The Problem of Date Rape in America

Today s sadly growing trend in America is date rape. We hear about date rape on the news, in classrooms, and through school rumors almost daily. Fortunately, in recent years, the occurrences of violent rapes (those that are committed by unidentified men who forcibly attack women and then proceed to rape them) are slowly decreasing. Unfortunately, "date rapes," which were virtually unknown a generation ago, have now become a common place. Unlike, a violent rape, a date rape is committed by someone known to the victim. In these types of situations, the rapist can sometimes be even the victim s best friend.

A "date rape" can leave emotional scars much deeper than those that are left from a violent rape because the crime is committed by someone whom the victim has an attachment to. Because of this, many times the victim goes into denial and refuses to accept the fact that she has been raped. But the question on everyone s mind is, who do we put the blame on, or whose fault was it in the first place? I don t agree with Camille Paglia s view saying that date rape is usually the girl s fault and I can t really say I agree with Susan Jacoby s notion that date rape is caused by miscommunication between the two sexes.

Date rape is caused by society s lack of awareness and prevention of this vastly growing trend. Date rape is an epidemic that is slowly plaguing our entire nation, and unless some drastic action is taken immediately, this epidemic may never be cured. The bottom line is that rape is rape no matter what word you put in front of it.

Camille Paglia believes that it is almost always the girl s fault for being raped, due to her own lack of basic street smarts. Paglia s argument displays a gender that is na ve to the surrounding world and its dangers. She states, Rape is an outrage that cannot be tolerated in civilized society. Yet feminism, which has waged a crusade for rape to be taken more seriously, has put young women in danger by hiding the truth about sex from them. (Paglia, 558)

By this statement she is saying that in today s society young women are not taught the truth about sex, which in turn, causes them to be more vulnerable to date rape. This narrow-minded way of thinking is the reason why many victims of "date rape" often go through a phase of denial in which they feel that someone that they know could not possibly have raped them.

Other victims blame themselves for the rape. Many times, the victims feel as if it was they, who somehow through their actions, brought on intercourse and because of this miscommunication, it was in their fault. Because of these two reasons, many times a woman is not even aware that she has been raped.

Paglia also believes that women today don t know what they want, and in turn, they send mixed signals causing confusion with young men. Young men do not know or understand that by flirting with them that the young woman doesn t automatically mean that they (the girl) wants to have sex with him, or his clan of men for that matter. She says that it is the girl s fault for sending those mixed signals in the first place.

Paglia states, A woman going to a fraternity party is walking into Testosterone Flats, full of prickly cacti and blazing guns. If she goes, she should be armed with resolute resistance. She should arrive with girlfriends and leave with them. (Paglia, 559) By herself, she is basically asking to be raped, because that is what the young males think is the reason why she came by herself in the first place. If every woman began thinking this way then a woman would need a personal companion wherever she went. There would be no such thing as a woman s freedom to roam freely by herself wherever she pleases or desired.

Date rape has also become a common place in universities throughout America. Many universities refuse to accept this problem and take action upon it because doing so can possibly tarnish their reputations. It is exactly this denial that is allowing the problem of "date rape" to grow. Because many students know that they will not be punished for their actions, they continue to find victims and "date rape" them. Paglia then goes on to explain that,

College men are at their hormonal peak. They have just left their mothers and are questing for their male identity. In groups, they are dangerous A girl who lets herself get dead drunk at a fraternity party is an idiot. Feminists call this blaming the victim. I (Paglia) call it common sense. (Paglia, 559)

Again, this addresses the issues that woman should not roam freely by herself or they re asking to be raped. By following Paglia s philosophy, the date rape epidemic will never end. The only way to solve this growing problem is that universities must begin to accept the fact that "date rape" is growing and must introduce programs to solve this disease.

Unlike most universities, local, state and federal governments are beginning to accept the fact that date rapes are no longer a rarity. Defendants who are charged with rape in situations in which they have known a woman prior to having intercourse with them are now being found guilty whereas in years past, they would not be punished.

Ellen Goodman gives an excellent example of the changing mentality towards rape in her essay, "When A Women Says No" in which she describes a case where a woman was raped by four men. The trial testimony showed that the woman had previously had sex with three of those four men. However, the jury still found the four men guilty of rape. They felt that "Sexual consent between a man and a woman on one occasion does not mean the man has access to her whenever it strikes his fancy."(Goodman, 99)

Although these types of trials do not always end with the same verdict, a few years ago, women would not have even pressed charges. The fact that these types of cases are even being brought to trial shows how important the issue of "date rape" has become.

Personally, I am sick and tired of men, in general, automatically assuming any woman, for any reason, wants to have sex with them or all of them, for that matter. In my opinion date rape should not even exist! No one should have sex with anyone just because they assume that the other partner wants to have sex.

Why are they even having sex before they are married, anyway? But whatever their reason is, young women should be smart when it comes to young males and their raging hormones. All it takes is a little common sense and they won t be raped for any reason. As long as young women go in groups to fraternity parties and leave together, there should not be a problem. And a young woman, no matter what, should never get dead drunk at a fraternity party! That is just common sense. Paglia does have a great thought when she says,

The only solution to date rape is female self-awareness and self-control. A woman s number-one line of defense against rape is herself. When a real rape occurs, she should report it to the police. Complaining to college committees because the courts take too long is ridiculous. College administrations are not a branch of the judiciary. They are not equipped or trained for legal inquiry. Colleges also must alert incoming students to the problems and dangers of adulthood. (Paglia, 561)

With the same token, young males should be able to control their hormones until the appropriate time! Men should never take an advantage of any girl, no matter what the situation is. Even if the male has been dating the young woman for years, he should never just assume that she wants to have sex with him. If any male has any respect for himself, he should respect others in return, including females!

I also believe that men who do commit rape should have stricter punishment. In my opinion that punishment should be for the male to be sexually fixed so that they can not have kids in the future, along with a longer jail sentence. I know that may seem a little harsh, but you have to put yourself in the woman s shoes What would you want to happen to him?

I am one who believes in the eye for an eye, tooth for a tooth punishment system, but in this case the system would not really be effective. The bottom line is rape of any sort of shape or form is wrong, and those who commit rape should face strict consequences!

As we enter the new millennium, it s crucial that Americans as a whole needs to admit that rape is an issue that is affecting the whole country. Without acknowledging the problem that rape has become, there is no room to improve.

The only way that America can truly eradicate this dilemma, which is slowly taking over our country, is by creating better awareness. We need to admit that rape is a psychological disease and our society needs to find a way to help those with this disease.

Nobody- not even your worst enemy should be subjected to the experience of a rape. There is no crime more emotionally painful to the victim than rape because the man who rapes a woman takes away all of her pride, self respect, and dignity and throws her into a life of living hell.