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The attraction between two people has always been seen as an almost mythical and indecipherable fact. We believe that women are complex beings, when in reality it’s not very difficult to understand them, much less to attract them.In order to do so, it’s necessary to follow the most important advice: be yourself. Now, it’s true that we don’t always feel comfortable with our own version, but is it possible to change it in order to attract girls? How can I captivate a woman if I’m not sure of myself? What are those qualities that women look for in a man?From now on we will examine the world of women, of attraction, and you will know how you can make that girl that you like, can fall at your feet. We will also examine those common mistakes that we as men, have done at least once in our lives. You might feel identified, and if you think you’re still making those mistakes, I’ll teach you how to change them. At the end of this book you’ll understand that the secret to attract women doesn’t depend on how handsome you are. It only depends on how confident you are. Let’s start!Is attraction important?
When you see a girl and you feel the desire to approach her, I’m sure you ask yourself “will she be attracted to me? Can I make her feel attracted to me or is it something natural, chemical?”.Both options are correct.
What I mean by this? Yes, the attraction in most cases is natural and immediate. Sometimes it doesn’t take more than a few seconds to realize if you are attracted to someone else, and vice versa.You might be wondering: “is the attraction just physical?”Not always, my friend.Some men believe that by having good bodies all women will be physically attracted to them, but let me tell you, that’s just the cover of the book. The real attraction is the one that goes beyond the cover, making a girl lose herself in the chapters and not wanting to stop reading.So, attraction is very important. Without it, you can’t win the attention —and the heart, if that’s what you also want— of the girl that you want.How can I show her that I’m attracted to her? Most women prefer to wait until men send a sign. It’s not very probable that women show you how much they’re attracted you if they don’t see that the feeling is mutual. So, even if it’s a bit old a medieval, guys need to take the first step. By steps I mean signs. Here I give you some:· Make eye contact with her, remove your shyness. Look her straight in the eyes.
Listen to her carefully, and if possible, smile at her but not too much. Just enough for her to know she has your attention. How to know if a woman is attracted to you? Women are very subtle when it comes to signaling. Few people dare to be frontal when a man likes them, however the signs will be there. If a girl likes you, it is possible for her to act in the following way:
She’ll make eye contact with you constantly, letting you know that you exist on her radar. Women don’t usually give long glances, they prefer the constant ones.· She will laugh at what you say, or at least she will smile at you if she’s interested in your words. Some will simply smile on you even when you haven’t said anything.
Physical contact: few people dare, however, if a woman you know dares to touch your shoulder or forearm while she’s talking to you, she’s breaking a huge barrier and possibly giving you permission to do it with subtlety.
The hair. This may have already been heard many times, but it isn’t a lie. Some women unconsciously play with their hair when they like a boy. Although many of them don’t know, that gesture is a natural way for their body to send pheromones. It’s important to remember that attraction is not necessarily logical. Women don’t calculate all the time if they should or shouldn’t like you, or why. The attraction beyond being something physical, depends on the chemistry between the parties. But in this case, it’ll depend on your abilities to get their attention and to make them laugh. Attraction is not something that is chosen, it is something that happens. Even though there is no formula to attract women, if you do the right things to attract the person you like, it will happen.Things that can kill attractionI already explained that attraction is something that isn’t logical and uncontrollable. However, there are things that can make that attraction disappear. There are mistakes that some men make and keep away that woman they like. What are those mistakes? Here I will explain those to you.
TOO MUCH VISUAL CONTACT Women like eye contact, yes, but in a perfect balance between showing interest without causing discomfort. When you make eye contact, it gives the message that you are a confident man, and if there’s a weakness for women, it’s men with self-confidence (it melts them!). Women also make eye contact and enjoy it. They understand it as signs, so don’t be afraid to do it.
TOO MUCH TALKING Most women love to talk and, they like having someone who listens to them. When you’re in the process of knowing a woman, it’s likely that she’ll not open up to you too much, although she might give you clues about the things she likes and makes her happy. If she attracts you, listen to her. That will make her feel comfortable around you.If you don’t like to listen to her, then maybe you don’t feel so attracted to her. And that’s a bigger problem, my friend.Now, talking too much is also a problem! Why? Women don’t like men who talk too much while they’re getting to know him. Try to get good conversation topics, but do not overwhelm the girl with your stories, it just might get her bored. Remember that the best things are conquered with baby steps.
TOPICS OF CONVERSATION Although it’s true that there is no magic formula to attract a girl or interest her in a conversation, there are things you should avoid. Excessive sexual content:Women prefer to talk about this when they have a lot of trust in man, not while they are getting to know him. Sex is a very intimate subject that reveals part of your personality, and if you try to talk about it at the beginning, you won’t only end up alarming her but, she’ll think that those are your only intentions with her (in case that they are, it’s worth being direct, but there’s a good chance that you will be rejected though). In the end, most women see sex as something significant, BUT not necessarily romantic. Politics:Politics is a difficult subject to deal with anyone, since we do not all think in the same way. Also, not all girls may be interested in politics and they might get bored. In the worst case, if you two don’t share the same vision, there are chances that the atmosphere gets very tense. Ex-girlfriends:This is important. Women are not interested in knowing who you’ve dated before while they’re meeting you. If you talk about your previous partners, they will assume that you haven’t forgotten them. Therefore, they probably won’t want to take any step with you.
POOR HYGIENE This is a bit obvious, but some men don’t take it into account. Women like neat men, and being more specific, these are the things you should consider to attract, at least physically, a girl:
Clothes. This doesn’t mean that you need to go and buy elegant clothes, it only means that women like men that take their time to at least wear something nicely and that fits to them.
Smell. Take a shower before, my friend.· Clean nails. Yes, I know, it’s weird. But women do notice your hands. And let’s face it, some of us also notice women’s hands because it can tell us how clean they might be.
Breath. Nobody wants to talk to someone whose mouth smells badly.Those points are part of the basic hygiene you should have. Now, it’s no secret that women like it a lot: · Well-dressed men (not necessarily fancy, as we discussed before).
Hair clean and combed.
Smell of cologne. Yes, my friend, this can drive them crazy.
GETTING DRUNK Nothing bores more to a girl than a drunken man, since by not being clear of mind they don’t have someone to talk to in a coherent way (again, women love talking). Let’s be honest, a girl wouldn’t like to stand a drunken guy when she’s only getting to know him. That’s an awful first impression.That is one of the most efficient and immediate ways to kill the attraction.
BEING ABSENT As I mentioned before, women like to talk and be heard. They also like to know more about someone if they feel that that person can offer them something more, and if they feel comfortable around them. So if you don’t pay attention to them while they talk or you are absent, it’s possible that they will be offended and no longer interested in you.So the trick: give them attention.And beyond giving them attention, you have to enjoy the moment, otherwise, they will notice. Always.It won’t help if, even though you are listening to them, you seem bored. Therefore, relax and let everything flow!Things women usually likeWomen are not as complicated as people usually tell us. Anyway, here I will explain what things women prefer, externally (appearance) and internally (personality).
Physically: It’s a common misconception that women are looking for the most handsome man in the room. You don’t really need to be strictly handsome to get the girl you like. Now, there are some basic rules that you should follow:
Have good hygiene (mentioned before).
Good presence: you must have taken your time to get ready, look good with the clothes you are wearing. At the end, we’re humans and both men and women are looking for the same: someone who represents them. By that I mean, someone who they can brag about, and won’t feel embarrassed. Yes, that sounds kind of awful, but it’s usually true. And you don’t need someone handsome or strictly beautiful to do so, you just need someone that has good presence and the ability to be part of your circle of friends.With those two basic rules, you have part of the work done. Now, the most important thing is … the interior. Yes, women will buy the version you show about yourself, not because of what you have done in the past, but because of the confidence you have while talking.Let me explain it you in a better way. These are the things that a woman will notice in your personality:
Confidence in yourself. If you don’t have this, it will be difficult for you to get the girl you like to be attracted to you. Women are looking for confident men. That’s almost an immediate magnet.
Having confidence does not mean being douchebag. Women don’t like men who humiliate, who try to show how many things they have or disrespect other women.
Sense of humor. This is perhaps the second most important point and the one that defines everything with that girl that you like. Just as men are stimulated through the eyes, women are stimulated through the ear. If you manage to make her laugh and enjoy the moment, believe me, you’ll have most of your work done.
Smile and make eye contact. We have already talked about the importance of the gazes, but the smiles are also indispensable, that will make you seem more accessible and she will feel more comfortable when talking with you
.· Relax your body language. If you seem completely tense with the girl you like, it’s likely that she feels uncomfortable too, and won’t open herself to you as you would like. So relax! She’ll notice if you are carefree and that will also help you to have a better conversation.· Tell entertaining stories, and don’t brag.· Show her you want her. If she sees that you like her, she will be able to decide whether to take the step with you or if it’s better not to do it. Don’t be too intense either. The key: being subtle so she gets intrigued to discover your intentions.As I mentioned before, women are stimulated through the ear, so if you want to satisfy them: flatter them, communicate, tell them how good they look, make them laugh. That is the real key to getting a woman to feel imminently attracted to you.Now, try to do it without being too intense. Be always subtle, and you will have them where you want.The importance of personalityPersonality is everything. It’s true that some women are led at the beginning by appearances, by a book cover difficult to reject. But most of them stop dating those same men if they see that they are empty shells, or if they notice they’re douchebags. On the other hand, if you think that you are not so attractive but have a good sense of humor or are a cultured person capable of having interesting conversations, I can assure you’ll have second and third dates. Let’s talk about those details in your personality and attitude that women notice and usually love:
INTELLIGENCE AND CONTENTDon’t be an empty shell. When I say intelligence I don’t mean that you must have a PhD, but it would be great if you were a man who can talk about many different things, who knows where he is standing. Women are interested in talking about different topics. If they see in you someone with whom they can talk for hours … you will have won! HUMORIf you have a lot of content but you don’t have humor, you can be called a boring guy. Some men ask themselves “how can I make her laugh?”. By relaxing, my friend. You need to have confidence in yourself, in what you think and what you want to say. If you refuse to be yourself, you already lost the battle. LISTENEREven though sometimes it can be a bit boring, you need to know how to listen. Women talk. A lot. Be patient, listen to their stories (or at least pretend to do so), and win their trust. But beware of falling into the friendzone!
CONFIDENCE If you don’t look like a confident guy who is sure of his words, thoughts and gestures… why a girl should be sure about dating you? Believe or not, confidence is everything. If you’re confident, you’ll have a better sense of humor and you’ll be unstoppable. But, one thing is to be confident about yourself and other one is to be a douchebag, and remember, girls don’t like douchebags! “Good guy” vs. “Bad boy”This is a hot topic. And at the same time, it’s a subject full of prejudices and misconceptions.”Good girls prefer bad guys”. Not always. In the end that is an idea fed by thousands of novels and movies, which make women believe that bad guys always fall in love with the good girls and are able to change for them. In real life we know that it is not like that. And women know it too, or at least they discover it when they start to date that bad boy. Believe or not, women are tired of being underestimated by guys or mistreated. So the idealization of the “Bad Boys” is starting to end. You are a good guy and think that you’re not what women are looking for? Well, it will always depend on the woman you’re attracted to, but believe me, my friend, good guys are the trend. And women love trends.”I’m a good guy but I’ll always be the best friend”. This is also an error. If you’re the best friend and you don’t get out of that comfort zone, it’s because maybe you’re afraid of losing her if you confess your feelings. What you may not have known was that the attraction can come in many ways, and if you show that girl you like her and respect her, she may change her vision of you.
See? We went back to one of our most important things in attractive personalities: confidence in yourself. In the end, women will prefer the good guy: the one who makes them laugh, respects them and makes them feel important. This last thing is crucial, because women love to feel desired and strong. If you, my friend, make her feel like that, she’ll notice you and might get interested in you.The only thing interfering between you and the girl you like are the fears. If you overcome that, the girl will be yours.How to get a girl that already rejected you?This one can be a tough question.First of all, there are many reason to reject a person. So, you don’t have to take it as a definitive answer, you can keep trying but without being an annoying guy. How can you do so? Be her friend first. Entering the friendzone isn’t an attractive idea, but if she like your personality but doesn’t want a relationship right now, you can try being her friend and getting close to her. You can invite her to hang out, go out, do fun activities. Make her laugh! This can help you to realize if you actually like her, if she’s worth waiting for. Give her time to know you before making new moves so you don’t seem too desperate. And, when you think it’s the perfect time, be straight forward with your intentions. Now… if a girl didn’t like you for your personality, there are two things you can do:1. Leave it like that, because you should be liked for what you are. Don’t pretend to be a guy you’re not, otherwise at some time she’ll notice who you truly are and consequences can be awful. 2. If you think she’s right, I mean, if you think you have a difficult personality, you can try to change it. But do it only if you think it’s a better choice for you, never for anyone else.The art of flirtingAnyone can flirt, but not everyone gets the expected result.
So, let’s say that you got the attention of the girl you like; she’s got you in her radar. What now? How to flirt appropriately? Well, most of the women are different between them, so these following tips won’t work with all of them. We will take as an example a regular girl, with regular tastes. First of all, even before talking to her, I strongly recommend you to ask yourself some questions about her so you can take her off the pedestal and approach with less anxiety. What type of questions? Look at her, besides her body, what other things she has that you actually like? Is she fun? Is she nice? Is she a good talker, or is she the know-it-all type? Once you answer those questions to yourself and find what attributes you like about her, it’ll be easier to flirt with her.Second step. Start a playful and interesting conversation about some topic you think she’ll like. It’s important to carefully listen to her so you can mentally save the things she’s interested in (you can use them to bring new topics of conversation). Don’t ask her the usual questions like “what’s your favorite movie/book?”, because it’s not very original and you’ll find it out anyway later in other conversations. Now, ask her something like: What kind of adventures have you been up to? What activities you usually to for fun?Try to find out what she does in her spare time, not only because that way you’ll know if she’s an interesting girl, but also, because that will help you to ease the conversation. Third but very important: integrity. It’s normal that in a conversation you two won’t agree in everything. Anytime you disagree, don’t be afraid to show her your point of view (without being disrespectful!). Women love men with integrity, who can speak their minds and are honest. If you agree with everything she says just to like her, she’ll take it in the wrong way. She’ll think you’re faking everything. Four step: body language. We’ve talked about this several times, but that’s only because it’s a very important matter.
Remember the eye contact, the smiles and the laughs. Show her your interest that way, and she’ll do the same thing with you. Extra step. This might be too obvious, but I’ll still remind you: friends and other women are forbidden while you’re flirting with the girl you like. By this I mean, don’t flatter any other woman. Do NOT say things like: “your friend seems really nice and pretty”, “that woman looks great”. Women are narcissists and get offended easily. You want to flirt with one and win her attention and heart? Only flatter her. If you do the opposite… that will kill everything.Extra step II. “Is reputation important?” Some men ask themselves that, and I should tell you… it is. Women talk, a lot. And women tell their friends everything they do with guys. Actually, they work by references, if a girl you like knows that you weren’t precisely nice to another one, she’ll always keep that in mind while she’s talking to you. So be careful with you little adventures, my friend. Fuck buddiesCan two friends satisfy their sexual needs with no strings attached? For us, it’s simpler. But it’s not a misconception that women find sex as a connection and that’s why they usually expect more after she sleeps with you several times. For women sex has a meaning, but not necessarily romantic. If they’re angry someone else, sex with you means revenge. If they like you, sex with you means they’re testing if you two have chemistry in bed. If they’re in love with somebody else, sex with you means an escape. If they’re in love with you, sex means “I’ll try to win your heart at any way possible”. So, for women, sex will always have a meaning. At least for most of them. And if you can actually satisfy them, and give them the time of their lives, they’ll try to see you again. Friends with benefits? Although many people say it’s possible, I must tell you, my friend, it’s not. Even if we like it or not, casual and frequent sex creates a bond with the other person, because sex is about possession, power. And it’s normal if either of you, after a period of time, start feeling jealous of other people. And in that moment, the “friendship” starts to change, to evolve into something different. Some friends with benefits become couples, some just doesn’t. The “fuck buddies” concept works for a short period of time, more than that, it’ll get you in trouble. Final wordsI know that sometimes we can feel insecure about ourselves, about our personalities, about our bodies because everything we find online tell us that we need to follow some social and physical rules to be the perfect guy a girl. But don’t follow those “advices”. Always be yourself. That’s the only thing that can attract women. Remember they love confidence in men, and if you think you’re too shy, I’m sure there are other ways (writes here) to be the center of her attention. One last secret? Visualize the things you want, the person you want to be and work hard to get it, to be that man. When you visualize, you’re attracting the things you need, and the people you want. Remember simple but specific and important tips: hygiene, sense of humor and playful conversations. Remember to listen to the girl you like, and make her feel like she’s the center of the world, the prettiest girl in the place. Play with their narcissism.This is a world of possibilities, so don’t get disappointed if one girl eventually rejects you. Everyone gets rejected a few times in their lives. If you want to keep trying with the same girl, then become her friend and start hanging out with her, find out what activities she likes, what things she loves to do, and make her see that you like it too. But the most important thing you need to do before sending her signs or flirting with her is… asking yourself if she’s the one you actually like. Because if you don’t like her enough, then all the flirting process will become tedious and boring, worst of all: she’ll notice. So, have confidence in yourself and you’ll get any girl you want.Good luck!18
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