The Comparison of Two Books "The Happiness Hypothesis" by Jonathan Haidt & "Loving Ourselves" by Ray Ashford

Both of the books I read about happiness reminded me of Yoshi Valley in Mario Kart 8. On that map, you have many paths to choose but no matter what path you choose you end up in the same place.

Like the path to happiness, the path that is most optimal depends on the person. The books The Happiness Hypothesis and Loving Ourselves both present drastically different paths. Theses paths differ from the time they were made, the type of psychology they use and, the author's personal beliefs.Even though the two books were written at very different times some of the ideas are shared while many of them are different.

The Happiness Hypothesis was published in 2006 while Loving Ourselves was published in 1977. There have been many psychological breakthroughs that have happened in the time between when the books were published.Since there was a big gap between the publish date of these books the books have very different ways on the path to happiness. In The Happiness Hypothesis, Haidt uses positive psychology to explain his path to happiness. Meanwhile Loving Ourselves Ashford focuses more on the “negative side” of psychology to explain his path to happiness.

The authors of the books Jonathan Haidt and Ray Ashford have very similar yet very different backgrounds. For example, both Haidt and Ashford were both religious at one point in their lives. Haidt had a change of heart when he was a senior in high school and became a Jewish Atheist. Ashford stuck with religion and became a Minister of a Christian Church. Haidt was born and raised in the United States and Ashford lived in Canada for a while.

The author of the book The Happiness Hypothesis Jonathan Haidt is a positive psychologist and he uses the idea of positive psychology to illustrate how our mind works and in turn how to become a happier human being. Haidit also uses the teachings of philosophers and sages, his knowledge of religion, and research data to show what he believes is the most optimal way to happiness.

The author of the book Loving Ourselves Ray Ashford relies heavily on his observations to illustrate why some people dislike or even hate themselves. Ashford also uses the teachings of philosophers and sages, his experience as a religious figure, and research data to show what he believes is the most optimal way to happiness. The first main ideas the books share is that you need to love others to truly be happy.

In The Happiness Hypothesis, Haidt brings up an experiment where monkeys were left alone with their very own ”surrogate mothers” which were cloth or metal shaped like a monkey. The monkeys ended up getting attached to the “mothers”. Haidt then brings up attachment theory which is a theory that says when you spend time with someone you love your stress level decreases.

In Loving Ourselves Ashford brings up the idea that when we help people love themselves, they love us, and then that helps us love ourselves. He then brings up many good and bad examples of loving others. One example he brings up is a young girl was playing with her friends and they slowly got called into their house. She ended up being the last child out. She waited to get called back in but she never was. This child was left thinking that she was not loved as much as the other children. Ashford then mentions when a Harvard professor’s son wanted to be a mechanic.

The professor then said, “go to it I don’t think everyone needs a university degree”. He then said that everyone needs a mix of freedom and challenge. While I agree with both of these the one I side with more, in this case, is Ashford. The reason I side with Ashford is that I think everyone needs to get challenged once and a while. The second main idea the books share is that you need to have restraint to truly be happy. In The Happiness Hypothesis, Haidt brings up the historical example of Ben Franklin. Ben Franklin wrote down a list of 13 flaws in which he tried every week to improve one of those flaws. Even though Ben Franklin had fallen short on his idea of improving himself he did say that he was a better man because of the challenge.

In Loving Ourselves Ashford says that self-discipline is one of the fundamental ideas of self-love. Ashford suggests that a mix of self-discipline and freedom is the best. In the example, a educator at Pacific School of religion said that young people have lost freedom in gaining a “new freedom”. What he means by that is by having a choice younger people were making choices that they were not ready for or that they did not want. I agree with both of these, but I agree more with Haidt. The reason I agree with Haidt is that freedom is sometimes so vast that it is restricting. I also think the examples Haidt provided are much better.The last main idea the books share is that you need to learn acceptance to truly be happy.

In The Happiness Hypothesis, Haidt suggests that you need to change the way you see the world and accept the things that have happened. Haidt uses Anicus Boethius as an example. Boethius was a very powerful and rich man, but one day he was accused of treason and sent to jail. He was devastated about this but he changed his mind when he looked at things in another light. He became grateful that he had been in power for so long. He was also grateful that his family was still alive. Haidt one-ups himself with an even better example. This great example is from Dr.Phil. He said, “ there is no reality, only perception.” Haidt’s point was if you learn how to accept misfortunes then you will be a happier person.

In Loving Ourselves Ashford uses two simple examples. The first example is things that we should not accept. The things he mentioned are slavery, poverty, disease, illiteracy, etc. A second example is a man that tried every method to get rid of dandelions in his yard. He keeps trying to get rid of them he asked what he should do. He was told that he should just learn to love them. If we apply this to ourselves we should fix things that negatively impact our lives but we should accept the small inconveniences. Both of these examples are equally great. The example from Haidt is much more complex but it is a more real-life example, while Ashford’s example is a more simple to understand example, but it gets the point across.Overall both of these books have their pros and cons. If I had met someone that actually wanted to get a good self-help book I would recommend The Happiness Hypothesis.

The reason I would recommend The Happiness Hypothesis is that it is more informative and more in depth than the other book. Since it is more informative I think it would help someone who needs help. But on the other hand, if I had met somebody wanted to just read a book or was looking for a book to do a book report on I would recommend Loving Ourselves. The reason I would do this is because it is more relatable to me than the other book is. In my opinion, I had more fun reading Loving Ourselves than The Happiness Hypothesis. But if I was forced to choose one of these books I would choose Loving Ourselves only for the reason that I related more to this book. Both Haidt and Ashford made wonderful and factful books that enlightened me and many others.