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“I wish I may, I wish I might, Wish up on this star tonight.” “twinkle twinkle little star, how I wonder what you are, like a diamond in the sky, twinkle twinkle little star.” As children we are taught these nursery rhymes, at that time we only thought that they were fun little rhymes. We did not see the hidden message from within the rhymes. Subconsciously though, you do learn something, maybe just that wishes are dreams your heart makes, or that wishes do come true, or even that the stars are always there, looking like diamonds, twinkling up above us. As a child you more than likely did not make a connection between stars and people, that people are like stars, each unique and beautiful in there own ways.
“Twinkle Twinkle little star… like a diamond in the sky” Whilst comparing a star to a diamond you are also saying that you yourself are a diamond. When you see a diamond what are the first things that you think of? You probably think of beauty, or marriage/love. When you make that connection, isn’t it the same as saying that you are beautiful, and you are loved by your higher power? Each and every one of us, no matter what shape or size you are, you are beautiful. Colbie Caillat sings a song with the lyrics, “Put your makeup on…so they like you…you don’t have to try so hard.” She is talking to you, the ones who believe that you have to put on a face or conform to blend in and be like everyone else, but if you’re like everyone else, who are you? You don’t have to try, you are perfect, and beautiful just the way you are. Bruno Mars sings these words, ” when I see your face, there’s not a thing that I would change, ‘cuz you’re amazing just the way you are.” This song is 100% true. You do not have to change for anybody, even if they say change this or change that. If people don’t like or accept you the way your are, that is their choice, but that doesn’t lessen your value, worth, or beauty. It is way more cool to be who you are, rather than who you are not.
My advice to you is to be who you are, do you, nobody else in the entire world can be you, you are uniquely you. I, just like you, struggle with all of this. I have been told time and time again that I need to diet, or that doesn’t fit right, or put some makeup on. Mostly by my peers, but not always, sometimes family members. Like everybody else in the world is really threatens my self esteem, and self image, never once does this help a person, overtime it made me hate everything about who I was, and how I looked. Like many I tried to change everything about me. In middle school, and high school I tried so hard to fit in, I wore American Eagle, and Hollister; I started to wear make up, and put on a happy face, just to try and make even one friend. Nobody noticed until it was too late that I had quit eating, that I only wore long-sleeves and hoodies to cover the cuts and scars on my arms and legs. Nobody thought twice about how when I went home, I would slip into sweats and cry myself to sleep. They never knew what I saw when I looked into a mirror, I hated everything I saw, I became afraid of mirrors and what was in them. I became ashamed, super self-conscious, and I started to block my family out of my life. Coming to the point where I could hardly tolerate seeing them because I put the blame on all of them, saying that it’s their fault this happened or that happened. I became so afraid of being rejected and abandoned that I wouldn’t let anyone in. I tore myself into tiny particles in the air, I destroyed who I once was. I rebelled more and more. I cut off my hair, died it black. I got rid of almost all my clothes, a wardrobe once full of color now mostly black, grey and red. I learned to only listen, and not to speak, how to keep my thoughts to myself. Growing deeper and deeper into my depression, until it was too far gone. I tried to kill myself one, two, three, four times in a two year span. The fourth time put me close to death, 30 minutes away. Almost a succession, another fail.
All this happened because I lost who I was, I forgot that I was a star, beautiful and worthy in my own way. I just left residential treatment for the third time in two years, after being inpatient 6 times the last for 18 days, and after being in the ICU for a week after each attempt. While in residential this last time I realized that we all forgot, that I wasn’t the only one. We all need to remember that sometimes, wishes do come true; that every time you look above and see stars, that they are staring back at us in awe of our beauty, staring back and forth seeing diamonds when looking upon the other. They see it, now it is our time to see it too. When you feel alone; when you feel you’re not good enough; when you feel you have to conform and be someone you’re not; I dare you to look up in the sky, notice the stars, slow your breath, and say the nursery rhymes, “twinkle twinkle little star’ and “star light, star bright.” Remember this, no matter what anyone tells you, YOU ARE BEAUTIFUL! Be who you are. Be like a Giraffe and stand tall, don’t be ashamed anymore. Let yourself shine like the star you already are. Remember nobody can take your place, there is no understudy, just you
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