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Letter About Myself from The 3rd Person

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Words: 633 |

Page: 1|

4 min read

Published: Jun 20, 2019

Essay grade:
Good
arrow downward Read Review

Words: 633|Page: 1|4 min read

Published: Jun 20, 2019

Essay grade:
Good
arrow downward Read Review

Hello I’m Sophia’s phone and for being around her for almost two years I know a lot about her, and I’m going to let you in on some of the stuff I know about her. Sophia and I spend all her free time together, she’s really fun to hang out with… when you get to know her. If I can tell you one thing for sure though, there is never a dull moment with her, she spends a lot of time laughing at her own jokes, (I mean some of them are funny) and laughing at things she sees on Instagram.

'Why Violent Video Games Shouldn't Be Banned'?

Times with Sophia are always entertaining, we go on Instagram all the time, (and when I say all the time I mean all the time.) When she finds something with music she jams out and blasts me as loud as I can go. Sophia takes good care of me I mean she drops me sometimes but I’ve never cracked. Some of my favorite days are the ones when we’re all alone and she connects me with her speaker and I’m blasting her favorite songs. I can see she loves it just as much as me because she sings and dances all over her room. During the summer we spend every second together and we both have so much fun, but then school comes around and I don’t get to see her as much and it makes me sad.

At school I’m usually in her backpack or in her back pocket so I don’t see her a lot. Even though I don’t see her I can hear her, and after listening the last two years I know that she struggles in class because she is dyslexic and doesn’t have too many friends by her side. She is not that confident in writing or reading in groups, but she is willing to seek and receive help. The thing though is Sophia enjoys learning and wants to get good grades and is really striving for a C or B in English and hopes that you will help her get there. Another thing I have noticed is she doesn't volunteer to show her work in class because she doesn't love it when people comment rude things about her spelling. But if she doesn’t understand something in class she will ask her teachers questions in private. After school when we get home, we fall onto her bed and go on Instagram (shocking I know) and luckily that puts a smile on her face.

When we’re on her bed, above us she has all these trophies and medals. She has seven soccer trophies, one softball trophy, and five soccer medals. Well I’m going to go out on a limb and guess that she played soccer, and if I remember correctly she played for eight years but then had to stop because of health problems that have just gotten worse over time so now she can’t play any sports which is hard on her. My favorite thing about Sophia though is how she doesn’t back down from a challenge, although everything is hard for her she will always try her best and not give up. I am truly lucky to have gotten to know Sophia and I’m definitely dreading the day when I get too old to keep up with her and the busy life she is striving for. I know that she has big and busy plans for her life after high school (which she’s going to do great in, and pass all her classes) I hope that she keeps me around long enough to see where the future takes her. Take it from me you are truly lucky to know her, but let me leave you with one more thing... there is more to Sophia than meets the eye.

Sincerely,

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Sophia’s Phone

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This essay was graded by
Dr. Oliver Johnson
Essay’s grade:
Good
What’s grading
minus plus
Expert Review
This essay, written in the form of a letter, showcases a unique perspective by presenting the writer's thoughts from the viewpoint of her phone. The essay provides an organized and focused glimpse into the writer's personality and interests. The sentence structure is simple and easy to follow, with an appropriate use of colloquialisms to lend authenticity to the voice. The grammar is generally sound, with a few minor errors. The essay demonstrates a clear voice and engages the reader with anecdotes and personal details. However, the essay could benefit from more complex sentence structures and a deeper analysis of the writer's character.
minus plus
What can be improved
The essay "Letter About Myself from The 3rd Person" showcases the writer's personality and interests from an unusual perspective, that of her phone. While the essay is organized, the writer could benefit from varying sentence structures to create more complex and engaging sentences. For instance, the sentence "Sophia takes good care of me I mean she drops me sometimes but I’ve never cracked" could be rephrased as "Despite occasional drops, Sophia takes good care of me, and I have not suffered any damage." This sentence not only adds complexity but also elevates the language used. The essay could also benefit from deeper analysis of the writer's character. While the writer notes that Sophia is dyslexic and struggles with confidence in writing and reading, the essay does not delve deeper into these struggles or explore how they have shaped her character. Adding more personal details and anecdotes could lend more depth to the essay. In terms of grammar, the essay is mostly sound, with only a few minor errors such as "when people comment rude things about her spelling" instead of "when people make rude comments about her spelling." The writer's voice is clear and authentic, with appropriate use of colloquialisms. However, there are some moments where the writer's tone is too informal, such as "shocking, I know." To improve the essay, the writer could focus on adding more complex sentence structures, analyzing the writer's character in greater depth, and paying closer attention to grammar and tone.

Cite this Essay

Letter About Myself From The 3rd Person. (2019, Jun 12). GradesFixer. Retrieved May 26, 2024, from https://gradesfixer.com/free-essay-examples/letter-about-myself-from-the-3rd-person/
“Letter About Myself From The 3rd Person.” GradesFixer, 12 Jun. 2019, gradesfixer.com/free-essay-examples/letter-about-myself-from-the-3rd-person/
Letter About Myself From The 3rd Person. [online]. Available at: <https://gradesfixer.com/free-essay-examples/letter-about-myself-from-the-3rd-person/> [Accessed 26 May 2024].
Letter About Myself From The 3rd Person [Internet]. GradesFixer. 2019 Jun 12 [cited 2024 May 26]. Available from: https://gradesfixer.com/free-essay-examples/letter-about-myself-from-the-3rd-person/
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