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What leads to all of this? Positivity. It screams joy and lifts people from grief. It pushes people to success and motivates people who struggle. Positivity is a value every human should have in their life. It encourages us to say, “we can do it!”. It is an easy value to obtain but it is often overlooked. I spent most of my life disregarding a positive outlook on life. Many times, I told myself “I can not do it”, and ended up not being able to climb over that obstacle. But later in life, I realized if you believe that “you can do it” you end up being able to accomplish your goal. It gives your mind a vision of success, allowing you to see your goal as a reality. Imagine if everyone had a positive attitude and a positive perspective on life. Would there still be bullying? Would people still be questioning suicide? Would students still drop out of high school or college? I think these are all problems positivity can accomplish. This value means to me- making the best out of your day, and letting others feel that.
Throughout high school I was a varsity swimmer for Cinco Ranch High School, and a hardworking student dealing with multiple AP courses. Every single day I faced a challenge that really made me question what I was capable of. Each night I would sleep, dreading waking up at 5am or taking a difficult physics test. During swim meets, thoughts predicting me losing would already invade my head. Reminders on how I was tired, or how sore I was also crept into my mind. These thoughts effected how I performed in the pool, living up to my minds expectations. This did not only happen in the pool. During tests, it made me question whether I was prepared or smart enough. In relationships it made me question whether I was good enough. All these negative reminders floated in my mind and in the end, had a bad impact on me. I ended up losing races, failing tests, and ending relationships. I felt like a complete failure. I am not the only person that has experienced this. Negative thinking isn’t a very rare conception in our society. People are made to look for problems to criticize. Writer Nikki Sapp mentions in “How Negative Thoughts and Complaining Affect Your Brain” that “often after having a negative experience at a restaurant, or with a customer service representative at a business, a person is more apt to get online and write a terrible review”. Humans are wired to think of what they don’t have, rather than what they do have. That is why people constantly see the bulk of people buying materialistic goods that they dont need. But what does this have to do in regarding to positivity? Well, humans think of the abilities or talents that they don’t have. They disregard the many things that they do have and focus on that one missing ability. According to Susan Reyolds and Teresa Aubele Ph. D, science has proven that thinking negatively affects your mind and body.
The mind will support negative interactions in your brain, then affecting your body. They also stated that people tend to be “more depressed, die earlier, have poor performance in school or work, and have unstable relationships”. All these factors lead to an unpleasant life. This can easily be turned around with positive thinking which leads to “fulfilled lives, good relationships, a healthier body, and a longer life”. Toward the ending of high school, I noticed how my thinking was affecting my performance. Every time I thought about my insecurities and negativity about how I was not going to be able to do a task, I ended up not being able to complete it. So, I took every challenge with a new attitude. I decided to tell myself that I can do it, and it ended up resulting in me jumping over obstacles. It also motivated me to work harder during swim practice, study harder for school, and be good to other people. Having this mindset also took the fear out of my life because I believed that I could accomplish these tasks. I also took time to invest in myself by being more social and hanging out with friends more often. I was overall more satisfied with life. Other people also noticed this new positivity that I withheld. During the end of my senioryear, I had the grade of 74. 45 in AP Chem. Students needed a 75 so you would not have to take the exam. I spoke with my chemistry teacher who usually does not raise a students grade at the end of a semester. Surprisingly, she was more than happy to raise my grade toward a 75. She mentioned to me that she really appreciated how I always had a smile on my face in class, and never complained during an assignment. I always worked hard, and always left her class with a pleasant “have a nice day”. She knew I struggled with her class and rewarded me for my attitude toward the class.
This was the first time I saw that my positivity truly made my situation better. During the summer of my senior year, I was a swim coach for a team that I swam for eleven years before. I took pride in that team because I knew of the vast history and comradery it brought. I dedicated my summer to that job and put in every effort. I also loved my job to the point where it did not feel like a job. The community was wonderful, having kids excited to swim, and parents who supported the program. At swim meets there was always a smile on my face and a loud cheer. Each meet parents would email my parents commenting on how lively and supporting I was. I really started to see how my positivity not only impacted me, but others as well. Parents would always come up to me eager to talk. Kids would be excited to swim and always wanted to play. Coaching rewarded me with something way more than money. Itrewarded me with satisfaction. Many research has been done over a positive mind set. . Many studies have been conducted over groups of negative people versus groups of positive people. James Clear, a writer and creator of the Habits Academy, provides that these studies depicted positive people being overall more successful than the negative people. These people also appeared to work more diligently with a lively attitude, leaving a positive vibe in the work atmosphere. Not only did they seem to be better performing in the office, but they were better performing at life. They know how to live and enjoy a healthy life. James Clear, a behavioral psychologist, clearly states that positive thinking is “much more than just being happy or displaying an upbeat attitude. Positive thoughts can create real value in your life and help you build skills” that will benefit you in the long run.
These types of people not only worked hard, but they still enjoyed life with people they loved and made relationships. Positive people attract other people. One last reason I think positivity is so important, is because of the effect it has on otherpeople. A friend of mine, Brian Mchatton states that “When other people are positive towardsme, I feel obligated to pay it back, making it contagious. It also makes me happier and lesscantankerous, making me see the world through a better light. It makes you realize the world iswith you, not against you”. I personally did not realize my attitude towards life until another person I met introduced me to a new way of looking at things. She always looked at A half filled glass of water as“half full” rather than “half empty”. This person really impacted my life and made me see the world in a different perspective and live life a totally new way. She has really inspired me to live a better life. That is why the impact of positive people is so important. Positive people push others to become better people and realize life is not so bad. And if everyone had a positive attitude toward life, there would be less suicides, less school shootings, and more determination to push one’s self. Positivity may sound like an easy thing to obtain, but to this day it is still easily forgotten. Life is full of obstacles and downturns but through this proclaimed value, we can tackle it all. This value encourages hard work, promotes the love of life, and seeks to enlighten everyone’sday. I look up to the people that make the best out of the worst and make everyone else’s daybetter. Positivity remains the one thing I strive to uphold to this day. It changed my life for thebetter, and I hope it will do the same for others.
Although the writer has made a commendable effort to be descriptive in the first paragraph, there still are some improvements that can be made to improve the quality of the essay. For example, the hook sentence is too ambiguous and needs to be modified to something that generally alludes to the thesis statement. This should be followed by a concise introduction to an event characterized by positivity that illustrates the importance of the concept. The writer needs to change the thesis statement to something more specific. An example would be to construct a statement which discusses the events of the writer’s life which have resulted in a positive outcome from thinking positively. The evidence presented is extensive and supports the arguments of the thesis statement well. Word choice is clear but the writer needs to adopt a more formal tone. This can be done by presenting evidence and reducing the use of first person and replacing it with strong examples which illustrate the importance of the concept. There are problems in sentence construction which need to be corrected to improve readability of the essay. Moreover, the organization of the essay needs improvement. This can be done by adding subheadings and by making sure that each paragraph elaborates on only one point.
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