategies such as active coping and positive reinterpretation of relationship events, which in turn predict lower levels of close relationship violence perpetration. Furthermore, Knee, Patrick, Vietor & Neighbours (2004) examined ITRs as moderators of the association between conflict and commitment in heterosexual couples. Researchers found that by viewing relationship conflicts as normative and as opportunities to increase understanding between partners and improve relationships, growth theorists protect relationships from the potentially negative effects of conflict. The experimental design of these studies is advantageous for the theoretical reasons of experimental control and the recruitment of couples allows am in depth study of dyadic interactions. In all, destiny beliefs predict more disengagement and avoidance coping strategies which can be detrimental to healthy relationship functioning. On the other hand, growth beliefs predict more relationship-maintaining strategies as they view conflict as opportunities for development. However, it is not only ITRs that influence interpretation of conflict, it is also important to consider romantic beliefs constructed around gender role ideology.

Benjanyan, Marshall and Ferenczi (2014) investigated how gender role ideologies were connected to anticipation of future difficulties in marriage. Researchers found that individuals with Indian heritage endorsed a more traditional gender role ideology compared to North Americans. This explains the Indians strong preference for traditional mate characteristics and greater anticipation of future difficulties in marital life. Papp, Liss, Euchull, Godfrey and Waaland-Kreutzer’s (2017) correlational study investigated the relationship between romantic beliefs among women and IPV. Researchers found a significant indirect relationship between holding romantic beliefs that endorsed romanticism, highly valuing romantic relationships and a belief that jealousy is good with higher experiences of IPV. Here, romantic beliefs were indirectly related to higher reports of physical and psychological abuse through the romanticization of controlling behaviours. However, these studies only sampled heterosexual female participants and only investigated their experiences as recipients of abuse. It would be useful to explore how men and homosexuals, both as abusers and survivors, interpret these romantic belief constructs. In all, this suggests that in seemingly positive romantic ideologies regarding gender roles can have problematic consequences.

Overall, growth beliefs are more beneficial than destiny beliefs as they promote behaviours that increase relationship satisfaction, maintenance and longevity. In addition, growth beliefs predict more relationship-maintaining coping strategies whereas destiny beliefs predict more avoidant coping strategies. However, it is important to consider socio-ecological environments as though destiny theories are detrimental in high mobility societies: they provide various advantages in low mobility societies. In addition, it is not only relationship theories that influence interpretation of conflict as certain gender role ideologies can also result in significant problematic consequences.