The Unconditional Love of Majnu and Laila

One early morning, some women were standing near a well (Persian wheel that is operated usually by draught animals like bullocks, buffaloes or camels, or by man if animals are not available), waiting for the person deputed to run the well daily, but he was seen nowhere. They had been waiting for a long time but the man didn’t appear. A certain man in rags, sitting a little far away, was staring at a beautiful girl among those ladies. In fact, that girl was his beloved and he had left his tribe and all riches for her. He used to come there daily hoping to get a glimpse of her. His beloved truly had unparalleled and matchless beauty, making all the girls of her tribe jealous of her. Her hair was midnight-black and it flowed over her shoulders. She had honey sweet lips. They were lilac soft, having a cheerful character and bubbly outlook. She had a sculpted figure which was twine-thin. Her waist was tapered and she had a burnished complexion. A pair of arched eyebrows looked down on sweeping eyelashes. Her delicate ears framed a button nose. A set of dazzling, angel-white teeth gleamed as she blew gently on her carmine-red fingernails. It was a pleasure to see her flowing, moon shadow-black hair. Her enticing, constellation-blue eyes gazed at over her puffy, heart shaped lips. Her eyes showed her soul. They were just like a deep pool of restless gold. She had a bouncy personality and a sugary voice, which everyone adored. Not content to be just another drone, she wore vibrant clothes. In short, she had all the reasons to be adored by youngsters of her tribe. Every young man of her tribe was simply ready to sacrifice everything for her. Even life was a very trivial consideration to get her.

When the sun rose and the day was getting hotter, the women were getting restless and irritated. At last one of the women suggested that beautiful girl to ask her lover to run the well for them. The girl who didn’t want to talk to him, compelled and forced by other ladies had to ask him to run the well. She went closer to him and said lovingly, “Please start running the well!” Listening the command in the sweet voice of her beloved, the young man at once came forward and started running it. The water began to flow and the women, one by one, filled their pictures and went away but the young man did not stop and continued the task assigned by her beloved. He was running the well madly having no sign of tiredness, getting perspired in sweat. The day passed but he didn’t stop. All the nearby fields got overflowed with water and the people came running towards him to stop him. They asked him if he was mad to run the well like that without any reason as all the women had already gone hours ago. One of them asked, ‘’Why are you running the well?” He replied, “My beloved asked me to do so.” They told him his beloved had gone away and he should stop now. The young man replied, “I know but she asked me to START, not to STOP.” That mad man is called Majnu in the pages of history, and that beautiful girl is remembered as Laila.

I actually heard this incident by a religious scholar fourteen years ago at Tablighi Markaz Raiwand. I don’t know whether this incident is true of false. But I do know that the greatest power known to man is that of unconditional love having some madness as well. Through the ages, mystics, sages, singers and poets have all expressed the ballad and call to love. As humans, we have searched endlessly for the experience of love through the outer senses. Great nations have come and gone under the guise of love for their people. Religions have flourished and perished while claiming the true path to love. Falling in love is an unconscious act. It, more or less, happens to us—meaning that it is not something that can be contrived. When we fall in love we generally want to be with the person with whom we are in love as often as possible. We experience heightened feelings of happiness in their presence unless, of course they don’t feel the same way, and then it might be heightened feelings of misery and longing. When the love is returned we experience feelings of bliss and renewed energy and creativity. We experience intense feelings of longing for the presence, touch, approval and reciprocal feelings from the other person. Being in love is different from just loving someone, in that loving someone and wanting the best for them and enjoying their company are feelings that are much less intense than those of being in-love. Being in love will add that extra heightened sense of well-being that brings us to our knees before its power.

Many times persons who are insecure become attracted to someone whom they feel that they need. The need is so overpowering that it brings on intense feelings of longing, though not generally the bliss that comes with falling in love. These feelings will then be expressed in terms of control and attempts to get the other to behave in ways that meet the needs of the one who wishes to control. There will be intense feelings of jealousy or even rage that accompany this need for power or control. Many have somehow come to believe that when you are in love you will be jealous. In fact this belief is so powerful that some believe it in reverse:

that if you are not jealous it must not be love. But jealousy comes from personal insecurity. As above, many who are attracted due to their need to control others are often quite jealous—but they are not in love. Many are attracted to people whom they can take care of, because taking care of others makes them feel important and needed. They may have intense feelings of need attached to a desire to rescue, but this is not being in love. Rather it has to do with deep issues of self-worth that have evolved into an identity as rescuer, or perpetual mother. Many people are attracted to those people who are popular, attractive or powerful because they think that being with that person enhances how they are viewed by others. They confuse this attraction with love because they are not aware of how confused they generally are about how one attains to self-esteem. They think that something outside of them can give them self-esteem. But being in love is not about getting someone else to fix our empty places. Rather it is about an intense desire to deeply know and be deeply present with another person.

We, the people of this planet, may have missed the simplicity of unconditional love that is an unlimited way of being. Life, through unconditional love, is a wondrous adventure that excites the very core of our being and lights our path with delight. We need power only to harm someone; otherwise love is enough to get everything done.

Lust can’t wait to get, love can’t wait to give. That’s the difference.

Love is a choice. It's an act of the will. It enables us to accept our differences within relationships and to choose to love the person when we want to lash out or withdraw instead. Love never gives up. Love cares for others more than for self. Love doesn’t want what it doesn’t have. Love doesn’t strut, doesn’t have a swelled head, doesn’t force itself on others, it isn’t always 'me first,' doesn’t fly off the handle, doesn’t keep score of the sins of others, doesn’t revel when others grovel, takes pleasure in the flowering of truth, puts up with anything, trusts God always, always looks for the best, never looks back, but keeps going to the end. Love never dies. Becoming disillusioned with sameness is part of human nature. When we like something, we want more of it and we irrationally assume that our enthusiasm should be able to sustain itself without much effort. We love to be surprised, aroused, and stimulated because it distracts us from the ordinariness of life. In fact, we are in a chronic state of wanting. The only way a relationship will last is if you see your relationship as a place that you go to give, and not a place that you go to take. The greatest single cause of poor self image is the absence of unconditional love. To be brave is to love

someone unconditionally without expecting anything in return. The only way love can last a lifetime is if it is unconditional. If it’s not making you better, it isn’t love. My faith for a better future is in the people who are turning the idea of unconditional love into a way of life. Love makes you more of who you are, not less. People grow when they are loved well. If you want to help others heal, love them without an agenda. Go and love someone exactly as they are. And then watch how quickly they transform into the greatest, truest version of themselves. When one feels seen and appreciated in their own essence, one is instantly empowered. There is only one happiness in life, to love and be loved. Many of us believe that when we give love, we are getting the love back but sometimes it’s just an illusion of what we gave them. Today’s love is simply the story of ‘break up and patch up’. Some people wear masks of lies so that they look attractive. You can’t always go by actions because some people will ACT like they love you just to get what they want from you. Real love is what you feel it. You see it, and you show it! But fake love is just made of words. It’s better not to have nobody, than to have someone who is half there, or don’t want to be with you. Now truly speaking, fake loving people don’t surprise me anymore, loyal lovers do. There are some people who come in your life pretending that they love you only because they need you. Love is not a word or a thought. It is the name for an action that breathes from its light. And is it only done outside in the light or with an inner flame illuminating love's true name? Are your actions done by remote or with soul? And when you say you love someone, does a light go inside at all?

In short, real love is the only kind of love. Restrained love, conditional love, painful love, lost love, fake love, all these represent a great illusion. You must remember, love doesn’t break your heart; your so-called ego does so. Your ego paints pictures of love that are never strong enough to withstand the truth. Of course, being in love does not guarantee that a relationship will work. Relationships require also compatibility and relationship skills on the part of both parties. But the “in love” requirement is a must. Relationships are not easy for they bring us to the deepest parts of ourselves—good, bad and ugly. Therefore, being in love must be an aspect of any healthy long term commitment and being sure that it is love, therefore, is an intensely important first step. Being deeply loved by someone gives you strength, while loving someone deeply gives you courage.

“Do not chase love, chose love. Do not demand love, share love. Do not fear love, embrace love. Do not see love, become love.”