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Who Am I?

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About this sample

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Words: 512 |

Page: 1|

3 min read

Published: Apr 11, 2019

Essay grade:
Good
arrow downward Read Review

Words: 512|Page: 1|3 min read

Published: Apr 11, 2019

Essay grade:
Good
arrow downward Read Review

I am Isha and there are three words that describe me the best- true free spirit. I am fiercely independent and I always crave for creativity and freedom. I really enjoy spending time with others. I am always enthusiastic about developing new ideas and meeting new people. One of my best qualities is that, I am perfectly capable of switching from a hardworking individual in a work setting to a free spirited, Imaginative person in a creative setting. I also have a wide range of interests and I love engage in different types of hobbies. According to me, Happiness and interests are very important and I feel one must not sacrifice either of them. Apart from empathetic, I am very expressive. I speak my heart and express myself exactly as I feel. Monotonous and mundane are two words that do not exist in my dictionary, for the past 18 years I’ve lived a life full of excitement and have explored distinguished areas of interest. I can cope with stress very well as I’ve devised ways of beating my own stress.

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I belong to a very compassionate family whose members are very supportive and open minded. For me, my family and values hold a lot of importance and influence most of my decisions. A lot of my peers have complimented me for my infectious enthusiasm and I too find it as one of my greatest positive traits. I value relationships to a great extent, son friendships hold a huge place in my life. It is easy for me to get people out of their shells and make them comfortable in my presence. Probably because of this, I have a huge circle of friends with varying backgrounds. There is a quote I swear by- "Never sacrifice these three things: Your family, your heart or your dignity." I fiercely protect my self-respect and would never indulge in situations that have the capability of jeopardizing it.

When it comes to interests, I have a strong inclination towards reading and writing. Through books, one gets the opportunity of living multiple lives. Through writing, one gets the opportunity of creating things that they wished could've existed. I write and read whenever I have free time. I write because I need an outlet for my overflowing excitement and imagination. Though, I don’t consider myself to be very experienced and amazing at what I write but as long as I am following my heart, I have no issues.

I am also really passionate about psychology. I was first introduced to psychology in 11th grade and over the course of two years I've seen many positive changes in my own self because of the subject. I've always been an academically bright student. My application for a Bachelor's program in Psychology was accepted at University Of British Columbia, CA, a rank 18 university in the world but due to certain personal reasons I decided to reject their admission offer.

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All in all, I am a dreamer. My dreams and aspirations drive my life and these aspirations are the possibilities of my better and brighter future.

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This essay was graded by
Dr. Oliver Johnson
Essay’s grade:
Good
What’s grading
minus plus
Expert Review
This essay does a good job of describing the author's personality, interests, and values. The sentences are generally clear and easy to understand, and the writer's voice is engaging. However, there is room for improvement in terms of organization and focus. The essay jumps around a bit between different topics, such as the author's personality traits, interests, and family, without a clear overall structure or thesis statement. Additionally, there are some errors in grammar and word choice that could be corrected.
minus plus
What can be improved
While this essay has some strong points, there are a few areas that could be improved. Firstly, the essay lacks a clear structure or thesis statement. The author jumps around between different topics without a clear sense of how they are related. For example, the author starts by describing their personality traits, but then shifts to discussing their family and values, and later discusses their interests in writing and psychology. A more focused and organized essay would benefit from a clear introduction that lays out the main themes or topics that will be covered. Additionally, there are some errors in grammar and word choice that could be corrected. For example, in the sentence "I love engage in different types of hobbies," the word "engage" should be changed to "engaging." In the sentence "probably because of this, I have a huge circle of friends," the word "son" should be changed to "so." These small errors can detract from the overall quality of the essay. Finally, while the author's voice is engaging and personal, there are a few areas where the writing could be tightened up. For example, in the sentence "I also have a wide range of interests and I love engage in different types of hobbies," the second half of the sentence feels redundant. A tighter, more concise sentence might read "I have a wide range of interests and enjoy exploring different hobbies." Overall, this essay shows promise but could benefit from some revisions to improve its organization, grammar, and sentence structure.

Cite this Essay

Who Am I? (2019, April 10). GradesFixer. Retrieved March 29, 2024, from https://gradesfixer.com/free-essay-examples/who-am-i-1/
“Who Am I?” GradesFixer, 10 Apr. 2019, gradesfixer.com/free-essay-examples/who-am-i-1/
Who Am I? [online]. Available at: <https://gradesfixer.com/free-essay-examples/who-am-i-1/> [Accessed 29 Mar. 2024].
Who Am I? [Internet] GradesFixer. 2019 Apr 10 [cited 2024 Mar 29]. Available from: https://gradesfixer.com/free-essay-examples/who-am-i-1/
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