Different Parenting Styles in Battle Hymn of The Tiger Mother by Amy Chua

Overtime people wonder what the difference is between Chinese parents and Western parents and how both families raise their children. Chinese parents raise their children way differently than Western parents, the opposite. In this novel “Battle Hymn of the Tiger Mother” written by Amy Chua argues the differences between Chinese parents or Western parents and about a mother of two daughters and how she raises her two daughters stereotypically successful Chinese kids.

In addition, in the novel Chua states some things her daughters were never allowed to do: “attend a sleepover, have a playdate, be in a school play, complain about not being in a school play, watch TV or play computer games, choose their own extracurricular activities, get any grade less than an A, not be the number 1 student in every subject except gym and drama, play any instruments other than the piano or violin, and not play the piano or violin”. I disagree with this completely because your children should be able to pick what sport or what instrument they want to play. Children shouldn't be forced to do anything if they don't want to. Chinese parents tend to overload their children by telling them to study or don't do any of these things to the point where some kids don't even know what fun is because they miss out on so many things.

Nevertheless, in the novel it states that “there are tons of studies out there showing marked and quantifiable differences between Chinese and Westerners when it comes to parenting.” “In one study of 50 Western American mothers and 48 Chinese immigrant mothers, almost 70% of the Western mothers said either that “stressing academic success is not good for children” or that “parents need to foster the idea that learning is fun.” “By contrast, roughly 0% of the Chinese mothers felt the same way.” I believe that children should be able to decide what they want for themselves and what's best for them, but I also believe that parents should also push you to do good in school and be a little strict so you can set certain boundaries. Chinese mothers raise their kids to be musicians or math whizzes. They test your boundaries so that you can become successful and to become successful you need good grades and to get good grades you need to study and do all of your work. Chinese mothers also imply that failure is NOT an option. While on the other hand Western parents are less strict. Western parents care about self-esteem and individuality. They make it so that the child more responsible for themselves rather than the parents. Western parents let their children be more open for their options in life they let them be what they choose and have freedom. Are Western parents more permissive than Chinese parents? And are Chinese parents prioritizing academics? More than Western parents do?

Chinese parents believe that they know what’s best for their kids and that what they are doing is to make them a better successful person. “That’s why Chinese daughters can’t have boyfriends in high school and why Chinese kids can’t go to sleep away camp.” I agree with Chua somewhat because having a boyfriend in high school or even college will distract you from school work and some kids tend to prioritize their significant other rather than school but i also believe that for the second part that children should be able to go to sleep away camps especially if it's with their school/classmates because they need to experience certain things in their lives and go on adventures otherwise they won't know how all of that is and they won't know what's fun anymore. Can't learn unless you try. Every single person has their own style of parenting. As revealed by Chua she indicates that “many Chinese secretly believe that they care more about their children and are willing to sacrifice much more for them than Westerners, who seem perfectly content to let their children turn out badly.” Chua is basically saying that Westerners do not care for their children as much as Chinese parents do. In my opinion she is falsely accusing the Westerners with bath parenting skills. As stated in the novel “the Chinese believe that the best way to protect their children is by preparing them for the future, letting them see what they’re capable of, and arming them with skills, work habits and inner confidence that no one can ever take away.” Having strict parents isn't too horrible because it teaches your life lessons and pushes you to do your all-time best and sometimes taking away the fun things in life can be for the child's own good but on the other hand it's also tough because you miss out on a lot of things that you could've done with your friends such as sleepovers, play dates, etc.

In conclusion, I don’t believe in Chua’s parenting skills because she is too strict. Parenting comes in different styles and everyone has their own different ways. In my opinion, I think you should let your children kids be who they are and become what they want, not forcing them to be something or do something they don't want to do. This is why I believe that Chinese parents are wrong.