A Reflection on My Karate Competition in Thailand

When I was a kid, my father once said to me, “In order to win a competition, ingenuity is what you need, but what more important than that is courage.” I merely believed in what he said that day. One day something changed me and made me believe that I should have been more cautious about his words. I always thought that lack of ingenuity resulted in failure until I was assigned to a Karate competition in Thailand. I realized that ingenuity was not sufficient.

In 2017, I was assigned to a competition in Bangkok, Thailand joined by athletes from many Southeast Asian Nations. I did not want to attend the competition because I did not have the will to show myself and my strength for the competition. I hated and feared of being stared at by so many people around me especially in competitions. Although I had spent two years on my training and getting criticized for the mistakes I had made in the training session, I never had the courage to be a winner in any Karate competitions. My only goals were good health and self-defense. My Sensei kept asking me to join the competition and I asked him why. He replied, “You may think that years of training seem to be enough for you, but just because of that, doesn’t mean you know how to use it. Furthermore, you may know the tactics in combat I taught you, but you haven’t had the bravery to act yet which is why I think that this is your opportunity not just to show your ability, but to become more fearless in combat.” I decided to do as I was told. I couldn’t sleep properly at night times before the completion because I was imagining how things would be when I compete. It was like going on a war empty-handed. My father gave me his advice about fear and how he would reward me if I came back with a medal. He thought I felt motivated meanwhile I felt depressed.

After a long travel by bus, I arrived in Thailand a few days before the competition along with my Cambodian team. So, we had a few days of preparation and consultation with our Coaches. I noticed that I was the strangest young man among my team. During the exercise with my teammates, they seemed to be well-trained and absolutely tenacious. They performed very well when they all sparred together, so that they merely got blamed by their instructors. Moreover, they had experienced a lot in national competition, so the rest of team seemed confident except for me. I was the only one who got blamed extremely often. One of my coaches said to me, “You’re not compatible with this kind of competition. You’re just a frightened fool. You need to open your eyes and see other athletes of your team as examples. They’re not like you. What are you so afraid of?” It was so frustrating to spent years of training and being scarred just to hear those words that I nearly abandoned that competition, nevertheless he wasn’t wrong, so I had to admit. Those athletes were so professional because they had won a few medals from their previous competitions which made them perform well without hesitation, so I was no match not only for the competition, but also for my own teammate because I had never won any medals before and that was also the first time I competed internationally.

After a few days of warming up, the competition commenced but still I wasn’t ready. The stadium that I was going to compete in was located somewhere in a suburb of Bangkok. Once I entered the stadium, I felt scared but also fresh at the same time. The stadium was so beautiful, huge and crowded by athletes of different countries. There were no other options beside doing my utmost. I stood on the ring, tried to conquer my fear, and used every tactic I learned while my opponent was way faster than me, more confident, taller, and more skillful. He was a Thai athlete. The match lasted several minutes. Eventually, I lost the elimination match on the first round. I was upset by the fear I couldn’t conquer and that was the one of the most tragic event in my life. What worse than losing an international competition was shame. I was supposed to perform well on behalf on my country, but everything was different. However, I somehow felt proud of myself that I had the chance to experience such event. Furthermore, other athletes of my team won medals which was a wonderful pride of my nation. After the competition days, I went back to my homeland and told my parents and my teachers about the event.

To conclude the essay, courage is the most powerful tool in all competitive aspects of life. “I learned that courage was not the absence of fear, but the triumph over it. The brave man is not the one who does not feel afraid, but he who conquers that fear” was the sentence that I would never forget especially after the competition in Thailand. Although I lost, the failure meant something to me. I finally learned that nothing comes before overcoming fear in every competitive condition. My life started to change since then.