The Real Meaning of Self-realization

Do not believe a thing because you have read about it in a book. Do not believe a thing because another man has said it was true. Do not believe in words because they are hallowed by tradition. Find out the truth for yourself. Reason it out. That is realization.” ― Swami Vivekananda

Recently, I had a major argument with someone, I was arguing for what I felt was right and gave up at the end because I felt hurt and didn’t want to waste my energy. That day whole night I was not able to sleep properly, thinking about how can someone have a bad opinion about me when I have not done anything and was very much depressed next day thinking why we people argue with others and hurt each other? When we can talk politely and discuss the matter. That day literally all of sudden I felt from inside that if people think I am bad that means to some extent I am going on the wrong track and I need to look inside myself and change something within me rather than arguing with others. That day I realised the actual meaning of self-realization, which I’ll discuss in this essay.

The soul is the sum total of all of our experiences. It struck me how this meant that every experience adds to our soul, and there is no experience that can detract from it. “The personal revolution is far more difficult, and is the first step in any revolution.” ~ Michael Frant

We loosely talk of Self-realization, for lack of a better term. But how can one realize or make real that which alone is real? All we need to do is to give up our habit of regarding as real that which is unreal. All religious practices are meant solely to help us do this. When we stop regarding the unreal as real, then reality alone will remain, and we will be that.

People aren’t always what you want them to be. Sometimes they disappoint you or let you down, but you have to give them a chance first. You can’t just meet someone and expect them to be everything you’re looking for and then be angry when they’re not every hope and aspiration you projected onto them. It’s foolish to believe that someone will be what you imagine them to be. And sometimes, when you give them a chance, they turn out to be better than you imagined. Different, but better.

We’re so wrapped up with egotistical things, career, family, having enough money, meeting the mortgage, getting a new car, fixing the radiator when it breaks—we’re involved in trillions of little acts just to keep going. So we don’t get into the habit of standing back and looking at our lives and saying, Is this all? Is this all I want? Is something missing?”

The experiences that we may reject because we think they aren’t the correct experience may actually be made up of the same peace, joy, and love we are hoping to have. We think of this world as a world of opposites, or dualities. But if we look more closely, we find that the so-called opposites are really just different amounts of one thing. Light and dark are an example: There is no such thing as dark, only light existing as photons. There are no “darkons.” You can’t buy a “flashdark” and point it at things and make them disappear. However, when there is little or no light, we call that dark, even though there is no such thing. Similarly, the only thing that exists is our true nature, which is filled with joy and love. If we are experiencing little or no joy or love, we may call that sadness or fear, although those are really only the relative absence of joy and love. And of course, there is often some joy in sadness and some love even in fear.

Forgiveness is an aspect of acceptance/love/peace/truth.

Resentment is an aspect of hatred/emotionalism/negativity/falsehood.

Forgiveness brings utter peace and serenity of mind.

Resentment brings inner turmoil and suffering.

Which do you choose? And when? And how often? It’s totally up to us.

Acceptance/forgiveness means choosing to see the absolute perfection and beauty in everything.

Everything/everyone is currently operating at its own level of awareness and/or evolution.

Everyone/everything is what it is right now because that’s what it needs to learn, or un-learn.

People are what they are, and make mistakes, because they really don’t know otherwise (or they don’t want to know otherwise). If they REALLY knew otherwise, they would ALREADY be otherwise.

Whenever we decide to create a greater degree of change in our lives we need to start doing things differently. If you do so your mind will be utterly free from any heavy or hard thoughts as none of them would matter anymore. That constant struggle to choose between desire and aversion, like and dislike, good or bad would also vanish and it would be clear that they are the makings of your own mind, driven by ego.

There will be no urge to go after anything. Even needs will diminish. The mind will be brimming with constant joy. There will be no doubts; so no questions anymore. What a relief it would be! Life will be lived in every moment. There will be no regret on anything from the past or fear and concern about anything in the future, as past and future will never matter anymore. “As human beings, our greatness lies not so much in being able to remake the world – that is the myth of the atomic age – as in being able to remake ourselves.” ~ Mohandas Gandhi

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