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In my family dynamic, I think my mom and dad had different parenting styles as I was growing up. I think my mom had more of an authoritative parenting style while my dad had more of a permissive parenting style.
My mom was authoritative because she was always the one making sure my brothers and I finished our homework before we did anything else. She always wanted to know what was going on at school and how our grades were. She had no problem calling teachers and making meetings with them if we were performing poorly in that class. If I ever got in trouble, I would be much more scared of my mom’s punishment than my dad’s. She made sure I was involved in activities, from girl scouts in elementary school to sports and clubs in high school. She saw these as great opportunities to boost my self-esteem and self-control, so I was constantly participating in some type of activity since I was very young. I think my dad had a permissive parenting style because although he was interested in what we were doing and how our grades were, he was not the one who went and met with the teachers or made sure our homework was finished. I remember every once in a while he would take me and my brothers out to dinner without questioning if we finished our homework or not. He was more concerned about letting us have fun while working hard while my mom thought of school before everything. I could get away with a lot more things with my dad than I could with my mom. I sometimes considered him more of a friend than a parent which is why I think he was a permissive parent.
I think the authoritative parenting style impacted me in an overall positive way. I think it helped me focus on school and realize how important it is to do what is necessary to become successful. I believe is affected me positively in self-esteem because I would feel good about myself when I accomplished something. I think it also positively affected my self-control because it taught me early on that there were rules I needed to follow and I shouldn’t break those rules. This parenting style greatly helped my academic achievements because I always got homework done before everything else which boosted my grades. I think it also helped with my social interactions with peers because I was constantly enrolled in different activities and socializing with kids my age. I think the only drawback to this parenting style was that it didn’t help me gain a sense of independence. I was always told what I needed to do when I needed to do it. This could have caused a problem coming into college, but fortunately, I kept up with the schedule my mom taught me. This could have affected other people with authoritative parents though because they now finally have freedom. They may blow off their schoolwork because no one is there to make sure they did it. I think the permissive parenting style helped me in self-esteem because my dad would never yell at me or get mad at me. I think this also really helped in my independence because he would allow me to try to do things on my own and help me if I needed it. I don’t think it had much of an effect when it came to peers or self-control, but I was still raised properly because I experienced both parenting styles.
I believe that having two different parenting styles growing up was a good thing. What the permissive style lacked, the authoritative had and vice versa. I think this combination of styles was the best of both worlds because both of my parents were involved in my life but in different ways, which helped me become the person I am today.
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