Modest Proposal Ideas on The Topic of Abortion

Within the 21st century, there has been a massive amount of topics debated on the daily. The most striking, and fiercely debated of them all is abortion, and I must candidly confess that I am tired of hearing about it. If these traditionalists honestly believe that abortion is a sin and the women that make the choice to abort are heartless, evil monsters, then we should stop standing around looking at the awful picket signs and actually do something. What, are we just going to say “unborn lives matter!” and hope for them to vanish like Cinderella's entire wardrobe and ride at midnight? We must get to the origin of the problem.

We first need to ask ourselves: what causes, or what do these women think about when they say “I have to get an abortion”? Are these women just born with a diabolical way of being, are they murders, are they psychologically damaged, or did they just feel the need to take a life after a long night of partying, mixed with drinking and maybe some hardcore drugs? Because obviously, any woman cold enough to have an abortion has to be some type of “zooted”.

Some people will try to convince you saying that the decision has nothing to do with the women's lifestyle, but everything to do with the unforeseen future of her child. A woman getting pregnant, will have the Pro-choicers crying and her irresponsible, deadbeat baby daddy refusing to pay child support, or might just get right up and walk out, and she may not have the means to provide for herself, let alone another life. Pro-choicers want us to think that if a woman has an impasse job, absolutely no one, and is worried daily about if she’s going to have a meal for the next day, it’s totally fine for her to choose abortion instead of allowing her child to suffer right along with her.

Diabolical, right?

Unlike Jonathan Swift's modest proposal, to feed the poor children of Ireland to the hierarchy, in an attempt to solve their overpopulation and economic situation. I am proposing three less gruesome solutions that I strongly believe will solve the abortion epidemic in this country.

The first idea is that we should outlaw condoms and sex education in schools. We start exposing these kids to the mechanics of sex and pregnancy prevention, before they are even capable of making one full desicion on their own (elementary), we are basically telling them its okay to be “bumpin’ uglies,” and there wont be any major consequences like prgnancy that cant be undone. Banning condoms will make couples want to be more careful or even not do the deed because there is a much higher chance for an unwanted pregnancy.

Next, we need to set up a national fund which would allow women to be paid for choosing to keep the baby instead of aborting, or in other words choosing life over murder..

If you gave an impoverished women the choice between having an abortion and recieveing a genrous amount of money in exchnage for allowing the life inside of her to fully develope, shell defenitley choose the money. Therefore, dinner will now be served and she'll be enjoying it with her new bundle of joy, guilt and problem free living the life she only dreamed of.

At last, we must create a law making it illegal to have “relations” with someone without you both signing mutual contracts, providing one another with extremely vital information like their social security number, their medical history, and transcripts from high school. By us putting all of our originally private medical information out in the open allowing anyone and everyone to know, we can see and catch any condition the person might have right away. Allowing us to make better decisions on our sexual partners. A huge bonus about this solution for the ladies, is that they will no longer have to worry about the men being deadbeats, not paying child support (wich not to mention it’s actually required from most of these men by law), because we will already have all of your bank account information! Making this the perfect solution!

Think about it, as long as we are all willing to give up any slight piece of privacy you have or you would like to have, and allow the goverment to have total control of not only our lives but us as well, we can eliminate abortion in america once and for all.

I mean of course we could take the less complicated or less demanding path if you will and assume that women are smart and diligent enough to make their own choices as the individual they are about their own body, not anyone else's simply the one that belongs to them. We could have trust in the well known fact that abortion isnt something women take lightly, that they contimplate this for more then jusgt a few days, and are effected by the decision they make for each and every seond of every day for the rest of their lives. Here's a crazy one, we could even try to focus on having s better sex education, and allow free access to birth control to lower the risk of couples facing an unplanned pregnancy to begin with.

But of course, we are americans and we don't like the easy way out.