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What is Love and Friendship?

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Tinaeya Culbreth Dr. Galen Foresman PHIL 267-001: Philosophy of Love and Friendship 20 January 2018

Love and Friendship

What is love?

Love is a multitude of emotions that allows one to become closer with their heart. It is a connection that shows protectiveness and affection for the other. Love comes in many forms and is showered in various ways. To have a loving relationship, whether it be romantic or friendship, one must first learn how love. To truly love, I believe you must understand what love looks and feels like. There are no rules and regulations to love because love is so wild. There is no right or wrong way to love but the feeling is one that cannot be explained. It is supposed to be unconditional yet at times, there are conditions. The way that one would love a sibling, parent, and friend is different from how they would love on their spouse. Having love for someone and being in love are two completely different concepts. Family, friends, and emotional partners are people we do not want to imagine living our lives without. The love that we share with parents and siblings is indescribable and fragile because it is given perpetually. When you are in love with someone, and that someone being your boyfriend or girlfriend, you are potentially seeking soulful connections. To be deep in love with a spouse is basically having a soul mate. On a more spiritual level you can find this person to be your equal. People who love to feed their souls and expect reciprocity, challenge and supports their spouse’s idea of what love is.

Although love is beautiful, it can also be frightening. It could be everything you have ever done right and still not know your purpose for loving. Much like family, a friend is someone whom you can be whole, healed and confiding with. While friendships do not have many requirements, they do however, require respect, substance, and trust. Being a friend is almost like being a lover without the extent of the affection. Friends are people that support your personal growth all while cheering you on through life. A friend is a person who you find to be like yourself and sometimes better. To build a friendship, you must first learn how to be a friend to yourself. A relationship between true friends will be tested through hardships and be stagnant but will show whether it is worth staying friends or ending the relationship.

What exactly is a true friend?

The question is rather ambiguous. Speaking from experience, a true friend is someone you can lean on when you feel like you have no other outlet. A person whose presence feels welcoming and makes you feel comfortable to treat them like your family. Friendships built on love are free from judgement and are never dismissive. Meaningful friendships are not only based on physically meeting a person being that there are a million ways to build a bond. A person’s capability of being a friend allows them to take better control of their life relationships. To determine whether a person is a friend, one must use their discretion. After all said, it is safe to say that meaningful friendships are ones that are authentic and valuable.

When we think of marriage, we normally think of a perfectly happy couple who loves each other unconditionally. More importantly, marriage is so much more than that. Many marriages end because the individuals have failed to become more aware of what their love was worth. The secret to a successful marriage is to be best friends before anything else! Friendship matters because on days when you feel like you are not the best spouse, it will get you through. Attraction is great, but you must marry the person who you can laugh through your lowest points with. Being best friends will allow you to understand each other’s silence during the rough times and still be there in the time of need. Being there mentally and emotionally is sometimes more important than being there physically. The feeling of being loved can be vague but you should never neglect your best life by being married to a person whose love can not be proven. A marriage should be a learning experience everyday while living the pursuit of the future that is better than today. Mutual feelings and affection can help withhold a marriage but is often, the death of the arrangement. Under no circumstances should one feel as if their marriage was a mistake. You should never have to regret marrying the person that you once thought was the missing piece to your puzzle.

Marriages require leadership and teamwork but without those, it is sure to fail. When taking nuptials, you vow to be present through sickness and health and for better or worst so if one has failed to stay true to their vows, it is best to end the marriage. Ecclesiastes 4: 9-12 states that, “Two people are better off than one, for they can help each other succeed. If one person falls, the other can reach out and help. But someone who falls alone is in real trouble.”

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