A Diary of My Life: My Cultural Autobiography

Hello, person who is reading my autobiography. I hope my personal experiences, thoughts and feelings are interesting enough for you to smile, laugh, tear up or show any kind of feelings. Unless you’re that cold-hearted. So now that the disclaimer is out, let me just tell you that I wrote this to get away from cleaning the house, I told my father that I had to complete my homework that takes like 5 hours to complete when I finished it in 30 minutes. Why an autobiography and what kind? I’ll just go with a cultural autobiography because I want to try my hand at doing something like a diary. It also takes a long time so! An autobiography this is. I know this might be creepy, you just found out that someone is kind of writing to you and this letter was slipped into your library book. Sorry about that, I just did not want to keep this with me. Now, I would appreciate it if you would read what I have written but if you are in a hurry, then hopefully you’ll get to read it. Let’s begin.

Imagine a house full of laughter during the festive month of Hari Raya, lively chatting among cousins and even livelier gameplay among the children. Now, imagine a petite girl manoeuvring and squeezing her way through her relatives in her house. Entering her older brother’s room with the air conditioning on, trailed by a younger girl and boy. Heaving out a loud sigh, passing by the prayer mat laid out on the floor and plopping down on a chair. Getting away from the vibrant chatter outside. That would essentially be me. Contrary to a stereotype where Malays are a loud and outgoing bunch. Evidently, that does not apply to every Malay. Although my maternal grandmother is a Buginese and my grandfather is a Javanese. I see myself as a Singaporean Malay Muslim, not Javanese or Boyanese or any -nese.

Let me start with family first since my family members are in the living room. Usually, a family consists of children and their parents or parent. In the Malay culture, certain family members adopt certain roles. From the narrative above where narrative-me went into narrative-older brother’s room, even if I’m the second oldest, I still rely on the eldest. It is also seen when narrative-younger sister and narrative-younger brother followed behind narrative-me. Entering the room like copycats. It gets annoying. This goes to show that in our culture, the younger ones follow the older ones and the older siblings are given the responsibility to look out and care for the younger. Older siblings are also the first to be called out when mistakes are made either by the older siblings themselves or on behalf of their younger siblings. They would also be the first option of parents to help carry the groceries. I, although the second oldest, have taken advantage of being younger than my elder brother to dump my mistakes onto him. Also, being the second eldest, I would have to help look out for my younger siblings even if in some situations I might be scared to do so. Like ordering food in restaurants. Being a timid girl, I clammed up every time I had to do it when I was younger. You would think I would have gotten used to it, well lo and behold, I still get nervous every time I order for myself. Our culture usually looks at the older siblings rather than the younger siblings which is why - oh! I think their sole purpose is to annoy and be a form of support - emotional and moral for their older siblings. While also putting up the innocent façade in front of parents. Moving up the hierarchy, parents are supposed to provide for and support their children. Be it financially, emotionally or physically. Parents are also expected to teach their children various types of knowledge - literacy, skills - toileting, particularly manners and on religion, as both are cornerstones of the culture. Uncles and aunts also play a part in the lives of the family, as they are a source of support and help. Take for example if both parents have an emergency to take care of somewhere far from home and no one can take care of their young kids. They can enlist the help of their siblings or in-laws. Going one step beyond, grandparents are a vital part of the Malay culture as they are expected to help their children and grandchildren. Such as taking care of their new-born grandchildren, giving child-rearing advice or just to be a listening ear. Meanwhile, they would casually dote on their children- cooking for them scrumptious meals and buying clothes for them. This brings me to the part on how babies are raised in my culture which is influenced by the family’s religion. Since I am a Malay Muslim, one custom I am familiar with is when a mother successfully gives birth to a child, the husband would have to recite the ‘azan and iqamah’ which is about swearing that there is only one god and how we as Muslims have the duty to serve our god. This would be recited in the baby’s right and left ear respectively. As the child grows older, he is expected to sleep in his own room compared to when he was sleeping in his parent’s room. This teaches the child to brave and independent. 

So, do you see the pattern here, our culture taps on the family relationship significantly as they are our first source of support. The next is our friends and neighbours. Then, we turn to third parties who can lend a hand.