Life Experience that Made Me Who I Am

This essay is about an experience in my life that has changed me and made me who I am today.

One day I came home, my father and his possessions were gone. My father did not give any warning to anyone in advance, including my mother. I was ten when my parents got divorced, my life and sense of security and stability as I knew it changed. I was not previously aware of the concept of divorce as that was not something that happened in my world. I internalized the reasons for their divorce believing that I was to blame. After my father left, we lost our house to foreclosure and our cars to repossession. My mother, brother and I were forced to immediately move to an apartment under a freeway overpass which was the only place we could afford. As my mother worked long hours to support our family, I came home to an empty apartment. The television and the radio became my companions. I have no recollection of seeing my father for quite some time after he initially left. My visitations with him were sporadic, sparse or cancelled at the last minute. Disappointment became a common emotion for me when dealing with my father and I was forced to learn not to trust or rely on him for anything. When we did see him, he repeatedly disparaged my mother regardless of its effects on me. As a result of this life experience, I was forced to become self-reliant. I learned coping skills and how to overcome adversity. Due to our limited financial means, I began working part time jobs at the age of thirteen and, as a result, developed a strong work ethic and a sense of independence.

As a judicial officer dealing with parents with addiction issues (either in family law or guardianship matters), I draw on my own life experience from a prior relationship with a person who struggled to maintain her abstinence. That relationship allowed me to have a firsthand daily experience of the effects that addiction can have on relationships with partners, friends, and family members on the example of my father. I also gained an understanding of the root causes of addiction, the collateral effects of addiction, and how their addiction(s) and/or other mental health issues can consume someone I additionally learned the benefits and flaws of the recovery process.

As result of my life experiences, both personally and professionally, I implement a holistic approach to case management through early judicial intervention to focus the parties to work collaboratively towards a positive and amicable resolution which benefits everyone involved, especially the minor children. As so many of my litigants suffer from mental health and addiction issues, I draw on my experience and employ a collaborative court comprehensive approach to help parent(s) reunify with their children through treatment, education and intervention and judicial understanding. I do this through patient and insightful discussions with the litigants on relevant disputed topics that helps facilitate the exchange of information and better evaluate their positions. Additionally, early intervention and properly crafted orders lessen the emotion and tensions between the parties, increases contacts with both parents, benefits the child’s well-being and reduces the recidivism rate of multiple court filings between the parties.