Self Disclosure and Social Penetration in Relationships

Introduction

Where would our relationships with coworkers be without good communication? Communication in the workplace is very important considering how much time we spend with our coworkers. According to our book “social penetration theory is reciprocity with similar levels or “risk” that lead to increased intimacy between two people” (Lynn H. Turner, Richard L. West, 2018, p. 174). This theory can take a relationship from casual to very intimate. The Social Penetration Theory explains the importance of self-disclosure in a relationship. Self disclosure is the disclosing of certain aspects of your life. Self-disclosure will eventually develop a relationship but is ultimately a decision, you choose how much you want to disclose and when to do it. Furthermore, the social penetration theory can be described as the “onion theory”. This means that we have layers and as people get to know each other they shed layers. Usually, the relationship starts off slow and layers continue to shed over time, which is when self-disclosure comes into place. Self-disclosure is the focus point of developing a close relationship.

Applying Self Disclosure in Communication

When two individuals first meet they start off slow by getting to know each other. They usually talk about where they’re from, where they’ve worked, and hobbies. In this stage you’re deciding whether this individual is someone you want to disclose to. The onion starts to peel off the more you get to know this certain individual. A big part of this theory is the rewards and costs gained from the interaction of others. I can apply this theory with my old coworker Karissa.

I applied to work at a retail store and got the job on the spot. I was very nervous about meeting my new coworkers and was worried that I wasn’t going to be able to connect with them the same way I couldn’t connect with my old coworkers. The first person I really got to talking with was Karissa. I remember I was very quiet for the first week and then during the second week Karissa starts talking to me. We talked about where we are from and previous jobs we’ve held. Small talk you can say. I felt a little more comfortable with Karissa and decided I wanted to continue getting to know her. In the Social Penetration theory as communication continues non intimate levels become deeper. This is what was happening with the new relationship I had with Karissa. As the layers shed we became closer. Now, we were talking about our family members, our hobbies, and our boyfriends. Our relationship turns from casual to very intimate when we finally open up about our mental health and anxiety issues.

Conclusion

Our book includes an example where Lana tells her roommate she was not able to afford school, Rachael disclosed that if her father didn’t take out a loan then she wouldn't have been able to afford school either. This experience brought them closer. This similarly happened to Karissa and I. One day she was crying and told me that her anxiety was getting the best of her and that she could not face the customers that day. I told her I struggle with the same issue and that I too had severe anxiety. We talked about our issues and how we cope with it. This brought us closer because my experience validated her experience. The social penetration theory proposes that as the development of the relationship occurs non intimate levels become deeper and more intimate which is what occurred in my friendship with Karrisa.  

References

1. Lynn H. Turner, Richard L. West. (2018). Understanding Interpersonal Communication: Making Choices in Changing Times. 2nd Edition. Cengage Learning