Interview on The Lifestyle of Your Other and a Domestic Worker

Questionnaires

• As a mother, do you think you give enough time to your children?
• Are you satisfied with your paid (maid) or unpaid (mother) work?
• How do you feel being working outside (maid) or not working outside (mother) oppressed, subordinate or dominant?
• What impact does your work have on your lifestyle?

As a mother, do you think you give enough time to your children?

My mother’s perspective:

Yes of course, I give enough time to my children. I stay at home for them, I do their work and I feel happy. Work-at-home parents don't have unlimited time with their kids, but they do have more frequent opportunities to be with their children. She stated that It’s impossible to be a great parent and a great worker at the same time. She said it might be possible that some people disagree with her statement since they might have done a bettwr work doing both. But if you expect being a great parent includes staying away from home for long hours a day, then it is difficult to give time to your children.

Domestic worker's perspective:

She stated that if she compare herself with those mothers who stay at home all day then she don’t give enough time to my children. Parents are hardwired to feel guilty that they may not be involved enough with their kids. I do domestic work for my family’s betterment and support them financially. Those mothers who stay at home may not comply financially. Making the best use of limited family time is a big challenge for working parents. She said if you work full-time, then your time at home with the children can easily become flatten. When you come home from work, there are pressures to do so much and to fit everything in. Not only do you want to play with your children, there are dinners to be made, a house to be cleaned and a million things to be done in a smaller and smaller window. Women typically maintain certain responsibility for the home and the family, they have greater difficulty in balancing work and family she stated. She mentioned that she often find it more difficult to maintain balance on account of the work and at home. Working women have to carefully handle their personal balance and skillfully merge their roles, so as to manage their potential in all part of life.

As a women, are you satisfied with your paid or unpaid work or you do it willing or unwillingly)

My mother’s perspective:

My mother’s answer was; she is satisfied with her work and the reason she found of being satisfied was because she is unaware of the circumstances that the domestic workers face in the outer world. She has spent almost her life in doing the household chores and taking care of the children. From her early childhood, she was taught to be obedient and caregiver. Her husband was supposed to be the breadwinner and he fulfilled his duties very well. She didn't even thought of working outside because she is provided what she needs. She said she don’t have to get pay for her work because it is every women’s responsibility to do her household chores. She believes that the first and foremost that your family expects is for you to fulfill the demands of the house and taking care of responsibilities cheered on to you by your elders. You simply cannot get out of taking time out for your elders. If you wish to be an independent working woman on your own you’ll be satisfy to find yourself focal a life of a professional worker in an office or elsewhere and a cook at home.

Domestic helper's perspective:

When I asked the domestic helper the same question she said she is not satisfied with the work and she is doing it unwillingly. Furthermore, she stated that she does the work to fulfill her family needs otherwise no women in the world would like to go out and work. Women's like to stay at home, get some rest, do her household chore and spend time with her family. The life she is spending is for the betterment of her family needs even though the wage is very low. Spending a whole day working outside and going back home doing the household chore is difficult task. It affects her health and it is kind of difficult to spend time with her family members. She mentioned that her work is invisible to the public. The unique feature of their work place make them important to misuse. Women's who work in their home have similar situation as a domestic worker, they both are not given values regarding their work.

How do you feel being working outside (maid) or working at home (mother) oppressed, subordinate or dominant?

Domestic helper's Viewpoint:

According to her she feels dominated at home because she is considered as a bread winner. Moreover, she stated that in our culture a men is supposed to be a bread winner. She said she has to manage the budget for the whole month so her husband's also gives his salary to her wife. She is given more respect from her family members.

Moreover, she mentioned that she feels kind of submissive working outside because she has to follow certain rules and regulations and sometimes she has to face insult in front of other people. Even on some special occasions she has to beg for one day leave. Even though she tries to fulfill all the requirement and work hard but at the end she is named as work stealer. She doesn’t get enough time to spend with her relatives other than meeting on some special occasion if her leave is accepted.

My mother's perspective:

My mother said that she sometimes feel submissive but mostly dominated. Dominated because she has to manage everything at home, from the budget allocation, kitchen work, cleanliness and child care. If she stops doing all the household chores, the house will scatter down. She said the people living with her shows respect for her.

The reason might be because she is the elder and have control over them but she gains respect and her decision making plays a vital part so she feels dominated. On the other hand being submissive means she is not independent. For every single penny she has to look for her husband. She said even though it is in our culture and we accept it that your husband is your king, a women is his responsibility and he has to bring money but my mother said sometimes when she get a chance to think of herself she feels more submissive because the money or the power she is having is not of her own self. It is given to her and she is responsible if there is a miss management.

What impact does your work have on your lifestyle?

Domestic helper's point of view:

The lady said that even though she is not willing to work outside but she feels more independent because she doesn’t have to ask for money every time. Traditionally, women have been looked upon as nurturers and care givers and assigned all roles related to balancing and managing a family. Their work in various households is different from childcare, cleaning, and other responsibilities. She mentioned that she become aware of the outer world problems she faces and act more strongly and bravely to overcome those issues. She is given more power and respect at home and her work is appreciated by her family, if not by the public. She is supported from her family if she gets in any kind of trouble or health issue.

My mother's Perspective:

According to my mother's perspective, her work has taught her many lessons in her life. She has always remained obedient and kind to others and she expects others to be polite and give respect. Her work has made her dominant in her decision making power. For every mother she mentioned, it is difficult to give a second for themselves to think. My mother mentioned that it is considered selfish in our culture to just think of yourself and not your family. Moreover, a woman who seeks a position, she must build a bridge on the other side of her life, including hobbies, personal relationships and family. Mothers often have to challenge perceptions and stereotypes that involve as a working woman becomes a working mother. Most jobs require a huge amount of time and effort, which a working mother may not be able to devote due to family obligations. Differences and Similarities between the lifestyle of your mother and domestic worker

• A domestic worker is person who works within the employer's household and is paid and a mother is one who bring unity and structure to the family unit and works without payment.
• A domestic worker is more independent than a mother working at home being dependent.
• A domestic worker is submissive when she works outside and a mother is dominant in her home.
• A domestic worker gives less time to her family as compare to a mother spending time at home.

Similarities

• A mother and a domestic worker, both have similar responsibilities of household chore.
• Both of them feel submissive in some ways.
• A mother and a domestic worker, both have very less time to think about themselves.
• Uneducated
• Believe in traditional cultural spectrum