My Background: Life Story as a Definition of You

My life’s background is very similar to a roller coaster, you do not know what to expect. My background defines me as a person because of the experience I faced every day in my life. Everyone story is different but I think my story is very meaningful and a lot of people can learn from it. Since I was born my family has been through many rough patches. Some of these experiences consist of no money and violence around us. My uncle then decided that it was time for us to experiences a better life. He became our sponsored and petition for my dad and the rest of his siblings to join him in the United States of America. Since my dad was being sponsored by his brother, his kids automatically were sponsored too. Furthermore, after years have passed we finally made it to the US five years ago.

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Since then we have adjusted our lives to live the American way. Even though it was a relief to get away from a third world country, there were problems I faced in the country because I am ‘different. The two major problems I faced are racism and having anxiety over my mother and siblings remaining in Jamaica. Growing up in Jamaica we are not used to seeing racism occur or even experiencing any. Our motto has always been “Out of Many One People” meaning everyone is treating equally and the citizens are united as one. Since I have lived in America and started attending school here I was treated differently. I remember when I was enrolled in my first day of middle school the counselor at the school wanted me to join ELA which is a class for Non-English speakers. My parent and I kept telling the counselor that I am very fluent in English and that is what I grew up learning. Another event that occurs was when students at my school started to make fun of my accent or even the color of my skin.

They would usually make jokes about how dark I am from a regular African-American. This result in me starting to feel very insecure every time I walked the halls of my school or even when I am about to do presentations in front of my class. These judgments started to make me not want to embrace my culture, so I would usually change the way how I talk and started to talk like a regular American. As I grew older and older I began to see myself losing my accent and not embracing my culture like I used to. So, I started to talk how I usually talk; because I told myself I would not let bad influences change who I am. From these experiences, I learned that it is fine to be different from everyone else and that it is fine to embrace your background and who you really are. Furthermore, embracing my culture is one thing that influences my background; the other is my motivation to do well in school. My biggest motivation to do well in school is my mom, she has sacrificed so much for all of her children.

Most of the time I worry about her and the rest of my family back home because of the violence that has been escalated there. The reason why she is my motivation is because one of my goals in life is to sponsor for my mother and the rest of my siblings to come to the US and experience the better life I know they deserved. Another reason why my mom is my motivation is because every time I feel like giving up I always think about why I am doing what I do. So when I think about my mom and the smile I want to put on her face it makes me fight for what I want to achieve in life. In brief, I would say my character is nothing without my meaningful background even though some experiences are like going down a roller coaster. Everyone has a different story but my story is what defines me as a person. I think that if I haven’t been through rough patches in my life, I would not have a meaningful background.

The start of my early years I could remember being happy. There was no significant event that happened around the age of infancy to one years old. I was raised in a single parent home with my fraternal twin and my eldest sister. Growing up I was always a mommy’s girl. I was attached at the hip. Not having my father in my life did not affect me until further down the road.Throughout my life I had multiple babysitters, which was understandable because my mom was doing it all alone. I remember something special from every single one of them. At that age I felt like I could trust anyone.There was never a time in which i didn’t feel loved by the people around me. I didn’t have much trouble trusting others until my later years, when I realized people can be deceiving. In Erikson’s first theory he said “With a proper balance of trust and mistrust, infants acquire hope”. Which gave me more faith that whatever is going around me will be okay.

I think it’s very important for parents to discipline their children. That’s how you learn right from wrong. I wasn’t a troubled kid growing up, but I made a few mistakes. I always wanted to do things on my own. So I can show my mom that I am mature for my age. For some reason I would always wander away from my mom in public places. It could be two feet away and she would freak out. Growing up in New York was different from Virginia. I always wanted to go play outside or go somewhere, but instead my mom kept us in the house. It wasn’t safe out in the streets. But being that young I didn’t understand her point of view. I always wondered why we couldn’t play outside until we got older. It made me feel as if I was doing something wrong. I was trying to explore the world around me but it seemed like I was getting punished for it.

I would say that I struggled with Erikson’s fourth theory of development,Industry vs. Inferiority . When school became more than just play time, I had a difficult time at the beginning. The school system I was at in New York was the complete opposite from Virginia. I actually felt like I was learning something when I moved down here. When I first came here I use to take speech classes. It’s something that I always struggled with, even to this day. I always found ways to get around what I was trying to say because I couldn’t pronounce certain words. It was weird because I use to be in speech classes with kids three grades lower than me. My speech improved but sometimes I felt different from the rest of the kids in my class. This made me feel benethen my peers. But I learned that you can’t compare yourself to others. Everyone is on a different level.

Being a twin always made it hard for me to form my own identity. People always compared us together. Since birth to our early years of middle school we would dress alike. I would definitely say it took a long time before I formed my own identity, and its still changing. I was always afraid of being who I really was. I knew what I wanted in life but feared what others may think. In middle school thats when I really recognized my struggle with my identity. Around that age girls always wanted to act like each other. I tried but it never worked for me. I couldn’t be like the rest of them. You must balance the desire to try out many possible selves and the need to select a single self ( Kail Cavanaugh, 2017). Which is very important to the young developing mind. Throughout my teenage years I felt insecure, I was self conscious. There’s a lot of pressure for people to uphold a certain standard. positive reinforcement from parents, teachers, and society is vital. I learned you will never be able to find your true self if you continue to not be you.

When I was younger I could care less about being in a relationship. My focus was working at my fast food job and doing good in school. But now I realize that it’s something special to have someone to good through life with. The bad and the good. Growing a healthy relationship is good for you mentally. I wouldn’t mind being alone but raising a family with two parents is what I have in mind.

I always fear the future. I know what I want to do in my life, but not sure when and how its going to happen. I have a successful career but I start to reflect on my childhood. My mom would work multiple jobs on end. I would barely get to see her sometimes.I wish there was someone there when my mom couldnt be. I know its not her fault ,but it still affects me in some type of way. I think it’s important to find ways to helping out generations ahead of you. Taking my education and knowledge for the betterment of others will do good for our society.

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At this point in my life I don’t want to spend time thinking about the past or the things I should have done. I want to be content with the life I lived. I don’t care how I die but as long as im at peace with the ones around me. I overcame a lot of hurdles but I didn’t let that define who I am as a person. I didnt let it affect my future. My stages through life shaped be to become stronger. Over the years I was able to find myself. And the person I am today is someone that im proud of. I will die peacefully knowing that my children are happy and I made a positive impact on their lives. I will die knowing that I made a difference in this world.